Ten Years On

     I want to be very careful how I talk about this. I promised my children I would never speak badly about their mother, and over the course of the ten years we have been apart, I have held to that. I will start by saying that was really hard. Divorce, for those of you who don't know, sucks. It's worse when one person has decided how it's going to go, and the other is told to just go along with it. So how did we split? Not amicably. 

    My father decided he was going to throw himself an 80th birthday party. It didn't matter how my mother, or anyone for that matter, really felt. He was going to decide who was coming, what was happening, and all of the important parts. We were all invited to this party, so my kids, my now ex-wife, and I got on a plane and flew to Newark (because LaGuardia sucks). 

    My Ex and I were already in a bad place. We had been struggling to be around each other. I had just left the school I was at which I was working because, well, I hated it. This became another source of her frustration. Our first day in NY seemed...ok. We went to museums, and everything seemed to be ok for the kids. It was the party that would basically be the last time we were really civil with each other. I asked her to spend some time with me and hang out. She told me she was tired and couldn't. Then, she took off with my cousin and his wife. 

    Some back story: my ex-wife HATED my cousin and his wife after they talked down at her at my grandmother's funeral. This was a years long anger that apparently cooled off when she started making more money. Suddenly, they were equals. Instead of telling me, she took off with them for hours and left me with the kids. I was really angry. When she finally came home at 1:30 in the morning, she told me she wasn't interested in talking to me and went to sleep.

    Now the nice thing about New York (one of the many things) is that when you can't sleep, there's always something to do. I left the hotel we were staying at on 64th and walked all the way down to the West Village, then back to 110th, and then back to the hotel. It gave me time to 1. cool off my anger, and 2. see my birth city at night. 

    In the morning, we woke up, and I sent the kids out so I could talk to her. It became a fight as I explained how I felt, and as it got more heated, she said the words. "I want a divorce. I don't want to be married to you anymore. I already have feelings for someone else, and I want to see how it goes." I was angry, but more than that, I was really sad. Sad for my kids as their parents couldn't make it work. I felt like a failure in that minute. At the same time, I also wanted her gone. This led to a major issue. We had another 5 days on the east coast before we were heading back to Minnesota, and I didn't want her there anymore. 

    Looking back on it now, I should have fought harder to tell her no and make her go home, but I think she was afraid I would just bolt with the kids and hide in New York or Connecticut forever. This was not going to happen, but I can see no how she might have worried about that. Still, for me, those next 5 days were awkward as hell. We were in a house with my sister that my parents had found in Connecticut as part of the celebration. My brain was on fire trying to figure out what to do for my kids because I was so worried about them, and she wouldn't leave. When we got to the house, she claimed the master bedroom and said I could sleep in the basement bedroom with the kids. Again, I didn't fight. My mantra those days was, "Protect the kids."

    The first day after was a travel day, but it would get more awkward. My son was turning 10 while there. Lando (his nickname) loved his Grammy (my mother) and was excited to spend time with her. She had purchased a cake for him and had a local restaurant hold on to it in order to surprise him. To this day, I feel guilty that I was trying so hard to hold it together for the kids that I wasn't as much fun as I could have been for him and for my daughter. My family all knew at this point, so it was very awkward. They tiptoed around her and me, and let their guard down on things. My mother, especially, reminded me how my parents and sisters really didn't like my ex-wife...ever. For context, my parents offered me money to not marry her. My sisters, after meeting her the first time, said, "Oh you can do so much better." The problem was two-fold: 1. I was stubborn and didn't like being told I was wrong, but more so, 2. I was afraid no one could ever love me after I left college. I was afraid I'd be alone forever. It wasn't until later in life that I discovered that, as the kids say today, I had more rizz than I thought. 

    Now, I couldn't mope or feel bad for the kids or myself, so we ended up taking a "family" trip to Vermont, New Hampshire, and Maine. It was a great trip for the kids, but for me, it was like driving with a stranger. The feeling of trust was just...gone. It didn't help that she would take off at stops to call someone or text someone. I would find out later that she was fast-tracking some things for the divorce and didn't care what happened to me or the kids. I could go on about how difficult it was, but that's just complaining. One thing that kept creeping in was the feeling like I had failed my kids. That's one of the hardest parts of divorce is feeling like you failed.

Look at me faking like I was ok with this. 

    The absolute hardest part of all this, though, was this was the last time I would see my father alive. He had lost his license and needed someone to drive him to NYU Tisch Library, and I was voluntold. What happened there is a story for another time, but what I can share is that my father actually, for the first time in our relationship at that point, said to me, "You'll be ok without her. Probably better." He had never given me words of affirmation before, so this was very shocking. 

    The rest of the trip was awkward for me, but my kids had a great time. When we were leaving, my family wouldn't give my ex-wife any love. She told my father, "I love you, Dan," to which he responded, "Don't lie. It's rude." That would be the last time I'd see him. I'll admit that I carried A LOT of anger with me for a few years about that, and I wanted her to apologize for it. She never did, and she never will. 

