Holy crap.
I'm not even going into this tonight.
Tomorrow you'll get the whole story about PTCs and more.
Overview? Not so good. My school LOVES me.
Yup.
That's all I got tonight.
Let's just say, the anticipation or the build up will be good for you....
Oh, and I'm proud of you, Greta....Yup.
Thursday, March 02, 2006
Wednesday, March 01, 2006
Teachers Never Die...They Just Go To Home Depot.
The school I work at is preparing to perform West Side Story. Not my favorite musical, but not my choice. Moving on....
I am attempting to fix the steps the actors and actresses will be using to get up to the scaffolding (there is a balcony in the show, you know. It's essentially a musical version of Romeo and Juliet).
So, in order to save money, I had to go and pick up the wood. For those of you who have never done it before, it's $59 for any delivery. I was only getting some boards and a sheet of plywood.
So, I start talking to the guy behind the contractor's desk about getting the wood together.
"Where's this going?" he asks.
I tell him the name of my school.
"Oh...what for?"
I tell him about the show.
"So are you a teacher?"
"Yes," I reply.
"What do you teach?"
At this point I start feeling that little pang of frustration you get when a person is bored and trying to learn your life story.
"I'm an English teacher."
"Really? I used to be an English teacher in Farmington."
It's at this point that my jaw must have gone slack, because he next asks me:
"Are you ok?"
"Yeah," I reply. "Just shocked. How did you go from teaching to...uh...here?"
"I got sick of the politics. I loved the kids, but I hated everyone else. There was a day.... A student tried to hit me....I...responded in kind by throwing him up on the wall. I was protecting myself. The principal disagreed. It was crap."
I listened to him for ten minutes talking about all the reasons why he left. I felt like a priest taking confession.
"Let me ask you a question," he said to me finally. I felt like an idiot standing there with all of my lumber.
"Go ahead," I put forward.
"Do you like teaching?"
"Yes. I like working with the kids. Even when I want to put a head through a wall, I would take working with these kids over working with man-children any day."
"That will change."
Such negativity.
He continued.
"I no longer miss the classroom. This (he indicates the store) is easier to deal with on a daily basis."
I start to go.
"I'm not the only one here who's a former teacher."
He indicates three other people standing together.
"Ted and Rhett used to teach in Bloomington. Sheryl (or maybe it was Cheryl, I didn't see her apron) was a teacher in Apple Valley. All three left for the same reason I did. Too much politics, not enough autonomy in the classroom." (The fact he used autonomy shows me he was an English teacher.)
While packing my car with the lumber I had just bought, I started to wonder: "Is this my future?"
Will I end up leaving teaching at some point, disillusioned by everything, and working behind a counter at a home improvement store?
"Light bulbs? Aisle four. Shattered dreams and burnouts? Those of us who work here."
I don't know.
I love teaching.
A colleague of mine always says, "The hardest part of teaching...is the other teachers. Not the students, but your colleagues."
I don't know where I'm going with this, but the shock of talking to the guy at Home Desperate really got me thinking about my future.
PTCs are tomorrow. Huzzah.
Oh, and Greta? Congrats. Yahk-ob (as I call him) is a nice boy.
Namaste.
I am attempting to fix the steps the actors and actresses will be using to get up to the scaffolding (there is a balcony in the show, you know. It's essentially a musical version of Romeo and Juliet).
So, in order to save money, I had to go and pick up the wood. For those of you who have never done it before, it's $59 for any delivery. I was only getting some boards and a sheet of plywood.
So, I start talking to the guy behind the contractor's desk about getting the wood together.
"Where's this going?" he asks.
I tell him the name of my school.
"Oh...what for?"
I tell him about the show.
"So are you a teacher?"
"Yes," I reply.
"What do you teach?"
At this point I start feeling that little pang of frustration you get when a person is bored and trying to learn your life story.
"I'm an English teacher."
"Really? I used to be an English teacher in Farmington."
It's at this point that my jaw must have gone slack, because he next asks me:
"Are you ok?"
"Yeah," I reply. "Just shocked. How did you go from teaching to...uh...here?"
"I got sick of the politics. I loved the kids, but I hated everyone else. There was a day.... A student tried to hit me....I...responded in kind by throwing him up on the wall. I was protecting myself. The principal disagreed. It was crap."
I listened to him for ten minutes talking about all the reasons why he left. I felt like a priest taking confession.
"Let me ask you a question," he said to me finally. I felt like an idiot standing there with all of my lumber.
"Go ahead," I put forward.
"Do you like teaching?"
"Yes. I like working with the kids. Even when I want to put a head through a wall, I would take working with these kids over working with man-children any day."
"That will change."
Such negativity.
He continued.
"I no longer miss the classroom. This (he indicates the store) is easier to deal with on a daily basis."
I start to go.
"I'm not the only one here who's a former teacher."
He indicates three other people standing together.
"Ted and Rhett used to teach in Bloomington. Sheryl (or maybe it was Cheryl, I didn't see her apron) was a teacher in Apple Valley. All three left for the same reason I did. Too much politics, not enough autonomy in the classroom." (The fact he used autonomy shows me he was an English teacher.)
While packing my car with the lumber I had just bought, I started to wonder: "Is this my future?"
Will I end up leaving teaching at some point, disillusioned by everything, and working behind a counter at a home improvement store?
"Light bulbs? Aisle four. Shattered dreams and burnouts? Those of us who work here."
I don't know.
I love teaching.
A colleague of mine always says, "The hardest part of teaching...is the other teachers. Not the students, but your colleagues."
I don't know where I'm going with this, but the shock of talking to the guy at Home Desperate really got me thinking about my future.
PTCs are tomorrow. Huzzah.
Oh, and Greta? Congrats. Yahk-ob (as I call him) is a nice boy.
Namaste.
Tuesday, February 28, 2006
Different Day, Same Problem
PTCs are on Thursday night. For those not in the know, those are Parent/Teacher Conferences. These are lovely little meetings that usually go in only a few different ways:
1. The parent does not show (More often then not, this is the case).
2. The parent sees the high grade and praises the student.
3. The parent sees the low grade and blames the teacher.
4. The parent sees the grade and begins yelling at the student AND the teacher (happens more often than you think).
5. The parent feigns interest and then hits on the teacher.
I'm not going to lie to you. I do not like PTC time. I have over a hundred some-odd students in my classes. So, how many parents do you think are signed up to meet with me?
Anyone?
Anyone?
Bueller?
8.
That's right, 8.
Now, here's the other part of it:
Inevitably, you will have to see the parents of students who DON'T need it.
In my case, 7 out of the 8 students whose parents have signed up have between an A and a B. That means that 1 parent of a student not getting a high grade is coming (that student is getting a C).
Will parents not signed up come? Some might, but I can tell you this already:
I will be sitting at my little table for over an hour with not a single student or parent coming by to see me.
Why is it that the kids who REALLY need to have their parents there never get it? Why is it when you call a parent about it, they freak out?
I don't think I have ever partaken in PTCs without some sort of drama.
While I was student teaching, my supervising teacher sat next to me. He was teaching one of the classes (I couldn't yet as it was an advanced IB class), but the parent never looked at him once. They kept their eyes and asked their questions to me.
Another time I had a parent ask me if I was available to "get a drink." I just said, "I'm sorry, when this is over, I need to get home to my WIFE." Good times.
It's no wonder that the average teacher's lifespan is ten years shorter than the national average.
8 students signed up, and only one really needing to have parents there.
It almost makes me feel useless.
1. The parent does not show (More often then not, this is the case).
2. The parent sees the high grade and praises the student.
3. The parent sees the low grade and blames the teacher.
4. The parent sees the grade and begins yelling at the student AND the teacher (happens more often than you think).
5. The parent feigns interest and then hits on the teacher.
I'm not going to lie to you. I do not like PTC time. I have over a hundred some-odd students in my classes. So, how many parents do you think are signed up to meet with me?
Anyone?
Anyone?
Bueller?
8.
That's right, 8.
Now, here's the other part of it:
Inevitably, you will have to see the parents of students who DON'T need it.
In my case, 7 out of the 8 students whose parents have signed up have between an A and a B. That means that 1 parent of a student not getting a high grade is coming (that student is getting a C).
Will parents not signed up come? Some might, but I can tell you this already:
I will be sitting at my little table for over an hour with not a single student or parent coming by to see me.
Why is it that the kids who REALLY need to have their parents there never get it? Why is it when you call a parent about it, they freak out?
I don't think I have ever partaken in PTCs without some sort of drama.
While I was student teaching, my supervising teacher sat next to me. He was teaching one of the classes (I couldn't yet as it was an advanced IB class), but the parent never looked at him once. They kept their eyes and asked their questions to me.
Another time I had a parent ask me if I was available to "get a drink." I just said, "I'm sorry, when this is over, I need to get home to my WIFE." Good times.
It's no wonder that the average teacher's lifespan is ten years shorter than the national average.
8 students signed up, and only one really needing to have parents there.
It almost makes me feel useless.
Monday, February 27, 2006
Mail Mondays (02/27/06)
Tomorrow is the last day of February. You know what the means, folks? It's almost Spring. That's right, earlier sunrises, warmer temps, and puppy love (damn Freshmen).
On another note, we have parent/teacher conferences on Thursday night. Already? Really, Virginia? Damn...that seems quick.
Well, let's get to the mail.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Leab,
How dare you insult the men and women of the United States Olympic team! How dare you rail against the United States! You call Americans selfish, yet at least these men and women are representing their country. What have you ever done?
If you didn't feel the Olympic Spirit, that's because you don't understand the American Way, not because the athletes didn't.
Angry American Man
Dear AAM,
The "What have you ever done?" questions seems to be the big one being mailed to me. Have I ever been an Olympic representative for this country? No.
Look, there were positive stories at this Olympics as well as negative ones (just wait for Bud Greenspan's next Sixteen Days of Glory doc), but let's be honest, the negative outweighed the positive. Sasha Cohen won the silver, which is amazing, but she also stumbled from the gold.
Joey Cheek won gold and silver medals and donated his money, but then we have Shani Davis and Chad Hedrick acting like idiots.
We had Lindsey Jacobellis fall just inches from winning the gold, and when asked about it, she lied at first about trying to be a hot dog. On the flipside, we had Lindsey Kildow who took a horrendous fall, but came back to at least try.
Don't even get me started on the Men's Hockey team. They were embarrassing. There's no saving grace there.
Americans are selfish. The Italian who won the final medal dedicated it to his sister and talked about sharing it with his team and his countrymen.
The Americans? Well, they talked endoresements. They talked about using the medal to pick up chicks. Period.
Yes, it was the best showing outside for medals outside of the United States, but so what? Will you remember that Joey Cheek won gold, or will you remember the bickering and the failures? Whose name comes to your mind first: Bode Miller or Julia Mancuso?
If you mentioned Miller, then you remember the blustering and the failure.
If you mentioned Mancuso, you're probably not telling the truth.
Am I cynical? Oh hell yeah. For the Europeans, the Olympics are given a Super Bowl like atmosphere. I remember being in London during the '84 Olympics. Daley Thompson, the British decathlete was cheered for by EVERYONE. It was like a fever. Even though the games were in Los Angeles, I bet most people cannot name the American decathlete who competed against him.
We don't get that way here. It's the same thing with the World Cup. Millions upon millions tuned in to watch the brackets being drawn. It would be like every single person in America tuning in to see the NCAA Tournament Brackets being made. Not going to happen folks.
If I seem selfish, I'm not sorry. This isn't me being selfish, it's me calling it like I see it, and it isn't positive.
The bottom line: the American Way no longer really exists. It used be about determination, responsibility, and understanding. All three of those are missing now.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Leab,
Why is that "certain parts" of your blog are now missing?
Citizen X
X,
I have no comment.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Leab,
What's your take on the lotto winners?