    When we got back, she had already been in touch with a realtor about selling the house (hadn't talked to me about it), and had already started figuring out the logistics. We went to couples counseling where the counselor said we needed to split. My Ex explained that I didn't do enough to make money, and that's what she wanted. Someone to "care for her...monetarily." I wanted someone to love me for me and put the kids first. To this day, I find that so sad. I wanted my kids to be loved, and she wanted money. This was NOT the woman I had married at the beginning of the 21st century. 

    That's another aspect of divorce: the scales fall away, and you suddenly see your partner as they really are, not who they were. I was still in love with the woman I had started dating in college. This woman was not her and did not care about anyone but herself and her needs. She would move into a new house with her new boyfriend who would become her husband. There were a lot demands put on me. Either give me this much money (which she knew I didn't have) or sell the house. I had to move into a duplex with my kids (which worked out ok for a year) and essentially restart my life. There was so much anger as we had made a divorce decree, and she broke so much of it when it came to the kids. For ten years, my kids have known that I was the parent who made sure they were ok while their mom was the one who paid for things. 

    Even when it came to telling the kids about the divorce, my Ex couldn't figure out how to talk to them about it. She needed me to be the one to go through it with them and explain everything. 

    Ten years on, I can finally say this, but I feel guilt saying it: my divorce was hard, but it was one of the best things I ever went through. It took some time, but I found someone who loves me for me. No expectations of how much money to make or getting mad at me for being romantic or yelling at me for putting the kids first. I did date, which was wild as person in my late 30's, but it helped me to find who I am. I became comfortable with myself and saw the person others did instead of hating who was in the mirror. I realized that even with the divorce, I was a better parent than my parents. That was a big one. There were other struggles that happened at the same time. Let's just say the later part of 2016 was very hard on me. 

    My kids did survive the divorce though it really changed them. My daughter struggled with connections for a bit as she was 7 when her parents split. My son was 10, and, unfortunately, his relationship with his mom suffered for it. She chose herself and later her daughter, and she kind of pushed him off. His therapist always thought it was because he reminded her of me. 

    Now my Ex and I don't really talk. There was a moment about 4 years after we split where she called me because of some things happening in her life and needed me to be her shoulder. That was when I started feeling sorry for her. She had given everything up for this guy she was now with, and it meant she was lonely. I talked her through it, and I would do it again a few years later when she had to put the cat down and needed support. Maybe I was a sucker, but this is the mother of my children, and I need her to be functioning for them. 

    In a year or two, my kids will all be out and about in college or the "real world," and I don't think my Ex and I will talk at all...and I'm really ok with that. There's nothing I can get from her anymore. She doesn't fill any cup or anything like that. I am jealous of those folks who are friends with their exs, but that won't be me, and that's ok. As long as she continues to show care for our kids, that's all that matters. 

    So what's the moral of this long and stupid story? For me, it's that you can survive if a relationship ends. It's also understanding that you can't put everything into one person. It will end badly if you do. I like the person I am now post divorce SO much more than before. Hell, one of the last things my Ex said to me as we were departing from each other was, "I liked you better when you drank." That tells me everything I need to know about how she sees me. How she saw me. Now, I'm in a much better place. So if you're in a relationship, and it ends, grieve it. Be sad it ended and then move forward to better times ahead. 

Of course what do I know? I'm a schmuck who got divorced. I could be wrong. 

Dusting Off The Old Book

      Sometimes, to figure out where you are, you have to pull out an old book, dust it off, and look through it. So...hello. It's been *checks watch* 10 years. I guess we should catch up. 

    Since my last post in 2016, here's what's happened:

1. My divorce was finalized

2. I moved twice and did everything I could to keep my kids feeling comfortable and stable

3. I taught at 4 different schools and finally have a place that I feel wants me

4. I dated which was an adventure to say the least

5. The world went through COVID, the first Trump presidency, and we're in the second Trump presidency

6. I got engaged to a woman that loves my children, and they love her

7. My son started college, and my daughter is almost there

8. I navigated the post-divorce relationship with my ex-wife. (spoiler: it's been rough.) 

9. My mother died

    There's a lot for me to talk about on here, and I think in order to organize my emotions and thoughts, I will go through a lot of it in different posts. Tonight, however, I want to talk about something that most people wouldn't expect me to: The New York Knicks. 

Wait, you're thinking, Leab, you have years of stories to tell with lots of things that happened to you, and you're going to talk about...sportsball? Really?

Yup. As the Knicks are maybe on the cusp of winning a championship for the first time during my lifetime, and as the team was important to my mother and sister, I want to talk about my love for the team.

    See, here's the thing: In early 1986, at 8 years old, I went to my first Knicks game with my mother. At this time, the Knicks were...bad. They had just drafted Patrick Ewing (which some people thought was fixed), and they were trying to be good again. My mother got the tickets from a school raffle, and they were cheap. Who wanted to watch a bad team? So, on a Saturday (11/9, I still have the ticket stubs), my mother took me to watch the Knicks lose their 8th straight to the Bulls. 

    I was new to this. My father hated, HATED, sports, so he never talked about anything sports-related. I didn't know the Knicks were a bad team at the time. I also didn't think about the fact that Jordan wasn't playing. I would learn about that later when I saw him destroy the Knicks. He always seemed to destroy the Knicks. Chicago would win this game, but Patrick Ewing, the 1st overall pick, was amazing to watch. He was SO TALL too. Remember, I was 8. I also thought that Gerald Wilkins was the coolest at the time. 

    As the years went on, I would learn the heartbreak of being a Knicks fan as my oldest sister and I would go to games and until the 90s, we'd rarely see the Knicks win. We'd always hope though. That was the hard part of Knicks fan: there was always hope, and it was almost always dashed. 

    When Bill Cartwright was traded to the Bulls for Charles Oakley, my mother found her favorite player. Until the day she died, she was all about Oak. "I bet he's good to his mom," she would say. She would cheer when he'd knock a player off the court. When we went to a game in 1990, she would cheer the loudest for him. 

    Then the 90s with Riley came. Suddenly the Knicks were...good? We'd still see games where the Bulls would crush them. I cannot express how good Jordan was, and how frustrating as a Knicks fan (and how amazing it was as a basketball fan) to watch him just take over the game. That's why being at the game in '93 when Starks dunked was incredible. It was the loudest I ever heard the Garden, and the loudest I ever heard a sporting event until the Rangers in 1994. 

    The thing about Starks was he was a perfect example of the blue collar underdog Knicks fans see themselves as. Here was a guy who wasn't drafted, played in the CBA (Continental Basketball League. It no longer exists), tried to dunk on Ewing, the star of the team, during his tryout, the team couldn't cut him, and then he proved he should be the starting guard. The Knicks would actually live and die not by Ewing or their other players but by Starks. His cold game in the 1994 Finals would be part of the reason why the Knicks would lose the championship that year. 

    The thing about the 1994 final, however, was OJ. Trying to watch the Knicks in a tiny little corner of a screen as the station was showing Al Cowlings driving. It was so frustrating. My sister and I were like, "Is that Ewing scoring?"

    "No, I think that's Mason."

    Then the announcer, "Greg Anthony with the nice shot." 

    The Knicks would lose that year. Then they'd go to the finals again in '99...and lose. We kept hope, but the dark times were coming. There would be terrible teams with players no one could name. 

    However, they are one game away from winning championship this year. In my lifetime, I've seen the Mets, Yankees, Giants, Islanders, Rangers, and Liberty all win championships, but I've never seen the Knicks win. That could change tonight. If they do win, I can't share that with my mother as she passed in 2020, but I know she'd be so excited about this. I can share it with my sister, though, who even though she is in another country, loves this team. We both still have our orange "BRICK" signs from games we went to together. It's my hope the Knicks do get their championship. If they don't, I'll be sad, but it won't be the end of the world. 

    Go, New York, Go, New York, Go!  

Strangers

As my soon-to-be-ex-wife prepares to move out in a couple days, I've come to the realization that I am living with a complete stranger. Gone is the person who used to talk to me about happenings in the world, about movies, about family, and about life in general. I now stare back at a person whose interests and perspectives make zero sense to me.

Once upon a time, we used to talk about everything...anything. We would talk about my family, her family, her work, our dreams and hopes, and more. Now, we have become the scene from Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. We sit and no one talks. Worse, if we do talk to each other, if we make eye contact, it turns into an awkward silence or into an argument. It makes for an unpleasant house, and it scares the heck out of my kids. That's the worst part: if there were no kids, this wouldn't be so hard. The children have to be thought about when you're ending a marriage. Both their mother and I are guilty of not doing that. We acted poorly.

The first moment I saw her as a stranger came with the death decree of our marriage. I've said it before: this has been a long time coming. We stopped being a team years ago. We worked very well on problems when people needed the Leab Team, but as a marriage, the work ethic was lax. I won't disparage her here, and I won't talk about her failures here yet, but I will say that effort was not made. As I sat in a hotel room chair furious over her behavior, I could see the wheels spinning. Instead of admitting any wrong-doing or introspecting about why her partner was upset, she admitted something we both knew: "I haven't loved you in years." Those words hurt to hear, but also weren't a surprise. Her behavior had already admitted that. And even after my father basically said goodbye to me and began his race to death, here was this woman that didn't ask me if I was ok, but was angry that I expected to be checked in with. Maybe I'm naive, but I always believed (hell, I still do) that if your life partner says, "I am in crisis right now....Please help me," you, as their partner ask, "How can I help?" When she stopped doing that, I knew we were in trouble. Her responses became, "You're an adult. Get over it."