A reader in Nebraska
Nebraska,
Wow, you must be bored if you're reading me in Nebraska.
Umm, well. I wish them luck. I heard that somewhere around 70% of the people who win the lottery go on to be bankrupt or have incredibly difficult lives. There's a reason that the saying goes, "Money is the root of all evil." The green-eyed monster usually rears its head around the Benjamins, as it were.
There was a woman who won the lottery here in Minnesota. Now she's in jail.
The guy who won in, where was it, Arkansas, lost a ton of money, and his granddaughter died.
Look, most people win the money and don't realize they're in a higher tax bracket. They then spend the money like crazy and when tax time comes around, they're in trouble.
The best thing you can do if you win the lottery (and this is if you win a bunch of money) is get a good lawyer and a financial advisor before coming forward. Seriously. I know if I ever win, that's what I'm doing.
However, I don't think I ever will win. Why? Well, beyond the astronomical odds, I don't play the lottery. It's almost like flushing money. It's a form of gambling with worse odds than Blackjack. I'd rather save my cash and keep working. Why? Well, if I stopped working, I would probably go insane.
So there you go. That's my take on the lottery winners. I wish them the best of luck and hope they're smart.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
So that's it for mail tonight. I hope you're all doing well.
Oh, and Greta...you have only 26 hours left to do your thing.
Best of luck.
Namaste.
On another note, we have parent/teacher conferences on Thursday night. Already? Really, Virginia? Damn...that seems quick.
Well, let's get to the mail.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Leab,
How dare you insult the men and women of the United States Olympic team! How dare you rail against the United States! You call Americans selfish, yet at least these men and women are representing their country. What have you ever done?
If you didn't feel the Olympic Spirit, that's because you don't understand the American Way, not because the athletes didn't.
Angry American Man
Dear AAM,
The "What have you ever done?" questions seems to be the big one being mailed to me. Have I ever been an Olympic representative for this country? No.
Look, there were positive stories at this Olympics as well as negative ones (just wait for Bud Greenspan's next Sixteen Days of Glory doc), but let's be honest, the negative outweighed the positive. Sasha Cohen won the silver, which is amazing, but she also stumbled from the gold.
Joey Cheek won gold and silver medals and donated his money, but then we have Shani Davis and Chad Hedrick acting like idiots.
We had Lindsey Jacobellis fall just inches from winning the gold, and when asked about it, she lied at first about trying to be a hot dog. On the flipside, we had Lindsey Kildow who took a horrendous fall, but came back to at least try.
Don't even get me started on the Men's Hockey team. They were embarrassing. There's no saving grace there.
Americans are selfish. The Italian who won the final medal dedicated it to his sister and talked about sharing it with his team and his countrymen.
The Americans? Well, they talked endoresements. They talked about using the medal to pick up chicks. Period.
Yes, it was the best showing outside for medals outside of the United States, but so what? Will you remember that Joey Cheek won gold, or will you remember the bickering and the failures? Whose name comes to your mind first: Bode Miller or Julia Mancuso?
If you mentioned Miller, then you remember the blustering and the failure.
If you mentioned Mancuso, you're probably not telling the truth.
Am I cynical? Oh hell yeah. For the Europeans, the Olympics are given a Super Bowl like atmosphere. I remember being in London during the '84 Olympics. Daley Thompson, the British decathlete was cheered for by EVERYONE. It was like a fever. Even though the games were in Los Angeles, I bet most people cannot name the American decathlete who competed against him.
We don't get that way here. It's the same thing with the World Cup. Millions upon millions tuned in to watch the brackets being drawn. It would be like every single person in America tuning in to see the NCAA Tournament Brackets being made. Not going to happen folks.
If I seem selfish, I'm not sorry. This isn't me being selfish, it's me calling it like I see it, and it isn't positive.
The bottom line: the American Way no longer really exists. It used be about determination, responsibility, and understanding. All three of those are missing now.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Leab,
Why is that "certain parts" of your blog are now missing?
Citizen X
X,
I have no comment.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Leab,
What's your take on the lotto winners?
A reader in Nebraska
Nebraska,
Wow, you must be bored if you're reading me in Nebraska.
Umm, well. I wish them luck. I heard that somewhere around 70% of the people who win the lottery go on to be bankrupt or have incredibly difficult lives. There's a reason that the saying goes, "Money is the root of all evil." The green-eyed monster usually rears its head around the Benjamins, as it were.
There was a woman who won the lottery here in Minnesota. Now she's in jail.
The guy who won in, where was it, Arkansas, lost a ton of money, and his granddaughter died.
Look, most people win the money and don't realize they're in a higher tax bracket. They then spend the money like crazy and when tax time comes around, they're in trouble.
The best thing you can do if you win the lottery (and this is if you win a bunch of money) is get a good lawyer and a financial advisor before coming forward. Seriously. I know if I ever win, that's what I'm doing.
However, I don't think I ever will win. Why? Well, beyond the astronomical odds, I don't play the lottery. It's almost like flushing money. It's a form of gambling with worse odds than Blackjack. I'd rather save my cash and keep working. Why? Well, if I stopped working, I would probably go insane.
So there you go. That's my take on the lottery winners. I wish them the best of luck and hope they're smart.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
So that's it for mail tonight. I hope you're all doing well.
Oh, and Greta...you have only 26 hours left to do your thing.
Best of luck.
Namaste.
Sunday, February 26, 2006
Ramblings for the Evening (02/26/06)
So here I sit having finished my grading...more or less. There are some parts of my classes that I cannot add until after tomorrow (luckily grades are due on Tuesday).
With my wife out of town again (let me tell you something...it's a lonesome old town when she's not around), I'm just sitting here, having a glass of wine (If you MUST know, it's a Fieldstone Merlot), listening to some calming music (Songs of the Auvergne), and writing.
There's slim pickings tonight as I had to shun the outside world in order to get my students' grades together (yes, I did have everything together in my gradebook, but I had to get it all online).
So, without further ado: SKIIINNNNEER!
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Random Sightings:
Ok, my wife made me relax on Friday night, and we watched a few of the television shows that we recorded during the week (I do not want to use Tivo as a verb because the CEO of the company says he doesn't want it used that way). One show that we watch is 24. Is it as good as when it first started? No, but it's still great at making me bite my nails...occasionally. So, we're watching the show, but of course fast-forwarding through the commercials, when we see John McCain. That's right, Senator John McCain had a walk-on role on 24. His role? A lowly intern who delivers papers to another character. It's a blink and he's gone role.
This is a double-edged sword, as it were. On the one hand, it's kind of cool to see McCain. I really did say (out loud, I must admit), "Holy Hannah, that's John McCain." Then, I hit the rewind button (DVR...very cool). Now, the problem here, however, is that I found myself wondering, "how the hell does he have the TIME to go and do this?" Whenever I see someone in politics on a show or in a movie, I wonder when they find the time. Maybe I'm just naive about how politics works, but aren't these men and women on call almost 24/7/365? James Carville, who is supposed to be helping the Democrats win back some power, seems to have the time to appear in numerous films. Jesse Ventura, while governor of Minnesota, seemed to find time to work as a referee and film a few films. I could go on and on. Still, it was cool to see McCain.
Other sightings?
-Random as it may be, I ran into a girl I went to college with over the weekend. I'm at Home Depot buying some paint (I need to re-paint the guest room of my house) and I get hit from behind with a cart. It seems the driver was not paying attention. As I turn to begin a verbal lashing, I pause because this person seems REALLY familiar. Turns out she is. We had a few classes together in college. After a few "oh my, you seem familiar...oh sure we were in these classes together" moments, she tells me all about her life since college. It was not a happy story. Divorce, restraining orders, having to move twice because psycho ex-husband wants the kids...etc, etc. I feel bad just hearing this stuff. Why? Because my life is not so crazy. There were a few moments of guilt on my part, but I managed to quash them.
-A former student of mine accidentally walked into my class looking for another teacher. It was great to see her. She's currently in college and told me I really helped her. I needed that. The only downside? I allowed my freshman class to talk to her about questions they might have, and instead of asking about what they need to do to be successful, they asked about the "crackin' parties." (This from a little white boy). Another kid attempted to hit on her (Again, he's a freshman in high school....She's a freshman in college. Major differences in maturity). All I can say is que idioto. Still, it was great to see her, and she made my day.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The Camera Crew:
I was unable to go and join the crew Margaret put together to point and shoot around town. My wife and I were indisposed at the time. A buddy of mine, however, said he saw them at the Basilica (I think he's full of it, but he SWEARS he saw them. He's also slightly stalking Margaret, but that's another story...which reminds me...where's my bat?) during their break. If I could have, I really think I would have dressed up as a homeless guy, waited across from the Starbucks, and taken some more photos for Slander A La Leab. (I mean, I could always use MORE legal trouble, right?)
Spring will come, they'll do it again. Then I can go.
and finally,
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The Olympics End:
Does anyone really care? Seriously.
What happened? When I was a kid, I used to LOVE watching the Olympics. There was something almost magical about it. These people were our emissaries, the very representation of what was supposed to make our country so great. Now? Not so much. If you go by these Olympics, then our country looks quite stupid. We get Bode Miller. A man who shoots his mouth off about skiing drunk, has a ton of Nike commercials talking about how great he is, then he does NOTHING. Not a single medal.
We get Lindsey Jacobellis who shows off at the finish line...and FALLS DOWN. She finishes second.
We get Shani Davis and Chad Hedrick. Teammates who openly and publicly feud with each other. Never mind that you represent the UNITED States of America. Never mind that you are on the same team. No, you can bitch and use the media. That's the American way!
And, my favorite, you get the American hockey team playing badly, then blaming it on everyone else but themselves. Mike Modano, a staple of the team, blamed it on the fact that the players' families were taken care of very well. Huh?
Look, once upon a time, it was an honor to be chosen as an Olympian. It was huge. Yet, it really seems that this year's athletes carried more about their possible endorsements instead of actually showing why they are the pride of America.
Was everyone this way? No. Look at Joey Cheek who donated his medal bonus to charity. That's great.
Except for his stupid feud, Shani Davis did something never seen before in Olympic history: A black man winning a gold medal in the Winter Olympics. That's huge.
In the end, however, the athletes I mentioned are the perfect representation of our current ways:
We talk big, but are unable to back it up.
We screw up at the last minute by not taking it seriously.
We remain individuals instead of teammates.
We don't take responsibility and blame it on others when we fail.
Maybe I'm being too harsh, but I really feel the spirit like I usually do. In '96, '98, 2000, and even 2002, I was pumped for the Olympics, and I saw these Olympians represent our country with dignity.
I didn't feel it this year.
Then again, what do I know? I'm not an Olympian, and I don't have a medal to use to try and "pick up chicks." I could be wrong.
With my wife out of town again (let me tell you something...it's a lonesome old town when she's not around), I'm just sitting here, having a glass of wine (If you MUST know, it's a Fieldstone Merlot), listening to some calming music (Songs of the Auvergne), and writing.
There's slim pickings tonight as I had to shun the outside world in order to get my students' grades together (yes, I did have everything together in my gradebook, but I had to get it all online).
So, without further ado: SKIIINNNNEER!
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Random Sightings:
Ok, my wife made me relax on Friday night, and we watched a few of the television shows that we recorded during the week (I do not want to use Tivo as a verb because the CEO of the company says he doesn't want it used that way). One show that we watch is 24. Is it as good as when it first started? No, but it's still great at making me bite my nails...occasionally. So, we're watching the show, but of course fast-forwarding through the commercials, when we see John McCain. That's right, Senator John McCain had a walk-on role on 24. His role? A lowly intern who delivers papers to another character. It's a blink and he's gone role.
This is a double-edged sword, as it were. On the one hand, it's kind of cool to see McCain. I really did say (out loud, I must admit), "Holy Hannah, that's John McCain." Then, I hit the rewind button (DVR...very cool). Now, the problem here, however, is that I found myself wondering, "how the hell does he have the TIME to go and do this?" Whenever I see someone in politics on a show or in a movie, I wonder when they find the time. Maybe I'm just naive about how politics works, but aren't these men and women on call almost 24/7/365? James Carville, who is supposed to be helping the Democrats win back some power, seems to have the time to appear in numerous films. Jesse Ventura, while governor of Minnesota, seemed to find time to work as a referee and film a few films. I could go on and on. Still, it was cool to see McCain.
Other sightings?
-Random as it may be, I ran into a girl I went to college with over the weekend. I'm at Home Depot buying some paint (I need to re-paint the guest room of my house) and I get hit from behind with a cart. It seems the driver was not paying attention. As I turn to begin a verbal lashing, I pause because this person seems REALLY familiar. Turns out she is. We had a few classes together in college. After a few "oh my, you seem familiar...oh sure we were in these classes together" moments, she tells me all about her life since college. It was not a happy story. Divorce, restraining orders, having to move twice because psycho ex-husband wants the kids...etc, etc. I feel bad just hearing this stuff. Why? Because my life is not so crazy. There were a few moments of guilt on my part, but I managed to quash them.
-A former student of mine accidentally walked into my class looking for another teacher. It was great to see her. She's currently in college and told me I really helped her. I needed that. The only downside? I allowed my freshman class to talk to her about questions they might have, and instead of asking about what they need to do to be successful, they asked about the "crackin' parties." (This from a little white boy). Another kid attempted to hit on her (Again, he's a freshman in high school....She's a freshman in college. Major differences in maturity). All I can say is que idioto. Still, it was great to see her, and she made my day.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The Camera Crew:
I was unable to go and join the crew Margaret put together to point and shoot around town. My wife and I were indisposed at the time. A buddy of mine, however, said he saw them at the Basilica (I think he's full of it, but he SWEARS he saw them. He's also slightly stalking Margaret, but that's another story...which reminds me...where's my bat?) during their break. If I could have, I really think I would have dressed up as a homeless guy, waited across from the Starbucks, and taken some more photos for Slander A La Leab. (I mean, I could always use MORE legal trouble, right?)
Spring will come, they'll do it again. Then I can go.
and finally,
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The Olympics End:
Does anyone really care? Seriously.
What happened? When I was a kid, I used to LOVE watching the Olympics. There was something almost magical about it. These people were our emissaries, the very representation of what was supposed to make our country so great. Now? Not so much. If you go by these Olympics, then our country looks quite stupid. We get Bode Miller. A man who shoots his mouth off about skiing drunk, has a ton of Nike commercials talking about how great he is, then he does NOTHING. Not a single medal.
We get Lindsey Jacobellis who shows off at the finish line...and FALLS DOWN. She finishes second.
We get Shani Davis and Chad Hedrick. Teammates who openly and publicly feud with each other. Never mind that you represent the UNITED States of America. Never mind that you are on the same team. No, you can bitch and use the media. That's the American way!
And, my favorite, you get the American hockey team playing badly, then blaming it on everyone else but themselves. Mike Modano, a staple of the team, blamed it on the fact that the players' families were taken care of very well. Huh?
Look, once upon a time, it was an honor to be chosen as an Olympian. It was huge. Yet, it really seems that this year's athletes carried more about their possible endorsements instead of actually showing why they are the pride of America.
Was everyone this way? No. Look at Joey Cheek who donated his medal bonus to charity. That's great.
Except for his stupid feud, Shani Davis did something never seen before in Olympic history: A black man winning a gold medal in the Winter Olympics. That's huge.
In the end, however, the athletes I mentioned are the perfect representation of our current ways:
We talk big, but are unable to back it up.
We screw up at the last minute by not taking it seriously.
We remain individuals instead of teammates.
We don't take responsibility and blame it on others when we fail.
Maybe I'm being too harsh, but I really feel the spirit like I usually do. In '96, '98, 2000, and even 2002, I was pumped for the Olympics, and I saw these Olympians represent our country with dignity.
I didn't feel it this year.
Then again, what do I know? I'm not an Olympian, and I don't have a medal to use to try and "pick up chicks." I could be wrong.
Wednesday, February 22, 2006
Ramblings for the Evening (02/22/06)
My grades are due when? Already? How can it be mid-quarter ALL READY?!
Sigh.
So, where do we stand right now? Two productions coming up, impossible demands being made, one idiot teacher trying to live up to those demands (guesses on a name, folks?), and one district cutting funds which could be trouble for non-tenured teachers (you know, like me).
Let's get to the ramblings.
So, without further ado: ROSEBUD!
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Lost Weekend:
Now, I have proof that my wife does not read my blog. As you'll recall (or not), I purchased a massage for my wife for Valentine's Day. Now, I told you, dear reader, and I told my wife she would get a surprise on Saturday, but I did not tell her what. That was to be her Saturday morning.
So, even though it was the weekend, and even though we could have slept in late, my wife and I arose around 7:30. That's right: we got up early on a Saturday (THE HORROR!!!!) and made our way to downtown Minneapolis.
You may recall that it was cold that day (around -7, but who's looking?) and many people decided to stay indoors (off the top of my head, almost all of you). After depositing my wife at Litespa (the Foshay tower location), I started walking the city. Now, I'm crazy, but I'm not stupid. I started outside, but eventually, as my nasal passages froze over making me breath like a Baldwin brother, I went inside and made like a hamster (or the skyway for those of you who are from Minnesota). Those of you who have never really walked the skyway are missing out. It's not the fact that you feel like a hamster or a gerbil (oh, Lemmiwinks), but the fact that you can actually see society via the skyway.
For example, there was a girl dressed to be trendy. Basically, jeans with tears EVERYWHERE. Instead of going inside, she walked up Nicollet avenue in the cold. Was it so important to look good and freeze?
Other examples:
-I stopped at the Caribou Coffee in Gavidae Common and tried to answer the question for 10 cents off (I'm cheap). "What is the most dangerous neighborhood in Minneapolis?" I was unaware that it was Phillips (I thought it was Camden). When I answered, the four lawyers around me started arguing about what determines a neighborhood is dangerous. Let me tell you: It's always funny when lawyer says, "I object to your notion," when plainly speaking. Shows they've been on the job too long.
-Watching a woman desperately try to keep me from getting on the elevator with her. As I walked up, she was slamming on the close door button over and over again. When I got my arm in and got in, she frowned. "Sorry I held you up," I forwarded. Another frown. Was she afraid of me or did she just not like the look of me?
After retrieving my wife (she was happy), I began working on my house again. I love my shack. Ok, it's not shack...moving on. I had a room to paint (it's now yellow), fix some furniture, and clean, clean, clean.
After that, the weekend is a haze. It feels like it was a million years ago (not a few days). That's the power of work. It takes over your life.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Movie Theater Changes:
Ok, there's a bright idea out there (excuse me if your screen is now dripping with sarcasm) for getting more people to go to the movies.
Ready?
Ok, it's in multiple parts:
1. Ticket prices will depend on how well a movie is doing. So, films like the Lord of the Rings trilogy will stay at full price, but Deuce Bigalow 3 will drop in price when no one goes to see it. The worse a film is doing, the cheaper it will become.
2. You will be able to pay more to reserve seats. You want that center seat? Pay 12 dollars instead of 9 and it's yours. The downside? If you show up early and sit there, then someone reserves it, you'll have to move.
3. It will be cheaper to reserve tickets ahead of time then buying them at the box office. As a colleague of mine pointed out today, "So everyone now has a credit card?"
4. Popcorn and soda will be sold only in combos. Why? That one makes NO sense. I seriously don't get it.
5. Cell phone jammers will be installed in theaters. Now this is one I agree with in principle. I love that kids won't be able to text and call each other, but there needs to be a way to contact help in cases of emergency.
Look, my wife put it best. "Movie theaters have a simple business practice. The movies come in, we pay to watch them, the end. So, if they start changing practices and trying to become something they aren't, the business will fail."
It's sad but true.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
That's all I got for tonight.
More tomorrow.
Peace be unto you.
Sigh.
So, where do we stand right now? Two productions coming up, impossible demands being made, one idiot teacher trying to live up to those demands (guesses on a name, folks?), and one district cutting funds which could be trouble for non-tenured teachers (you know, like me).
Let's get to the ramblings.
So, without further ado: ROSEBUD!
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Lost Weekend:
Now, I have proof that my wife does not read my blog. As you'll recall (or not), I purchased a massage for my wife for Valentine's Day. Now, I told you, dear reader, and I told my wife she would get a surprise on Saturday, but I did not tell her what. That was to be her Saturday morning.
So, even though it was the weekend, and even though we could have slept in late, my wife and I arose around 7:30. That's right: we got up early on a Saturday (THE HORROR!!!!) and made our way to downtown Minneapolis.
You may recall that it was cold that day (around -7, but who's looking?) and many people decided to stay indoors (off the top of my head, almost all of you). After depositing my wife at Litespa (the Foshay tower location), I started walking the city. Now, I'm crazy, but I'm not stupid. I started outside, but eventually, as my nasal passages froze over making me breath like a Baldwin brother, I went inside and made like a hamster (or the skyway for those of you who are from Minnesota). Those of you who have never really walked the skyway are missing out. It's not the fact that you feel like a hamster or a gerbil (oh, Lemmiwinks), but the fact that you can actually see society via the skyway.
For example, there was a girl dressed to be trendy. Basically, jeans with tears EVERYWHERE. Instead of going inside, she walked up Nicollet avenue in the cold. Was it so important to look good and freeze?
Other examples:
-I stopped at the Caribou Coffee in Gavidae Common and tried to answer the question for 10 cents off (I'm cheap). "What is the most dangerous neighborhood in Minneapolis?" I was unaware that it was Phillips (I thought it was Camden). When I answered, the four lawyers around me started arguing about what determines a neighborhood is dangerous. Let me tell you: It's always funny when lawyer says, "I object to your notion," when plainly speaking. Shows they've been on the job too long.
-Watching a woman desperately try to keep me from getting on the elevator with her. As I walked up, she was slamming on the close door button over and over again. When I got my arm in and got in, she frowned. "Sorry I held you up," I forwarded. Another frown. Was she afraid of me or did she just not like the look of me?
After retrieving my wife (she was happy), I began working on my house again. I love my shack. Ok, it's not shack...moving on. I had a room to paint (it's now yellow), fix some furniture, and clean, clean, clean.
After that, the weekend is a haze. It feels like it was a million years ago (not a few days). That's the power of work. It takes over your life.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Movie Theater Changes:
Ok, there's a bright idea out there (excuse me if your screen is now dripping with sarcasm) for getting more people to go to the movies.
Ready?
Ok, it's in multiple parts:
1. Ticket prices will depend on how well a movie is doing. So, films like the Lord of the Rings trilogy will stay at full price, but Deuce Bigalow 3 will drop in price when no one goes to see it. The worse a film is doing, the cheaper it will become.
2. You will be able to pay more to reserve seats. You want that center seat? Pay 12 dollars instead of 9 and it's yours. The downside? If you show up early and sit there, then someone reserves it, you'll have to move.
3. It will be cheaper to reserve tickets ahead of time then buying them at the box office. As a colleague of mine pointed out today, "So everyone now has a credit card?"
4. Popcorn and soda will be sold only in combos. Why? That one makes NO sense. I seriously don't get it.
5. Cell phone jammers will be installed in theaters. Now this is one I agree with in principle. I love that kids won't be able to text and call each other, but there needs to be a way to contact help in cases of emergency.
Look, my wife put it best. "Movie theaters have a simple business practice. The movies come in, we pay to watch them, the end. So, if they start changing practices and trying to become something they aren't, the business will fail."