Since the day she admitted she didn't love me, I have seen actions that made no sense. Toxic interactions between two people in flux. A lack of emotions that many people around us find puzzling. One friend told me she is going to crash, and that I have to be ready to help the kids when she does. Part of me wants to make sure that doesn't happen, but part of me also says, "This stranger is not worth being saved. She wouldn't help me, so why should I?" I hate feeling that bitter. Hate it. Yes, using the very strong word here.

As I watch this shell of my former best friend and confidant move through the world, I become angry at myself that I ever trusted her. And that's where Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind resonates with me even more. I have memories of this person I fell in love with once upon a time, but that person is long dead and gone. And to be fair, the person she fell in love with is also long dead and gone. As a friend of mine once asked me: "Think long and hard about who you think you are now. Would YOU want to come home to that?"

My soon-to-be-ex-wife is not a person I want to come home to anymore. For the last few years, I have found that my kids and I function better and feel better without her around. I would place good money she feels the same. The hard part is that I want her to be reasonable and hear me, but she can't. She absolutely can't hear me because that would mean getting in touch with emotions that I think frighten her right now. There's a great line in one of my all-time favorite movies: The Cutting Edge. 

"I keep thinking...If I just keep moving and checking...I'll get clear."

I truly believe that's where she is right now. If she runs and keeps moving, she'll be fine. My fear is that eventually the emotions will catch up to her, and she'll crumble. God help my kids if she does.


So now what? Now I move on. I rebuild with a person who cares about me emotionally and wants me in her life. A person who will let me love her. I also have to learn who this new person is that is caring for my children part of the time. I don't have to like this person, but I have to learn to trust her with the two most important people in my life.

I mean, look at them...how do you not love them?

So what is my point? My point, dear reader, is that people we love or loved will change. Sometimes they will go from bonded to complete stranger hanging at the fringes of your life. Know that it can happen. Know that you will lose someone very important to you, but that you can survive and bounce back. I am...so I know you can too. 

Namaste.

Tidying Up a Bit

Ok, I haven't been taking care of this blog much. So, dear reader, I could use a little help. Who should I link to now? Who do you care to read about that maybe others who stop through here want to read?

Give me some ideas, please.

The Untethered Dad

Life...changes. That's not anything that you, dear reader, don't already know, but it is fascinating to me how it changes and why.

This year, 2016, has been one of the worst of my life. So much has happened that has pushed me down. Over the last few months, the following has happened:

My father is dying
My marriage is ending
My job was cut

As I sit here trying to figure out how to write about this, I feel like I'm drifting away. I have become untethered in space, grasping at anything to keep me. I know, I KNOW, this feeling is wrong. I'm not alone, and I'm not without a safety line, but at first, when it all piles up, it feels that way.

So, let's address each of my issues, shall we?

My job was cut.

In looking at the last few years of my life, this is not anything surprising. I don't talk about it much, but in conversing with a new colleague yesterday, I realized that since 2013, I have had 5 jobs. I left the first because of issues. I mourned that job. I believed it was everything, and it was like a part of me died leaving it. Even harder, I thought the people I worked with would miss me and try to contact me. When they didn't, I took it so personally and let it cut me deep.
The next 3 were all one and done due to budget cuts. I really liked my CIS class at Andover. In my career, those classes may have been the best I ever taught from both my abilities and my students. Yet, as I experience my kids getting older, I realize that my best friend is right: it's a job. It makes money. It is NOT my life. It's part of my life, but it is not the reason I live. When I left my first teaching job, I would have disagreed with her, but now I see she is right.
The current one is just starting, and while I'm nervous, I'm hopeful it will work for a while. However, I'm a teacher with a Master's Degree and now 12 full years of experience. More and more I'm hearing that I am too expensive, so I won't get interviewed. This past summer, from June through August, I applied for around 400 jobs, both in and out of the education field. 400. In that time, I had exactly 10 interviews. That's 2.5%. It's very discouraging.
However, I'm very lucky. I found another job. It might lead to something...or it might not.


My father is dying.

Alzheimer's and old age are a terrible combination. The person does know where he or she is and doesn't understand why he or she is they way they are. This past week was my parents' 52nd wedding anniversary (more on that later). My father couldn't remember the date. Why would he? Growing up, my father was always an absent-minded professor...literally. He couldn't tell you the day's date, but he could tell you who was at the Magna Carta signing and why it was important. Now, there are days he doesn't remember I have kids...or at one point that I had graduated college. Now, my father and I have a very...difficult relationship. However, watching your father go from the most powerful man in the world to a mewling kitten is very hard. His balance is gone. His strength and fire are gone. As he prepares to turn 80, the man who told me stories about surviving the Holocaust has been replaced by the man who tells me how hard it is to walk 20 feet. His color has changed. Slowly, over the last few years, he has stopped being...himself. The shell left is going quickly and will soon be gone. This will be the first major death in my children's lives, and I will have a lot to explain.
I spent years being angry at this man for how he treated me instead of understanding why he treated me the way he did. In taking a step back and seeing how hurt and broken my father is, I learned that he did the best he could. It wasn't honestly great, but he tried, and he taught me how to raise my kids by showing me what not to do.

My marriage is ending.

THIS has been a long time coming. My marriage of 15, almost 16 years, is ending. My wife is moving out soon. It has been...a long time coming. It's very hard to write those words, but it's true. We have two beautiful children, but those children need to see what love and happiness look like, but the last few years of our marriage have not been that...at all. I wish I could say it is all her fault, but that's not how it works. It's both of us. That doesn't make the toxic nature of our end any better, mind you. Without really going into details (as I really can't yet), the major issues were cliche: lack of communication, lack of trust, and lack of trying. I am more upset for my children than myself. If you have been through divorce as a child, then you know how hard it can be. My daughter constantly asks if I am going to stop loving her the way her mom and I have stopped loving each other. No matter how much we tell her we won't, she struggles. My son, on the other hand, has shut his feelings down so he won't be upset. The internal struggle he has breaks my heart, because I am aware that it is partially my fault.
Here's the thing: they will be fine eventually. I will be too...and so will their mother. I think she'll be ok. She has shut down and shut others out, so it's hard to know. I mentioned my parents' anniversary earlier. 52 years. When I got married, I honestly thought that 50 years later, my soon-to-be-ex wife and I would be dancing to our song. I pictured us as that couple who holds hands as one of them dies...only to have the other die a few minutes later out of sadness. It's a beautiful and wonderful dream, but to make it true is a whole different beast.

I will not comment on where my wife failed just yet, however, I know where I failed. I built rules of what love and marriage are and held fast to them too tightly. When she didn't follow those rules, I got angry. I didn't introspect...not until it was too late and the marriage was already dead...we just didn't know it yet. I would expect her to respond in a certain way, and when she didn't, I got mad. I didn't look at why she responded the way she did, I just got mad. So what were these rules?

1. If your partner says I love you, you acknowledge it.
2. You give your partner as much love and time as they give you.
3. You demonstrate your love to your partner.
4. If your partner is struggling, you help them overcome that struggle and you fight for them.
5. You can fight with your partner, but you have to make sure get to a point you can reconcile.
6. Your partner is the number 1 person in your life.

By holding her to these rules, I doomed our relationship. Again, I want to be clear: I am in NO WAY saying all of the breakdown of my marriage is my fault. It is certainly not. I am just saying that I am aware of where *I* went wrong. There are many things that my wife, soon to be ex, did and is still doing wrong.

The key thing is a very big cliche: Relationships only last if both people do the work. I love the Beatles lyric "and in the end, the love you take is equal to the love you make." You get back what you put in. To me, that's the truth. If you both work hard on loving each other, it will go well. If one of you falters, the whole machine breaks. One person cannot carry the load of love and marriage alone...and honestly, nor should they.

The thing about divorce, someone dying, losing your job, or any trauma is that it forces you to hold up a mirror and ask why do you feel this way? What are you going to do about it? I look at my reactions, and I see how I contributed. It means I will come out the other side a better person. For me, for the people I love, and for my kids. I hope my kids' mother will eventually introspect and look at who she is and why this marriage failed. She is so closed right now...and it's both sad and maddening.

I also hope that you, dear reader, are able to really look at yourself and understand why you feel the way you do. I believe that better things are coming for me. Right now, life feels hard and there is a part of me that wants to just crawl under the covers and hide the way I did when I thought a monster was in my closet (It was just my sister being a little drunk, but that's a story for another time). I know I can't. I have two amazing children who need their dad to be on the ball, to be a good father. In time, they will come to see that I can love and be loved. They will come to see that I can be more than just their dad, and that was another failing of mine: I spent years being their dad and caring for them more than myself. They are the top of the rope I am grabbing on to pull myself back to Earth. Tether achieved...so now to add weight and be here now.

So, dear reader, I will be writing more. I will be talking about where I am going next and how I am. You may be interested in my stories...or you may not, but they'll be here. So will I.

Namaste.

Maulrats; or I Found a Killer Deal: A Fiasco Playset

Dude! Welcome to the Shoppes of the USA. The Largest and most visited collection of theatres,
restaurants, stores, hotels, and casinos, and all under one roof! Sometimes you find a great deal, and
every once in a while, you find a killer. So, strap on that fanny pack, mall walker; wipe down that
table, food court worker; and check those cameras, security guard, because tonight, there will be…
A FIASCO!

Going to the Pictures
Dawn of the Dead (1979), Police Story (1985), Mallrats (1995), Jackie Brown (1997), Paul Blart: Mall Cop (2009)

Curl Up with a Book
Catherine O’Flynn: What Was Lost
Michael Galinsky: Malls Across America
SL Grey: The Mall

Real Life Inspiration
The Mall of America (Bloomington, MN)
The Palisades Center (Nyack, NY)

CREDITS
Written by Marcus Leab under a Creative Commons (CC BY 2.0) license.