It's sad but true.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
That's all I got for tonight.
More tomorrow.
Peace be unto you.
Monday, February 20, 2006
El Dio de los Presidentes
Evening folks.
There's no mail this week. I mean there is mail, but most of it is either hatemail (which gets boring after a while) or questions about where certain aspects of my blog have gone (which I will not be talking about anymore...nuff said).
So, because I had no school today and because my wife did not have to be at work, we both relaxed today (which was hard).
I'll talk about my lost weekend tomorrow during ramblings. Tonight, I'm going to have a glass of wine, finish painting one of the bedrooms, get my tests together, and go to bed.
Boring? Yup.
Do I care? Nope.
I hope all is well with you, dear reader.
Here's some cats to make the day, uh, bright. Unless you're allergic...in which case...uh...sorry.
There's no mail this week. I mean there is mail, but most of it is either hatemail (which gets boring after a while) or questions about where certain aspects of my blog have gone (which I will not be talking about anymore...nuff said).
So, because I had no school today and because my wife did not have to be at work, we both relaxed today (which was hard).
I'll talk about my lost weekend tomorrow during ramblings. Tonight, I'm going to have a glass of wine, finish painting one of the bedrooms, get my tests together, and go to bed.
Boring? Yup.
Do I care? Nope.
I hope all is well with you, dear reader.
Here's some cats to make the day, uh, bright. Unless you're allergic...in which case...uh...sorry.
Thursday, February 16, 2006
Big Favor
I'm trying to be nice.
I'm tired. It's been a long week (with the only real sunshine being the visiting lecturer to a colleague's film study class).
Now, my blog has changed...and it may change again.
See if you can find those changes.
Imagine you get a letter. After a long time, a person contacts you out of the blue and asks for a favor...a large favor. One that requires you to make three and a half hours worth of changes.
Essentially, this person needed me to do something for them, and I had no choice but to capitulate and do the deed.
Am I happy about it? No.
Do I like the way it was presented to me? No.
Would I like a favor back? Yes, but will I get it? No.
The key to life is being able to adapt. No adapting, you die.
I'm trying to adapt.
And yes, I meant what I wrote yesterday: I do read those blogs (and more) daily. Reading is the greatest way to expand your mind.
That's all I got tonight. I really don't want to go to court.
Until tomorrow,
namaste.
I'm tired. It's been a long week (with the only real sunshine being the visiting lecturer to a colleague's film study class).
Now, my blog has changed...and it may change again.
See if you can find those changes.
Imagine you get a letter. After a long time, a person contacts you out of the blue and asks for a favor...a large favor. One that requires you to make three and a half hours worth of changes.
Essentially, this person needed me to do something for them, and I had no choice but to capitulate and do the deed.
Am I happy about it? No.
Do I like the way it was presented to me? No.
Would I like a favor back? Yes, but will I get it? No.
The key to life is being able to adapt. No adapting, you die.
I'm trying to adapt.
And yes, I meant what I wrote yesterday: I do read those blogs (and more) daily. Reading is the greatest way to expand your mind.
That's all I got tonight. I really don't want to go to court.
Until tomorrow,
namaste.
Wednesday, February 15, 2006
Fun with Lists (Part Five) 2/15/06
It's spirit week at my school. Woohoo....
Don't get me wrong, it's great and all. The students get really into it, but...well, I lose class time for a pep fest, for showcase, and more. It's annoying. I may have to move a test now.
I'm not whining. There were some great moments today. I love the crew I'm working with on West Side Story. They're predominantly freshman and super excited. I told them we would be painting and building next week, and they FLIPPED with joy. It's kind of cool to see. I still hate the show, but that's neither here nor there.
Today, instead of a story or ramblings, I present another fun list about me. You know they make you laugh/think/cringe/insert verb here.
Enjoy.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Four jobs I've had:
1. Teacher
2. Document clerk/paralegal
3. Electrician/props master/stage manager
4. Movie theater usher (that was an interesting time).
Five movies I can watch over and over again:
I have to choose only five?
1. Blade Runner
2. Dickie Roberts: Former Child Star (I can't believe I'm admitting that).
3. Defending Your Life
4. Memento
5. (My list, I can add one more): Emperor's New Groove (I like a kid's movie...get over it).
Four places I've lived:
1. Minnesota (Robbinsdale and Brooklyn Center)
2. St. Louis, Missouri
3. Michigan (Bloomfield Hills and Monroe)
4. Connecticut/ New York
Four TV shows I love:
1. Arrested Development (Possibly the greatest show ever.)
2. Batman, the Animated Series (I really loved that cartoon.)
3. 24
4. Scrubs (though I also love the Office.)
Four places I've vacationed:
1. Heiligendamm and other parts, Germany
2. Sonoma and San Francisco, California
3. London, England
4. St. Lucia
Four of my favorite dishes:
1. Swiss Chicken with Rice Pilaf and Broccoli
2. Filet of Sole with Lemon Butter and Carrots
3. The Fries at Cafe Lurcat
4. Maple Mustard BBQ Pork Chops with Butternut Squash
Four sites I visit daily:
1. Admin Worm
2. DeRusha
3. Michele
4. Margaret
(5. Avocado, MN Speak, IMDB)
Four books I've read and loved:
1. Carter Beats the Devil by Glen David Gold
2. The Life of Pi by Yann Martel
3. Animal Farm by George Orwell
4. The Inferno by Dante Alighieri (I like strange books, I know. It's hard to limit to four, folks.)
Four places I would rather be right now:
1. The Great Barrier Reef, Australia
2. St. Lucia
3. New York
4. Wherever my wife is.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
There you go, folks. Enjoy. Thanks to Miss Cado for the idea.
Have a good night folks.
Until tomorrow,
namaste.
Oh, and watch out people, tomorrow is Thursday...and Steve has given me some great ideas for what to with certain readers.
Don't get me wrong, it's great and all. The students get really into it, but...well, I lose class time for a pep fest, for showcase, and more. It's annoying. I may have to move a test now.
I'm not whining. There were some great moments today. I love the crew I'm working with on West Side Story. They're predominantly freshman and super excited. I told them we would be painting and building next week, and they FLIPPED with joy. It's kind of cool to see. I still hate the show, but that's neither here nor there.
Today, instead of a story or ramblings, I present another fun list about me. You know they make you laugh/think/cringe/insert verb here.
Enjoy.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Four jobs I've had:
1. Teacher
2. Document clerk/paralegal
3. Electrician/props master/stage manager
4. Movie theater usher (that was an interesting time).
Five movies I can watch over and over again:
I have to choose only five?
1. Blade Runner
2. Dickie Roberts: Former Child Star (I can't believe I'm admitting that).
3. Defending Your Life
4. Memento
5. (My list, I can add one more): Emperor's New Groove (I like a kid's movie...get over it).
Four places I've lived:
1. Minnesota (Robbinsdale and Brooklyn Center)
2. St. Louis, Missouri
3. Michigan (Bloomfield Hills and Monroe)
4. Connecticut/ New York
Four TV shows I love:
1. Arrested Development (Possibly the greatest show ever.)
2. Batman, the Animated Series (I really loved that cartoon.)
3. 24
4. Scrubs (though I also love the Office.)
Four places I've vacationed:
1. Heiligendamm and other parts, Germany
2. Sonoma and San Francisco, California
3. London, England
4. St. Lucia
Four of my favorite dishes:
1. Swiss Chicken with Rice Pilaf and Broccoli
2. Filet of Sole with Lemon Butter and Carrots
3. The Fries at Cafe Lurcat
4. Maple Mustard BBQ Pork Chops with Butternut Squash
Four sites I visit daily:
1. Admin Worm
2. DeRusha
3. Michele
4. Margaret
(5. Avocado, MN Speak, IMDB)
Four books I've read and loved:
1. Carter Beats the Devil by Glen David Gold
2. The Life of Pi by Yann Martel
3. Animal Farm by George Orwell
4. The Inferno by Dante Alighieri (I like strange books, I know. It's hard to limit to four, folks.)
Four places I would rather be right now:
1. The Great Barrier Reef, Australia
2. St. Lucia
3. New York
4. Wherever my wife is.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
There you go, folks. Enjoy. Thanks to Miss Cado for the idea.
Have a good night folks.
Until tomorrow,
namaste.
Oh, and watch out people, tomorrow is Thursday...and Steve has given me some great ideas for what to with certain readers.
Tuesday, February 14, 2006
Valentine's Day Pass
Well, boys and girls, it's Valentine's Day.
It's the day when boys and girls fret over whether or not they got chocolate...or flowers...or whatever.
Why does it have to be only one day a year? I'm not bitter, folks, I just don't like how much the day has become commercialized. The price of a bouquet of roses goes up by almost 40% this time of year. Sure, it's supply and demand, but it's kind of frustrating.
My wife and I made a deal this year: We wouldn't get anything for each other, and we wouldn't do anything. Why? We're both very busy. I'm not even sure when she's getting home tonight.
Did I listen? No. Now I was unable to sneak flowers into her office like previous years, but I did get her a gift: an 80 minute massage at Litespa. (Am I afraid she's going to see this? No. She doesn't read the ole blog.) She needs it, so it becomes a great gift. Did I buy chocolates or flowers? No.
And yet, my students are convinced I am bitter. Why? Well I didn't wear red today (I wore brown. It's what was clean), I didn't give out any valentines (Are teachers supposed to do that?), and I made fun of a simile given to one of the students (It read: "Your eyes are like chocolate. I want to dive in and eat them." That would be cannibalism, boys and girls).
So, I'm done for the day. I have a test to write and sets to design....Oh and I'm still waiting for Steve to send me some pictures....I'm going to burn for that one.
May you have a fantastic Valentine's Day regardless of your marital or dating status.
Namaste.
It's the day when boys and girls fret over whether or not they got chocolate...or flowers...or whatever.
Why does it have to be only one day a year? I'm not bitter, folks, I just don't like how much the day has become commercialized. The price of a bouquet of roses goes up by almost 40% this time of year. Sure, it's supply and demand, but it's kind of frustrating.
My wife and I made a deal this year: We wouldn't get anything for each other, and we wouldn't do anything. Why? We're both very busy. I'm not even sure when she's getting home tonight.
Did I listen? No. Now I was unable to sneak flowers into her office like previous years, but I did get her a gift: an 80 minute massage at Litespa. (Am I afraid she's going to see this? No. She doesn't read the ole blog.) She needs it, so it becomes a great gift. Did I buy chocolates or flowers? No.
And yet, my students are convinced I am bitter. Why? Well I didn't wear red today (I wore brown. It's what was clean), I didn't give out any valentines (Are teachers supposed to do that?), and I made fun of a simile given to one of the students (It read: "Your eyes are like chocolate. I want to dive in and eat them." That would be cannibalism, boys and girls).
So, I'm done for the day. I have a test to write and sets to design....Oh and I'm still waiting for Steve to send me some pictures....I'm going to burn for that one.
May you have a fantastic Valentine's Day regardless of your marital or dating status.
Namaste.
Monday, February 13, 2006
Mail Mondays (02/13/06)
Ah, the night before Valentine's Day. I once read, and I have no idea if it's true, that VD is the third largest time of suicide in America (after Christmas and Thanksgiving). What a strange tidbit. Well, that's just how things go I guess. I'm tired. Very tired. My classes are tough this semester. I'll get there, but it's tough.
I've been getting many people looking for the backwards Jingle Bells deal I posted a while ago. (It's here if you must see it.)
Let's get to the mail:
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Most of it was strange this week.
Leab,
What's with ripping on your fellow bloggers?
Was it really for "links to your blog" like DeRusha said?
That's not cool.