BOILERPLATE
This playset is an accessory for the Fiasco role-playing game by Bully Pulpit Games.
This playset is copyright 2016 by Marcus Leab.
Fiasco is copyright 2009 by Jason Morningstar. All rights are reserved.
For more information about Fiasco or to download other playsets and materials, visit www.bullypulpitgames.com


Relationships                                                                  Needs
1. Family                                                                        1. To Get Out
    1 Parent/ Child                                                                1 … of This Job
    2 Aunt/Uncle & Niece/Nephew                           2 … of This Relationship
    3 Siblings                                                                          3 … of This Gang/Group/Crew
    4 Happy/ Estranged Couple                                           4 … of The House
    5 Fake Family/ Cover                                                      5 … of This Family
    6 Cousins (Kissing or not)                                              6 … of This Psychotic State
2. Romantic                                                                     2. To Get Even/Survive
    1 Stalker/ Obsession                                                        1 … with Her/ Him
    2 Spouses                                                                           2 … with Parents/ Kids
    3 Lovers                                                                              3 … with Rival Stores/Theatres/
                                                                                                     Casinos/Restaurants/Hotels
    4 Hated exes or are they?                                                 4 … Black Friday
    5 Once upon a time….                                                     5 … Layoffs/ Store Closings
    6 It is forbidden!                                                                6 … Natural Disaster/Fire/
                                                                                                          Zombie Apocalypse
3. Criminal/ Law Enforcement                                        3. To Get Rich/ Gain
    1 Security Guard                                                                  1 … Freedom
    2 Bank Robber                                                                     2 … The Store/ Theatre/ Casino/
                                                                                                         Restaurant/ Hotel
    3 Mob Boss/ Underling                                                      3 … His/ Her Love/ Respect
    4 FBI Informant/ Agent                                                       4 … From Embezzlement/ Robbery
    5 Shoplifter                                                                           5 … From a Fantastic Promotion
    6 Disgraced Ex-Cop Looking for Hope                           6 … From One Lucky Night at the
                                                                                                     Casino
4. Professional/ Work                                                       4. To Prove…
   1 Casino                                                                                 1 …Our Cause is Right/ Their Cause
                                                                                                     is Wrong!
   2 Retail Clerk/ Manager                                                     2 … To Be Manager/ Leadership      
      Material
   3 Kiosk Clerk/ Manager                                                     3 … Our Gang/ Group/ Crew is the best
   4 Food Court Worker/ Manager                                         4 … This Place Sucks/ Rocks!
   5 Movie Theatre                                                                   5 … Love is Real!
   6 Hotel Clerk/ Manager                                                       6 … The Store/ Restaurant/ Theatre is
                                                                                                              the Best/Worst!
5. Embarrassing/ Trouble                                                 5. To Win Back…/ Get Some Answers…
   1 Rival Gangs/ Schools                                                      1 … His/ Her Heart
   2 Rival Stores                                                                     2 … His/ Her Respect
   3 Rivals for Same Love                                                      3 … Your/ His/ Her Job
   4 Bored Teenagers                                                              4 … About Their Plans
   5 Loving Parent/ Difficult Child                                         5 … About The Money
   6 Cop/ Thief                                                                        6 … About Yourself/ Them
6. Controversial/ Outsiders                                              6. To Destroy/ Hide…
   1 Protesters                                                                         1 … Your Rival(s)
   2 Health Inspector                                                              2 … Her/ His Heart/ New Lover
   3 Teens on a Mission                                                          3 … This Place
   4 Rival Casino Owners Looking to Do Harm                    4 … Your Past (Good or Bad)
   5 Tourists                                                                            5 … Your Allegiances/ Connections
   6 Surly Customer/ Clerk at Frustrating                              6 … Your Money
      Swedish Furniture Emporium