A Fellow Blogger
AFB,
No, no, no, NO! It was NOT to get more links or traffic or whatever. I think DeRusha was kidding (you were, right Jason?), but I'm not sure. Look. They say that press of any kind is good, right? Well, I just sort of...slandered the people I read the most (though I neglected a few people in order to use them in round 2....Yes, Virginia, I am a bastard).
Did Sopheava respond? Sure, she even had a post about it. Did DeRusha say something? Sure. Did Girl Friday say anything? No. Why? Well, probably because she didn't see it. And if she did...uh...I'm not funny.
Look, I did it because I figured they could take a joke (they can) and it would be funny (I guess it was...I don't know. I have a hard time deciding if I'm funny. Long story).
If you laughed, sweet. If not, sorry.
That being said: Steve. If you ever read this. I need another...good picture of Margaret.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Leab,
What's the story with the "giant pain of driving home" on Thursday?
You tease...but don't deliver.
COME ON!!!!
EF
EF,
Wow. A little passionate.
Ok, so, as you know, it snowed on Thursday. I left the school I work at in St. Paul a little after 2:30. Usually, it only takes about 30 minutes to get home (traffic, stop lights, and such). It took me over an hour. People seemed unable to deal with snow on the roads. OOOOOHHH, let's drive 10 miles per hour in between two lanes because we have no freaking clue what a lane could be. Do we suddenly forget HOW to drive because we can only see the lane lines twenty feet instead of every foot? Sigh.
To the point.
As I drove up Hwy 100, I was passed by a brand new red Ford Mustang doing at least 65 (I was going 55 due to the snow and the guy in front of me). Right as the car passed the guy in front of me, he swerved and spun out. As the car traveled across three lanes, everyone panicked (except me...I'm a freak). The Mustang finished its spin right into the side wall. Too bad, because it was pretty. Anyway. About ten minutes pass. I'm still on 100 (again, people in front of me can't find the lane) when I hear that familiar purr. The Mustang, now dented in the front, shoots by me AGAIN. That's right, the guy driving hasn't learned his lesson the first time. He shoots by me and is unprepared for a car to switch lanes. He hits his brakes...and spins out again, but this time it's in the middle of the highway. The car in front of me slammed into the Mustang and gave it a second dent. I managed to slow down and move lanes without a problem (that's what happens when you don't drive like a maniac).
It's amazing to me that some people just cannot and will not learn after the first mistake. It's like touching a hot stove. Oww, that's hot. Hmm. I'll touch it again to make sure.
Que idioto.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
That'll be it for tonight. I'm tired, and I have a lot left to do.
Until tomorrow,
namaste.
I've been getting many people looking for the backwards Jingle Bells deal I posted a while ago. (It's here if you must see it.)
Let's get to the mail:
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Most of it was strange this week.
Leab,
What's with ripping on your fellow bloggers?
Was it really for "links to your blog" like DeRusha said?
That's not cool.
A Fellow Blogger
AFB,
No, no, no, NO! It was NOT to get more links or traffic or whatever. I think DeRusha was kidding (you were, right Jason?), but I'm not sure. Look. They say that press of any kind is good, right? Well, I just sort of...slandered the people I read the most (though I neglected a few people in order to use them in round 2....Yes, Virginia, I am a bastard).
Did Sopheava respond? Sure, she even had a post about it. Did DeRusha say something? Sure. Did Girl Friday say anything? No. Why? Well, probably because she didn't see it. And if she did...uh...I'm not funny.
Look, I did it because I figured they could take a joke (they can) and it would be funny (I guess it was...I don't know. I have a hard time deciding if I'm funny. Long story).
If you laughed, sweet. If not, sorry.
That being said: Steve. If you ever read this. I need another...good picture of Margaret.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Leab,
What's the story with the "giant pain of driving home" on Thursday?
You tease...but don't deliver.
COME ON!!!!
EF
EF,
Wow. A little passionate.
Ok, so, as you know, it snowed on Thursday. I left the school I work at in St. Paul a little after 2:30. Usually, it only takes about 30 minutes to get home (traffic, stop lights, and such). It took me over an hour. People seemed unable to deal with snow on the roads. OOOOOHHH, let's drive 10 miles per hour in between two lanes because we have no freaking clue what a lane could be. Do we suddenly forget HOW to drive because we can only see the lane lines twenty feet instead of every foot? Sigh.
To the point.
As I drove up Hwy 100, I was passed by a brand new red Ford Mustang doing at least 65 (I was going 55 due to the snow and the guy in front of me). Right as the car passed the guy in front of me, he swerved and spun out. As the car traveled across three lanes, everyone panicked (except me...I'm a freak). The Mustang finished its spin right into the side wall. Too bad, because it was pretty. Anyway. About ten minutes pass. I'm still on 100 (again, people in front of me can't find the lane) when I hear that familiar purr. The Mustang, now dented in the front, shoots by me AGAIN. That's right, the guy driving hasn't learned his lesson the first time. He shoots by me and is unprepared for a car to switch lanes. He hits his brakes...and spins out again, but this time it's in the middle of the highway. The car in front of me slammed into the Mustang and gave it a second dent. I managed to slow down and move lanes without a problem (that's what happens when you don't drive like a maniac).
It's amazing to me that some people just cannot and will not learn after the first mistake. It's like touching a hot stove. Oww, that's hot. Hmm. I'll touch it again to make sure.
Que idioto.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
That'll be it for tonight. I'm tired, and I have a lot left to do.
Until tomorrow,
namaste.
Thursday, February 09, 2006
Slander a la Leab (02/09/06)
I know. I haven't posted slander in a while. What can I say? Uh...sorry?
Driving home was a giant pain today. That will be a fun story for tomorrow. All I can say is: I thought Minnesotans could actually drive in snow. Sigh.
Let's get to it.
It's time for SLANDERAMA!
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Madden and Michaels: Together Again:
Apparently all the stories about how much Al Michaels hates John Madden were false. Michaels quit his position at ABC/ESPN in order to join Madden at NBC for next year's Sunday night games. Insiders were stumped as to why.
"This man seemed to hate Madden on all accounts," ESPN anchor Dan Patrick said. "He would say to us, 'The man's an idiot. He may have been a great coach, but I can't understand what he's saying most of the time.' In all fairness to Al, John is kind of an idiot. Is that thing taping?"
Patrick wasn't the only one who thought it was weird Michaels quit.
"We LOVE Al," Michael Wilbon, co-host of Pardon the Interruption explained. "He was like everyone's big brother." When asked about Madden, Wilbon merely said, "Uh. He was a great coach. Yup."
So what made Michaels quit his cushy ESPN gig for the NBC booth? Well, former ESPN personality Max Kellerman had an idea: "Isn't it obvious? Michaels loves his 'Big Poppa Bear'.... Big time."
That's right. Rumors are that Michaels and the former Raiders coach from Austin, Minnesota are romantically linked.
In the era of Brokeback Mountain, no one is really surprised.
"I'll give you a list of the ways you can tell," new analyst (and former pro quarterback) Joe Theismann said.
"Look:
1. Madden added a bedroom to his bus...and only Michaels is allowed in there.
2. On his list of what to have in the booth, Madden used to have a two-liter of Shasta and a jumbo bucket of buffalo wings. On his list turned into NBC, he added baby oil, a blanket, and pictures of Rock Hudson.
3. Michaels' new outfit for the Sunday night telecast is the outfit formerly worn by the Native American in the Village People. During his press conference, Michaels vehemently defended his choice.
'Look, John loves it. He says it makes me look ten years younger. When John's happy, everyone is happy. Trust me.' It was kind of creepy. I mean Al is wearing a thong. (At this point Theismann dry-heaved.)
4. Al calls John 'Big Poppa Bear.' John always responds by saying he's going to 'root through your (Al's) picnic basket.' How creepy is that?"
Time will tell if this is only speculation. Neither Michaels nor Madden were available for comment.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Local News:
-It seems that local reporter Jason DeRusha may have finally snapped. With a young child at home, an annoying set at work, and the pressure of strange stories and blogging, the WCCO
reporter was almost late filing his story on the St. Paul Skyway riders. Initially, DeRusha blamed his photographer (Joe Mears), but Mears came to Ironic Teachings with the real story.
"Look, Jason's been under a lot of...pressure lately. He's supposed to be Don's boy, but lately Amelia and the others have been after him. Add Seth to that...and it's a volatile situation."
When asked about almost posting late, Mears story took a harsh turn. After checking to make sure DeRusha wasn't around, Mears continued.
"He was stressed...and angry. One of the bikers almost took him out, and it seemed that it wasn't an accident. DeRusha was angry. He was almost frothing at the mouth. He went back to the truck and grabbed a light stand. I thought maybe he was trying to help me setup, but I was wrong. When that biker came around again (sources have learned his name was Phillip Daniels), Jason swung that stand better than any of the Twins did last season. The biker did a full flip in the air before crashing down. When he turned on Jason, he saw someone with which not to mess and bolted. It took four Vicodin to just to calm him down. It was...horrifying."
- Local business woman and popular blogger Alexis McKinnis (better known as Girl Friday) has
become a zombie. Though medical science believes the existence of zombies is impossible, the I.T. crew was able to rescue this photo from her camera (though, sadly, our intern, Sparky, was eaten).
When asked, her neighbor could only tell us, "Look. Alexis was reading the new Stephen King novel Cell and the next thing I know she's dressed like a prom queen and ripping the ears off my dog. You tell me what happened."
We asked resident Zombieologist Laura over at Pile of Sassy (herself in serious trouble over some of her actions against local blog MN Speak) could only tell I.T. "I don't know. I mean ever since Camille Paglia was here, a lot of women have been dead fish...let me tell ya."
On a recent service call (it was once reported by local forthing newsman Jason DeRusha that Alexis would "do anything for $25), McKinnis became annoyed by her client and ripped his throat out. No one came near her as she munched away. "Hopefully we can do something," Laura said. "I mean...it's amazing, but the whole Zombie prom thing? Kind of scary."
-Local blogger Sopheava has a great deal in common with her
new blog template. Ole Ironic Teachings spotted the talented designer at Starbucks and noticed that she is BLINDINGLY white. As the sun poured into the coffee shop, the artist known as Margaret stepped into the light. Our attempt to take her picture was thwarted by the bright light shining off her skin.
Meredith (our new intern) attempted to take the picture, but all she could say was, "My eyes. It BURNS!" The only part of the picture that showed up at all was her hair. Upon seeing us try to take her picture, Margaret stopped and smiled, then used to the sun to taunt us.
"She would step away," Meredith explained, "then step back and flash skin just to hurt us. Why God? WHY?!"
However, I.T. did learn what kind of latte Sopheava usually orders, which can be useful information.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
There you go folks. That'll do it for tonight. I'll probably be in trouble with my fellow bloggers, but I kid, because I care. I freely admit that I borrowed pictures from other websites.
Until tomorrow,
namaste.
Driving home was a giant pain today. That will be a fun story for tomorrow. All I can say is: I thought Minnesotans could actually drive in snow. Sigh.
Let's get to it.
It's time for SLANDERAMA!
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Madden and Michaels: Together Again:Apparently all the stories about how much Al Michaels hates John Madden were false. Michaels quit his position at ABC/ESPN in order to join Madden at NBC for next year's Sunday night games. Insiders were stumped as to why.
"This man seemed to hate Madden on all accounts," ESPN anchor Dan Patrick said. "He would say to us, 'The man's an idiot. He may have been a great coach, but I can't understand what he's saying most of the time.' In all fairness to Al, John is kind of an idiot. Is that thing taping?"
Patrick wasn't the only one who thought it was weird Michaels quit.
"We LOVE Al," Michael Wilbon, co-host of Pardon the Interruption explained. "He was like everyone's big brother." When asked about Madden, Wilbon merely said, "Uh. He was a great coach. Yup."
So what made Michaels quit his cushy ESPN gig for the NBC booth? Well, former ESPN personality Max Kellerman had an idea: "Isn't it obvious? Michaels loves his 'Big Poppa Bear'.... Big time."
That's right. Rumors are that Michaels and the former Raiders coach from Austin, Minnesota are romantically linked.
In the era of Brokeback Mountain, no one is really surprised.
"I'll give you a list of the ways you can tell," new analyst (and former pro quarterback) Joe Theismann said.
"Look:
1. Madden added a bedroom to his bus...and only Michaels is allowed in there.
2. On his list of what to have in the booth, Madden used to have a two-liter of Shasta and a jumbo bucket of buffalo wings. On his list turned into NBC, he added baby oil, a blanket, and pictures of Rock Hudson.
3. Michaels' new outfit for the Sunday night telecast is the outfit formerly worn by the Native American in the Village People. During his press conference, Michaels vehemently defended his choice.'Look, John loves it. He says it makes me look ten years younger. When John's happy, everyone is happy. Trust me.' It was kind of creepy. I mean Al is wearing a thong. (At this point Theismann dry-heaved.)
4. Al calls John 'Big Poppa Bear.' John always responds by saying he's going to 'root through your (Al's) picnic basket.' How creepy is that?"
Time will tell if this is only speculation. Neither Michaels nor Madden were available for comment.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Local News:
-It seems that local reporter Jason DeRusha may have finally snapped. With a young child at home, an annoying set at work, and the pressure of strange stories and blogging, the WCCO
reporter was almost late filing his story on the St. Paul Skyway riders. Initially, DeRusha blamed his photographer (Joe Mears), but Mears came to Ironic Teachings with the real story."Look, Jason's been under a lot of...pressure lately. He's supposed to be Don's boy, but lately Amelia and the others have been after him. Add Seth to that...and it's a volatile situation."
When asked about almost posting late, Mears story took a harsh turn. After checking to make sure DeRusha wasn't around, Mears continued.
"He was stressed...and angry. One of the bikers almost took him out, and it seemed that it wasn't an accident. DeRusha was angry. He was almost frothing at the mouth. He went back to the truck and grabbed a light stand. I thought maybe he was trying to help me setup, but I was wrong. When that biker came around again (sources have learned his name was Phillip Daniels), Jason swung that stand better than any of the Twins did last season. The biker did a full flip in the air before crashing down. When he turned on Jason, he saw someone with which not to mess and bolted. It took four Vicodin to just to calm him down. It was...horrifying."
- Local business woman and popular blogger Alexis McKinnis (better known as Girl Friday) has
become a zombie. Though medical science believes the existence of zombies is impossible, the I.T. crew was able to rescue this photo from her camera (though, sadly, our intern, Sparky, was eaten).When asked, her neighbor could only tell us, "Look. Alexis was reading the new Stephen King novel Cell and the next thing I know she's dressed like a prom queen and ripping the ears off my dog. You tell me what happened."
We asked resident Zombieologist Laura over at Pile of Sassy (herself in serious trouble over some of her actions against local blog MN Speak) could only tell I.T. "I don't know. I mean ever since Camille Paglia was here, a lot of women have been dead fish...let me tell ya."
On a recent service call (it was once reported by local forthing newsman Jason DeRusha that Alexis would "do anything for $25), McKinnis became annoyed by her client and ripped his throat out. No one came near her as she munched away. "Hopefully we can do something," Laura said. "I mean...it's amazing, but the whole Zombie prom thing? Kind of scary."
-Local blogger Sopheava has a great deal in common with her
new blog template. Ole Ironic Teachings spotted the talented designer at Starbucks and noticed that she is BLINDINGLY white. As the sun poured into the coffee shop, the artist known as Margaret stepped into the light. Our attempt to take her picture was thwarted by the bright light shining off her skin. Meredith (our new intern) attempted to take the picture, but all she could say was, "My eyes. It BURNS!" The only part of the picture that showed up at all was her hair. Upon seeing us try to take her picture, Margaret stopped and smiled, then used to the sun to taunt us.
"She would step away," Meredith explained, "then step back and flash skin just to hurt us. Why God? WHY?!"
However, I.T. did learn what kind of latte Sopheava usually orders, which can be useful information.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
There you go folks. That'll do it for tonight. I'll probably be in trouble with my fellow bloggers, but I kid, because I care. I freely admit that I borrowed pictures from other websites.
Until tomorrow,
namaste.
Tuesday, February 07, 2006
The Bright Side
Ok, I got an email (already) telling me that my ramblings were...depressing. I was ordered to talk about the bright side of things.
So here we go:
I don't know why, but I've been getting a lot of traffic from pharyngula.org. I appreciate it. Again, I don't know why, but thanks.
I have some steady readers (which I am thankful for...you all rock).
I am a link on Retroavocado, Michele, Worm, MN Speak, Sopheava, and Slanderous (where the hell are you man?). That's lucky.
No longer am I considered SPAM on Winecast. That deserves an "Oh HELL yeah!"
So there you go.
Now, here's a kitten.
So here we go:
I don't know why, but I've been getting a lot of traffic from pharyngula.org. I appreciate it. Again, I don't know why, but thanks.
I have some steady readers (which I am thankful for...you all rock).
I am a link on Retroavocado, Michele, Worm, MN Speak, Sopheava, and Slanderous (where the hell are you man?). That's lucky.
No longer am I considered SPAM on Winecast. That deserves an "Oh HELL yeah!"
So there you go.
Now, here's a kitten.
Ramblings for the Evening (02/07/06)
Been...so...busy.
Honestly feel like it's been weeks since I've been here. With so much going on in my life, it's so hard to find time to write now. There is another issue, however, but I'll get there.
So without further ado: THIS TOWN NEEDS AN ENEMA!
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Purpose Rethought:
A recent review of my blog has me thinking about my work as a whole. A year ago (ok, in April) I started this blog. It was basically done to organize my thoughts, but also to see if I could make people laugh. So, I went over to check this blog that reviewed me and discovered that it was part of a class. I was the third of three blogs to be looked at by the reviewer.
Still, while I give Jess/JJ props for reviewing my blog, her comments have started me thinking about things.
I found this one a welcome change from the last two blogs I reviewed. The writer of this blog is in fact, a teacher. Known as Leab, this guy blogs about anything and everything on his mind.
This is mostly true. I am a teacher, and I am known as Leab, but I don't write about anything and everything on my mind. I keep many things to myself. Granted, I think JJ is basing this on one visit. There is no mention of Mail Mondays (which has not been done the last two weeks as the mail has been...not so good) or Slander a la Leab. I also make sure to avoid politics mostly.
It follows the common notebook style as the previous two do, yet with no real aim or political agenda. His style is casual and conversational. He makes no attacks, and he creates no place for debate.
The first part is true (look over her other reviews), but I'm not sure about the rest. Do I have no real aim? Sure, the motto of this site is: "Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of the Inane," but do I really have no aim? I write in the attempt to make you all laugh, but also to think. Look at the stories I talk about on a daily basis. It's pointing out the foibles of life and saying, "how did we get here?" At the same time, I examine myself and use my stories as a way to make you either laugh (look at the stupid monkey) or to make you think (that's what happens when you stay in a bad relationship...huh).
To say I make no attacks is also interesting as it means she did not see my earlier work, but no place for debate? Really? You cannot debate any of the things I talk about at all?
That was never my intent, but sometimes we do things we do not mean to do at all.
His latest entry is about another blog. He is in the business of blogging blogs as well, and I see this as a great way to acknowledge your fellow blogger in a kind and respectful way. Not to say the first two blogs I encountered weren't engaging.
I like what everyone has to say. Seriously. Even when what they say is totally outrageous, it gives me insight into who they are and gives me something to write about on a daily basis.
The thing that drew me to him was the way he mixes his own personal ramblings with random tidbits of information. The entry I read from yesterday was about a new equation for the most depressing day of the year, which came out as January 24th. He asked his readers whether or not they were in fact having a bad day. I responded just because the equation turned out to be right in my case.
She was the first, but several people did respond that day. I do ramble but throw information in as I go (it's also my teaching style....)
Another reason why I like this blog is that he is an English teacher from MN. I am partial to the field of English, and therefore anything an English teacher has to say must be interesting.
I sense a smidge of sarcasm. One nitpick note: I'm not from here.
If you want a casual blog experience, check out Leab's blog. Much of the content is easy to swallow, and you might learn something you never though you'd know. I guess that's the point of blogs in general. This is truly a random musing, information sharing blog.
Here is, at least in my head, where things go south. Casual experience? Easy to swallow? Are these usually things you say in a complimentary review? "Jenkins, your work ethic is easy to swallow." Maybe it's just me. I love being called a random musing, but saying it's a casual blog experience makes me feel like my writing is easily read and forgotten.
Do I expect you to take everything I write and say, "Dude, he's SO right," all the time? No. My hope (and I stress HOPE) is that you read what I say and come away sometimes laughing, but mostly coming away thinking, "Hmm. Maybe there is something to that. Maybe our world is strange."
I don't know. I cannot explain it, but the review has made me start thinking about what the hell I have been doing for the last year. I have some steady readers, but mostly I'm the small tapas in a seven-course meal. You want meat? MN Speak is a click away (look at my links, folks). Some nice desert? Go to Sopheava. A nice refreshing drink? The French belle Michele is there. I could go on and on (I read A GREAT DEAL of blogs everyday).
Maybe I'm just being an idiot. I don't know. I just wonder if one year later I have written anything of value. Am I just a casual blogging experience? The greasy diner you only go to when everything else is full?
Maybe I'm just nuts.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The Unfortunate State of Education:
I love being a teacher. I care a great deal about my students (but not that way you sickos). For example, one student burst into tears in front of me today, and I went late to my staff meeting to make sure this student was ok. I haven't seen some of my favorite students in a while, and that kind of saddens me, because these students have so many interesting things to say, and I enjoy talking to them.
That being said, when did it become ok for a student to say to a teacher, "I'm just working for a D." When I was a kid, I would have been killed by my parents if I worked for a D. One semester of college, I got horrible grades (let's just say I hovered around 1.5 for that semester). I was angry at myself. I knew I could do better, and I WANTED to do better. One freshman I talked to the other day told me that a D was passing, and that was what this student wanted: just to pass. Forget getting a B or even an A. Just doing enough to pass is cool. When did this happen? Has it always been this way I just did not notice?
My first class I ever taught was seniors (this was a first semester class) and those kids worked. This was a regular English class (no IB or AP here, folks), but the kids worked to get their grades up. This year's freshmen seem not to care. Many have explained that they will go to school until they turn 16 and then leave (which they can legally do).
Why? Because they believe that school is unnecessary for success. Hey Bill Gates made it. Look at all the rappers and actors and such who never even finished school and became big. Hey, LeBron James is huge, and he skipped college.
Out of the 100-some odd students I have right now, 75% believe the classes they are in are pointless ("Who needs to learn how to identify the theme?"), and cannot help them in any way. 3 out of 4. It's kind of depressing. The one's who want to learn are being surrounded and drowned out by the ones who don't care.
My problem? I feel like those kids not doing well is my fault. If I was a good teacher, they would WANT to learn, but obviously I'm not because they don't care. I need to get over that feeling, but God, it's hard.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
That's all I got tonight, folks. I'm a tired, tired monkey...and I need to grade.
Until tomorrow,
namaste.
Honestly feel like it's been weeks since I've been here. With so much going on in my life, it's so hard to find time to write now. There is another issue, however, but I'll get there.
So without further ado: THIS TOWN NEEDS AN ENEMA!
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Purpose Rethought:
A recent review of my blog has me thinking about my work as a whole. A year ago (ok, in April) I started this blog. It was basically done to organize my thoughts, but also to see if I could make people laugh. So, I went over to check this blog that reviewed me and discovered that it was part of a class. I was the third of three blogs to be looked at by the reviewer.