Locations                                                                          Objects
1. 1st Floor                                                                       1. Quotidian (Every Day Items)
    1 Needful Things Kiosk                                                   1 Soda Cup from Food Court
    2 Jed’s Roadkill Café                                                       2 A Flyer/ Coupon
    3 The Square Rotunda                                                      3 Makeup
    4 Loose Bricks Sink Ships                                               4 Bottle of Siracha
    5 Wasted Fish Taqueria                                                    5 Sunglasses
    6 Kids Pop Boutique                                                        6 A Baseball Cap
2. 2nd Floor                                                                      2. Weapons
    1 Bottom of the Sea Bookstore                                        1 A Knife
    2 Grandma Mabel’s Fried Chicken                                  2 A Sawed-Off Shotgun
    3 Cockadoodle Do Eat Our Chicken Restaurant             3 A Bomb/ Bombs
    4 Back of Santa’s Sleigh Toy Store                                 4 A Bottle of Poison
    5 The Missing Piece Puzzle Store                                   5 A Silenced 9mm Pistol
    6 Fine Licker Sex Shop                                                   6 A Broken Beer Bottle
3. 3rd Floor                                                                       3. Illegal
    1 Rear Window Camera Repair and Sales                       1 Fake Casino Chips
    2 Yubechaoui Bank                                                          2 Money Plates
    3 Forever Size 21                                                             3 A Briefcase with Cocaine
    4 Gills, Gills, Gills Fish Shop                                          4 Knockoff Toy/ Clothes
    5 CT Yankee Food Court                                                 5 Plans to the Casino
    6 The Gilded Ascot                                                          6 Keys to the Mall
4. Hotel                                                                             4. Expensive
    1 The Hotel                                                                       1 Rare Bottle of Scotch
    2 The Dining Room/ Kitchen                                           2 Tommy Falcon’s First Skateboard
    3 Room 403                                                                      3 A Rare 1st Edition by
                                                                                                “What’s His Name.”
    4 Suite 617                                                                       4 The Last of the Holiday’s Hottest Toy
    5 Presidential Suite 3                                                       5 Presidential Suite Key
    6 The Conference Room                                                  6 This Month’s Payroll
5. Casino                                                                           5. Nostalgic
    1 The Floor                                                                       1 A Picture from Youth
    2 VIP Area                                                                        2 A Letter from a Lost Lover/ Priest
    3 Manager’s Office                                                           3 The First Dollar Made
    4 The Vault                                                                       4 A Baby’s Toy/Blanket
    5 The Kitchen                                                                   5 A Ring
    6 The Ballroom/ Stage                                                      6 A Yearbook
6. Outside the Mall                                                            6. WTF?
    1 Frustrating Swedish Furniture Emporium                     1 A Box of Frozen Chicken Wings
    2 Mom and/or Dad’s House                                              2 A Defective Product from Frustrating
                                                                                                 Swedish Furniture….
    3 Military Base/ Federal Building                                    3 Thirty Boxes of Straws?
    4 The Curb                                                                        4 A Beta Fish
    5 The Airport                                                                    5 An Incomplete Bank Slip

    6 The Pump and Gulp                                                      6 A Bullhorn Covered in Bumper Stickers

Irish Eyes Are Dying: A Fiasco Playset

Irish Eyes Are Dying

Slainte, and welcome to Ireland, Feens and Bures.

Times are tough here in Dublin. The Great Potato Famine, the Civil War, and now the First Great War have taken the sons and daughters of St. Patrick. England still calls for her taxes and arseways the country. There’s also the matter of the new “family” from the new world and now here.

Grab your scoops, be sound, and gander over the green.

If you’re lucky, you’ll survive this Fiasco!

Going to the Pictures

Irish Destiny (1925), The Quiet Man (1952), The Snapper (1993), Michael Collins (1996), Waking Ned Devine (1998)

Curl Up with a Book

W.B. Yeats: Cathleen bi Houlihan, The Winding Stair
James Joyce: Ulysses
Liam O'Flaherty: "The Sniper"
Patrick Pearse: The Collected Works

CREDITS

Written by Marcus Leab under a Creative Commons (CC BY 2.0) license.

BOILERPLATE

This playset is an accessory for the Fiasco role-playing game by Bully Pulpit Games.

This playset is copyright 2015 by Marcus Leab.

Fiasco is copyright 2009 by Jason Morningstar. All rights are reserved.

For more information about Fiasco or to download other playsets and materials, visit www.bullypulpitgames.com

Relationships                                                           Needs

1. Family                                                                                   1. To Get Out

            1 Mother/ Father & Child                                                                      1 …of Dublin/ Ireland

               2 Aunt/Uncle & Niece/Nephew                                                             2 … of Your Obligations

               3 Siblings                                                                                                         3 … of the family

               4 Happy/ Estranged Couple                                                                           4 … of Your Church/Vows

               5 Fake Family                                                                                                 5 … of Your Regiment

               6 Cousins                                                                                                         6 … of the Irish Mafia

             

           2. Work                                                                                     2. To Survive

              1 Potato Farmer                                                                                             1 … The Potato Blight

              2 Whiskey Distiller                                                                                          2 … The Irish Civil War

              3 Doctor / Veterinarian                                                                                  3 … Your Family’s Shame

              4 Writer/ Poet                                                                                                4 … Your Church’s Destruction

              5 Priest/ Minister                                                                                            5 … The First World War

              6 Pub Owner/ Bartender                                                                                6 … The Mob’s Hold on You

           3. Trouble                                                                                  3.  To Get Respect

            1. Loving Parent/ Difficult Child                                                                         1. … From the British

              2.  Love Affair between English & Irish                                                       2. … From the Irish

              3. Rival Distillers/ Brewers/ Farmers                                                                   3. … From your Family

              4.  Rivals for Same Love                                                                                       4. … From your Boss

              5. Rival Soldiers                                                                                                    5. … From your Regiment