Still, while I give Jess/JJ props for reviewing my blog, her comments have started me thinking about things.
I found this one a welcome change from the last two blogs I reviewed. The writer of this blog is in fact, a teacher. Known as Leab, this guy blogs about anything and everything on his mind.
This is mostly true. I am a teacher, and I am known as Leab, but I don't write about anything and everything on my mind. I keep many things to myself. Granted, I think JJ is basing this on one visit. There is no mention of Mail Mondays (which has not been done the last two weeks as the mail has been...not so good) or Slander a la Leab. I also make sure to avoid politics mostly.
It follows the common notebook style as the previous two do, yet with no real aim or political agenda. His style is casual and conversational. He makes no attacks, and he creates no place for debate.
The first part is true (look over her other reviews), but I'm not sure about the rest. Do I have no real aim? Sure, the motto of this site is: "Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of the Inane," but do I really have no aim? I write in the attempt to make you all laugh, but also to think. Look at the stories I talk about on a daily basis. It's pointing out the foibles of life and saying, "how did we get here?" At the same time, I examine myself and use my stories as a way to make you either laugh (look at the stupid monkey) or to make you think (that's what happens when you stay in a bad relationship...huh).
To say I make no attacks is also interesting as it means she did not see my earlier work, but no place for debate? Really? You cannot debate any of the things I talk about at all?
That was never my intent, but sometimes we do things we do not mean to do at all.
His latest entry is about another blog. He is in the business of blogging blogs as well, and I see this as a great way to acknowledge your fellow blogger in a kind and respectful way. Not to say the first two blogs I encountered weren't engaging.
I like what everyone has to say. Seriously. Even when what they say is totally outrageous, it gives me insight into who they are and gives me something to write about on a daily basis.
The thing that drew me to him was the way he mixes his own personal ramblings with random tidbits of information. The entry I read from yesterday was about a new equation for the most depressing day of the year, which came out as January 24th. He asked his readers whether or not they were in fact having a bad day. I responded just because the equation turned out to be right in my case.
She was the first, but several people did respond that day. I do ramble but throw information in as I go (it's also my teaching style....)
Another reason why I like this blog is that he is an English teacher from MN. I am partial to the field of English, and therefore anything an English teacher has to say must be interesting.
I sense a smidge of sarcasm. One nitpick note: I'm not from here.
If you want a casual blog experience, check out Leab's blog. Much of the content is easy to swallow, and you might learn something you never though you'd know. I guess that's the point of blogs in general. This is truly a random musing, information sharing blog.
Here is, at least in my head, where things go south. Casual experience? Easy to swallow? Are these usually things you say in a complimentary review? "Jenkins, your work ethic is easy to swallow." Maybe it's just me. I love being called a random musing, but saying it's a casual blog experience makes me feel like my writing is easily read and forgotten.
Do I expect you to take everything I write and say, "Dude, he's SO right," all the time? No. My hope (and I stress HOPE) is that you read what I say and come away sometimes laughing, but mostly coming away thinking, "Hmm. Maybe there is something to that. Maybe our world is strange."
I don't know. I cannot explain it, but the review has made me start thinking about what the hell I have been doing for the last year. I have some steady readers, but mostly I'm the small tapas in a seven-course meal. You want meat? MN Speak is a click away (look at my links, folks). Some nice desert? Go to Sopheava. A nice refreshing drink? The French belle Michele is there. I could go on and on (I read A GREAT DEAL of blogs everyday).
Maybe I'm just being an idiot. I don't know. I just wonder if one year later I have written anything of value. Am I just a casual blogging experience? The greasy diner you only go to when everything else is full?
Maybe I'm just nuts.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The Unfortunate State of Education:
I love being a teacher. I care a great deal about my students (but not that way you sickos). For example, one student burst into tears in front of me today, and I went late to my staff meeting to make sure this student was ok. I haven't seen some of my favorite students in a while, and that kind of saddens me, because these students have so many interesting things to say, and I enjoy talking to them.
That being said, when did it become ok for a student to say to a teacher, "I'm just working for a D." When I was a kid, I would have been killed by my parents if I worked for a D. One semester of college, I got horrible grades (let's just say I hovered around 1.5 for that semester). I was angry at myself. I knew I could do better, and I WANTED to do better. One freshman I talked to the other day told me that a D was passing, and that was what this student wanted: just to pass. Forget getting a B or even an A. Just doing enough to pass is cool. When did this happen? Has it always been this way I just did not notice?
My first class I ever taught was seniors (this was a first semester class) and those kids worked. This was a regular English class (no IB or AP here, folks), but the kids worked to get their grades up. This year's freshmen seem not to care. Many have explained that they will go to school until they turn 16 and then leave (which they can legally do).
Why? Because they believe that school is unnecessary for success. Hey Bill Gates made it. Look at all the rappers and actors and such who never even finished school and became big. Hey, LeBron James is huge, and he skipped college.
Out of the 100-some odd students I have right now, 75% believe the classes they are in are pointless ("Who needs to learn how to identify the theme?"), and cannot help them in any way. 3 out of 4. It's kind of depressing. The one's who want to learn are being surrounded and drowned out by the ones who don't care.
My problem? I feel like those kids not doing well is my fault. If I was a good teacher, they would WANT to learn, but obviously I'm not because they don't care. I need to get over that feeling, but God, it's hard.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
That's all I got tonight, folks. I'm a tired, tired monkey...and I need to grade.
Until tomorrow,
namaste.
Wednesday, February 01, 2006
Ramblings for the Evening (02/01/06)
Oy very, everybody. What a day.
Instead of giving you a story, you get a short ramblings. Come on, you love it.
So, without further ado: WOOOOHOOOO!
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A Fun Link For When Work Is Boring:
This is a lot of fun. At least to me. Go and enjoy.
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Damn Dentists:
Ok, I went to my six month checkup (like a good monkey), which was fine (I have good teeth, apparently), but the overall quality of it was horrendous.
First of all, the dentist's office that I go to has been bought out by a large conglomerate. So, instead of being the friendly neighborhood dentist, they are now part of a chain. The new bosses fired almost everyone I got along with and have new policies that are driving the employees nuts.
Now another aspect of this office is that I am apparently considered a curse to them. You see, every dentist who sees me, quits within six months. When I was there in June, I saw The New Guy. He's already gone. The dentists there are seriously considering not seeing me anymore.
I also have a new hygenist. The previous one (shock of shocks) quit. This one is great, but she talks the entire time and then asks me questions...while the tools are in my mouth.
"Isn't this great weather?"
"Uk huk."
"You're a teacher, right?"
"Yeak."
"Do you have any recommendations for books my son should read?"
Sigh.
The absolute best part, however, came when they had to take new "panoramic x-rays" of my mouth. They have this machine that goes around your head (Look at the picture). As you can see, they lock your head in place and the camera spins around to get the complete shot. Seems simple.
Well, there should be one warning: Do not wear a hooded sweatshirt.
Why do I bring this up?
Ok, I put my head in and the hygenist locks me into place. Everything seems fine. The camera starts to spin. No problems yet. However...as the camera comes around behind me, the edge of it catches the hood on my sweatshirt and continues to spin. The hood is getting pulled and the sweatshirt starts to ride up against my neck. I try to tell the hygenist, "Ummm. It's pulling at my neck and starting to hurt."
"Nonsense," she says. You're fine. The camera is not done moving yet, but my whole neck is starting to lift out of the harness.
"Could you PLEASE not move," she says.
"My...hood...is.....CAUGHT."
When the camera finally stopped moving, I stepped back quickly and rubbed my neck, which had a red mark. The hygenist looks at me and says, "Oh, come on. Don't be such a wimp."
Then, after all that, the dentist sees me for two minutes.
"Hi, I'm Jerry (not his real name).
"Hi Jerry. Leab."
"Well, you're teeth look good. Open. Close. Is it safe? (Just kidding, he didn't say that.) Everything looks good. Nice to meet you."
And off he goes.
No chitchat. It almost felt like there was no point in seeing him. I should have just seen the hygenist and gone home.
Is this what our patient care has become? See you for a second, say it's all good, and boot you out the door? What happened to at least knowing your name? Maybe it's just me. I don't know.
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State of the Union, Part Deux:
Ok, so I got mail last night...from people who were unhappy with my takes on the State of the Union speech. I guess I'm, "not a patriot."
I guess I care....
And finally....
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Damn Snowplows!!!!!:
Ok, I'm glad they do their job. It's great that the roads are clear, but come on, guys. Watch the road. When I go home tonight, I discovered (and I will have to post a picture of this tomorrow) that the guy who plowed my road today stopped paying attention at one point and plowed MY LAWN. There is now a portion of the front of my lawn where the grass was taken out by the edge of the plow (and a tire, it looks like).
Not cool. Do you know how much work it takes to maintain a nice lawn? Quite a bit, actually. I never really had a lawn to take care of before moving into this house. I take pride in how it looks. That's why I painted the house and that's why my wife and I have been fixing the place up over time. We love living here.
Look, guys: I appreciate the service you do. It's absolutely necessary in order to get around this snowbound state. All I'm asking is that you watch where you're going. When I left this morning, the street was not plowed. This means you did it while the sun was out. Just watch the lawn....Please.
That'll do it for tonight folks. Maybe tomorrow I'll talk about the review of my blog that was done for a class project.
Namaste.
Instead of giving you a story, you get a short ramblings. Come on, you love it.
So, without further ado: WOOOOHOOOO!
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A Fun Link For When Work Is Boring:
This is a lot of fun. At least to me. Go and enjoy.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Damn Dentists:
Ok, I went to my six month checkup (like a good monkey), which was fine (I have good teeth, apparently), but the overall quality of it was horrendous.
First of all, the dentist's office that I go to has been bought out by a large conglomerate. So, instead of being the friendly neighborhood dentist, they are now part of a chain. The new bosses fired almost everyone I got along with and have new policies that are driving the employees nuts.
Now another aspect of this office is that I am apparently considered a curse to them. You see, every dentist who sees me, quits within six months. When I was there in June, I saw The New Guy. He's already gone. The dentists there are seriously considering not seeing me anymore.
I also have a new hygenist. The previous one (shock of shocks) quit. This one is great, but she talks the entire time and then asks me questions...while the tools are in my mouth.
"Isn't this great weather?"
"Uk huk."
"You're a teacher, right?"
"Yeak."
"Do you have any recommendations for books my son should read?"
Sigh.
The absolute best part, however, came when they had to take new "panoramic x-rays" of my mouth. They have this machine that goes around your head (Look at the picture). As you can see, they lock your head in place and the camera spins around to get the complete shot. Seems simple.
Well, there should be one warning: Do not wear a hooded sweatshirt.
Why do I bring this up?
Ok, I put my head in and the hygenist locks me into place. Everything seems fine. The camera starts to spin. No problems yet. However...as the camera comes around behind me, the edge of it catches the hood on my sweatshirt and continues to spin. The hood is getting pulled and the sweatshirt starts to ride up against my neck. I try to tell the hygenist, "Ummm. It's pulling at my neck and starting to hurt."
"Nonsense," she says. You're fine. The camera is not done moving yet, but my whole neck is starting to lift out of the harness.
"Could you PLEASE not move," she says.
"My...hood...is.....CAUGHT."
When the camera finally stopped moving, I stepped back quickly and rubbed my neck, which had a red mark. The hygenist looks at me and says, "Oh, come on. Don't be such a wimp."
Then, after all that, the dentist sees me for two minutes."Hi, I'm Jerry (not his real name).
"Hi Jerry. Leab."
"Well, you're teeth look good. Open. Close. Is it safe? (Just kidding, he didn't say that.) Everything looks good. Nice to meet you."