              6. Rival Religious Leaders (Priest/ Minister)                                                          6. … From God/ Religious Leader

            4. Romance                                                                                4. To Gain

              1. Spouses                                                                                                           1. …Freedom

              2. Priest/ Altar Boy                                                                                             2. … The Farm/ Bar/ Distillery

              3. Lovers                                                                                                              3. … A Higher Rank

              4. Once Upon a Time…                                                                                      4. … God’s Approval

              5. Reunited Lovers                                                                                               5. … His/Her Love

              6. Stalker & Obsession                                                                                  6. … A Higher Position in the Clergy

             5. Military                                                                                   5. To Get Some Answers

               1. Republican Army                                                                                           1. … About Yourself

                   2. Free-Stater Army                                                                                           2. … About What Happened to the Farm

                   3. Deserter                                                                                                         3. … About Why He/She Left

                   4. English/ Irish Spy                                                                                          4. … About God’s/ Your Boss’s Plan for You

                   5. Objector                                                                                                         5. … About the Money

                   6. Ready to Kill Bismarck                                                                                   6. … About the Secret Recipe

              6. Government/ Crime                                                                 6. To Hide

           1. Diplomat                                                                                                          1. … Your Shameful Past

              2. Secret Police & Informant                                                                         2. … Your Feelings

              3. Bureaucrat                                                                                                         3. … Your Allegiances

              4. Secretarial Pool                                                                                                 4. … Your Connection to the Mob

              5. Mob Boss & Underling                                                                              5. … Your Religious Beliefs

              6. Pickpocket & Fence                                                                                   6. … Your Money

Locations                                                              Objects
1. Dublin                                                                          1. Religious

          1.A Rooftop                                                                                              1. Staff of St. Patrick

              2. The Four Courts                                                                                    2. The Book of Kells

              3. St. James Gate Brewery                                                                          3. Sarcophagus from Tomb of Cormac

              4. St. Patrick’s Cathedral                                                                             4. The Blarney Stone

              5. Trinity College Dublin                                                                            5. The Preserved Heart of St. O’Toole

              6. Kilmainham Gaol                                                                                   6. The Lady of Dublin Statue

           2. Around Ireland                                                                2. Weapons

           1. Galway                                                                                                       1. A Cache of British Rifles

             2.  Cashel                                                                                                        2. A Box of Dynamite

             3. Donegal                                                                                                      3. A Broken Hoe

             4. The Cliffs of Moher                                                                                    4. A Bottle of Guinness Lager

             5. A Farm in Cork                                                                                          5. Antique Dueling Pistols

             6. Killarney                                                                                                     6.A Gallóglaigh Sword
           
           3. On the Run                                                                      3. Sentimental

           1. On a Boat in St. George’s Channel                                                              1. A Soldier’s Diary

              2. In a Methodist Church in Cookstown                                                        2. A Wedding Ring

              3. On the Beach in Portugal                                                                           3. A Bible

              4. As a Fisherman in Tramore                                                                        4. A Potato That Survived the Blight

              5. As a Seamstress in Hell’s Kitchen, NY                                                       5. The First Bottle from the Distillery

              6. In a Catholic Church in Monaghan                                                             6. A Letter from a Parent to a Child

             4. Meanwhile in Rest of United Kingdom                              4. Information

           1. Canary Wharf                                                                                               1. A Map to Something Valuable

              2. British East India Company Headquarters                                                   2. A Letter from the Queen/King of England

              3. Buckingham Palace                                                                                      3. A List of Soldiers from a Regiment with Notes

              4. Birmingham                                                                                                 4. A Letter with the Papal Seal

              5. Cardiff, Wales                                                                                              5. A Blueprint of The Four Courts

              6. Edinburgh, Scotland                                                                                    6. A Recipe for an Old Whiskey

              5. Over in Europe                                                                 5. Unsavory

           1. Austria-Hungary                                                                                           1. An Aborted Fetus in a Pickle Jar

              2. Netherlands                                                                                                  2. A Picture of a Priest and an Altar Boy

              3. Spain                                                                                                            3. “Big” Bill Dwyer’s Little Black Book

              4. France                                                                                                          4.  A Bloody Soldier’s Knife

              5. Portugal                                                                                                        5. Orders to Shoot Civilians and Blame Enemy

              6. Italy                                                                                                              6. A Potato Tainted with Blight

              6. The New World                                                                 6. Oddities

              1. New York, New York                                                                          1. A Trunk Filled with Counterfeit British Pounds

              2. Boston, Massachusetts                                                                         2. A Potato Snuck Out of India

              3. Toronto, Canada                                                                                  3. A Bible in Latin with Leviticus Torn Out

              4. Chicago, Illinois                                                                                   4. Falsified Passport

              5. Kansas City, Missouri                                                                          5. An Malnourished Dog Named Francis/Frances

              6. Philadelphia, Pennsylvania                                                                    6. A Bullet with a Name on It