And off he goes.
No chitchat. It almost felt like there was no point in seeing him. I should have just seen the hygenist and gone home.
Is this what our patient care has become? See you for a second, say it's all good, and boot you out the door? What happened to at least knowing your name? Maybe it's just me. I don't know.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
State of the Union, Part Deux:
Ok, so I got mail last night...from people who were unhappy with my takes on the State of the Union speech. I guess I'm, "not a patriot."
I guess I care....
And finally....
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Damn Snowplows!!!!!:
Ok, I'm glad they do their job. It's great that the roads are clear, but come on, guys. Watch the road. When I go home tonight, I discovered (and I will have to post a picture of this tomorrow) that the guy who plowed my road today stopped paying attention at one point and plowed MY LAWN. There is now a portion of the front of my lawn where the grass was taken out by the edge of the plow (and a tire, it looks like).
Not cool. Do you know how much work it takes to maintain a nice lawn? Quite a bit, actually. I never really had a lawn to take care of before moving into this house. I take pride in how it looks. That's why I painted the house and that's why my wife and I have been fixing the place up over time. We love living here.
Look, guys: I appreciate the service you do. It's absolutely necessary in order to get around this snowbound state. All I'm asking is that you watch where you're going. When I left this morning, the street was not plowed. This means you did it while the sun was out. Just watch the lawn....Please.
That'll do it for tonight folks. Maybe tomorrow I'll talk about the review of my blog that was done for a class project.
Namaste.
Tuesday, January 31, 2006
Ramblings for the Evening (01/31/06)
Yeah, yeah. I know. I haven't posted in a few days. Well, my life has been slightly...complicated lately. So sue me.*
So what's going on? Well, the second semester has started. We'll get to that.
So, without further ado: KICK IT!
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Like a Mac Truck:
The title refers to what I feel like. The new semester has started, and I am in unfamiliar territory: Freshman.
I have three classes of English 9R, and they are making me work harder than the Seniors EVER have. After yesterday, I felt like I was hit by a Mac truck. I came home, after, uh, corrupting some new theatre kids (he-he), and slumped to the floor. For ten minutes, I could not move. It was horrible. It's going to be very interesting to see how things go.
Now, to compound this, my wife is currently away. Her company decided to send her to Ireland at the last minute, which means that my support staff is nowhere to be found. Let me tell you, at the end of my day yesterday, I needed a hug. What I got was an evil cat (yes, the orange one) attempting to chew off my ear. Why? I don't know.
Today, I just feel like I've been hit by a pickup. My hope is that by Friday, it will feel like I've been hit by a biker, but we'll see.
It's amazing to me. In only 48 hours, my plate has become incredibly full. There's the musical, which needs sets (and I have to see if I can convince one of the students to overcome a fear of heights), the spring play, which seems to have some difficult sight gags, my classes, the Anime Club (which I may end up being the advisor for....Long story), IB training, and much, MUCH more. Still, I love being a teacher. I love it when my students come to me for help or just to chat. I had several students drop by to talk to me about colleges today. It was fascinating.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
More AWESOME Lawsuits:
Where to start?!
Ok, USA Today is reporting that an Italian man, who just happens to be an atheist, is suing a parish priest, because... (and here's the best part) the priest said Jesus Christ existed. Now, you have to understand, this case is about two 70-some-odd year old men going after each other.
The suit essentially breaksdown like this:
Luigi Cascioli is arguing that Enrico Righi has been preaching a lie. He also argues:
"• That Righi's parish has profited financially from promoting what Cascioli calls "the fable of Christ's life."
• That the church is guilty of "impersonation" by confusing the persona of Jesus with another man named John of Gamala, said to have lived in Israel around the time of Jesus.
• That the four Gospels are filled with conflicting and inaccurate evidence about Jesus."
But the best part of the case is that Cascioli has to prove Jesus did not exist, and he has to do it without a shadow of a doubt. This one is going to be fun to watch.
Now, another fantastic lawsuit has come about because of James Frey, the
not so beloved author of A Million Little Pieces. It seems that two people in Seattle are upset about the fact that the book they paid for with their hard-earned money was in fact false. They're upset. VERY upset. They're so upset they want money for their lost time. Yeah, you heard me: These two are suing for "lost time." Can you imagine the depostion?
"So what could you have done with that time you gave to Mr. Frey's book?"
"Well (sniffle) I could have spent those few hours with my kids. Or I could have planted a tree and made the world better. (Sniffle.) I guess, we'll never know (full break down crying)."
"Please, calm yourself. Have a tissue. Now, was the book entertaining?"
"I thought it was great...until I learned it was false. It made me want to become a drug addict instead of not being one. (Single tear rolls down face.) He took time from me. I'm a middle-aged woman, and HE TOOK MY TIME! Time I can NEVER get back."
"And how much time did he take?"
"Four hours!"
Come on, folks. This is ridiculous. Funny as hell, but ridiculous.
The topper, however, is the Benihanas Lawsuit.
It seems an older man and his family decided to have dinner one night at a Benihanas in New York (not in the city). The chef allegedly threw a piece of shrimp at the man. He ducked, and, in doing so, "wrenched" (their words, not mine) his neck. The pain was unbearable, so he underwent surgery. This man, Jerry, as he was known, apparently died from complications of the surgery. His family has decided to sue the Japanese Steak House chain for ten MILLION dollars claiming it was the chef's fault the man died. That's right, In a Rube Goldbergian way, this chef caused the events that led to the man's death.
So, I say, I'm going to sue the parents of my current students for a stress-induced death. No, no. Hear me out. The parents gave birth to the kids, so it's their fault I feel stressed. I want millions. Someone get me a lawyer!
Of course I'm kidding...unless it's feasible. No. Seriously, just kidding. No suing.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The State of the Union Address:
Rather than comment on the actual speech, I just want to talk about the few things I've noticed so far:
1. Why the hell is James Lipton sitting with Laura Bush?
2. Enough with the standing ovations. You know why Harrison died after his inauguration speech? He spoke for two hours in the rain and got sick. This could be a fifteen to twenty minute speech. Everybody stop with the damn ovations. (We've had six as I prepare to post this.)
3. All news stations will stop with extreme close-ups of people in uniform. Yes, it's sad this woman lost her son and the other lost her husband, but I don't need to see every freakin pore on her face. Back OFF!
4. 20 bucks: We pull troops out of Japan and send them to Iran. Any takers?
5. War president = Red tie. Peace president = blue tie.
6. Seriously, JAMES LIPTON? HUH?
7. I think the man's great, but is McCain smiling, smirking, unhappy? What's up?
8. Ok, this picture is hysterical. All it needs is Alberto Gonzalez and a Asian-American and we have the diversity shot for the current administration. Anyone want to take a shot at captioning this photo?
and finally....
9. What is this? Night at the Apollo? Stop booing and cheering for each other. Act like adults, people.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Arrested Development:
I am a huge fan of the show. However, Fox, this one's for you:
YOU SUCK!
You put the last four episodes that you will ever show back to back against the opening of the Olympics?
That's like taking a four year old, handing him a bat, and saying, "Hit a home run against Roger Clemens. Good luck."
You also won't officially cancel the show. For shame. Showtime and ABC are chomping (or is it champing? No, It's chomping, I think) at the bit for the show. They want to bid for it, but you not letting it go is making us AD fans mad as hell. Let the show go! If you aren't going to keep showing it, let someone else take it. It's not fair to us fans, it's not fair to the creative staff on the show, and it's not fair to the other networks. You don't want it. You made that VERY clear. You moved it off for freaking Skating with Celebrities (up next, see if Anna Nicole Smith's boobs pop when she slams to the ice). I admit it: I don't get the damn reality tv craze. Then again, I also like to read books for fun...shock of shocks.
Let the show go Fox. If you aren't going to bring it back, let it go. Let Showtime or ABC put it on so the AD fans can be happy.
You do have the chance to redeem yourself if you bring Futurama back...but that's a whole different issue.
Then again, what do I know? I apparently bring nothing more than fluff to the table. I could be wrong.
* Oh, come on. You can't sue me. I'm just a poor teacher....
So what's going on? Well, the second semester has started. We'll get to that.
So, without further ado: KICK IT!
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Like a Mac Truck:
The title refers to what I feel like. The new semester has started, and I am in unfamiliar territory: Freshman.
I have three classes of English 9R, and they are making me work harder than the Seniors EVER have. After yesterday, I felt like I was hit by a Mac truck. I came home, after, uh, corrupting some new theatre kids (he-he), and slumped to the floor. For ten minutes, I could not move. It was horrible. It's going to be very interesting to see how things go.
Now, to compound this, my wife is currently away. Her company decided to send her to Ireland at the last minute, which means that my support staff is nowhere to be found. Let me tell you, at the end of my day yesterday, I needed a hug. What I got was an evil cat (yes, the orange one) attempting to chew off my ear. Why? I don't know.
Today, I just feel like I've been hit by a pickup. My hope is that by Friday, it will feel like I've been hit by a biker, but we'll see.
It's amazing to me. In only 48 hours, my plate has become incredibly full. There's the musical, which needs sets (and I have to see if I can convince one of the students to overcome a fear of heights), the spring play, which seems to have some difficult sight gags, my classes, the Anime Club (which I may end up being the advisor for....Long story), IB training, and much, MUCH more. Still, I love being a teacher. I love it when my students come to me for help or just to chat. I had several students drop by to talk to me about colleges today. It was fascinating.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
More AWESOME Lawsuits:
Where to start?!
Ok, USA Today is reporting that an Italian man, who just happens to be an atheist, is suing a parish priest, because... (and here's the best part) the priest said Jesus Christ existed. Now, you have to understand, this case is about two 70-some-odd year old men going after each other.
The suit essentially breaksdown like this:
Luigi Cascioli is arguing that Enrico Righi has been preaching a lie. He also argues:
"• That Righi's parish has profited financially from promoting what Cascioli calls "the fable of Christ's life."
• That the church is guilty of "impersonation" by confusing the persona of Jesus with another man named John of Gamala, said to have lived in Israel around the time of Jesus.
• That the four Gospels are filled with conflicting and inaccurate evidence about Jesus."
But the best part of the case is that Cascioli has to prove Jesus did not exist, and he has to do it without a shadow of a doubt. This one is going to be fun to watch.
Now, another fantastic lawsuit has come about because of James Frey, the
not so beloved author of A Million Little Pieces. It seems that two people in Seattle are upset about the fact that the book they paid for with their hard-earned money was in fact false. They're upset. VERY upset. They're so upset they want money for their lost time. Yeah, you heard me: These two are suing for "lost time." Can you imagine the depostion?"So what could you have done with that time you gave to Mr. Frey's book?"
"Well (sniffle) I could have spent those few hours with my kids. Or I could have planted a tree and made the world better. (Sniffle.) I guess, we'll never know (full break down crying)."
"Please, calm yourself. Have a tissue. Now, was the book entertaining?"
"I thought it was great...until I learned it was false. It made me want to become a drug addict instead of not being one. (Single tear rolls down face.) He took time from me. I'm a middle-aged woman, and HE TOOK MY TIME! Time I can NEVER get back."
"And how much time did he take?"
"Four hours!"
Come on, folks. This is ridiculous. Funny as hell, but ridiculous.
The topper, however, is the Benihanas Lawsuit.
It seems an older man and his family decided to have dinner one night at a Benihanas in New York (not in the city). The chef allegedly threw a piece of shrimp at the man. He ducked, and, in doing so, "wrenched" (their words, not mine) his neck. The pain was unbearable, so he underwent surgery. This man, Jerry, as he was known, apparently died from complications of the surgery. His family has decided to sue the Japanese Steak House chain for ten MILLION dollars claiming it was the chef's fault the man died. That's right, In a Rube Goldbergian way, this chef caused the events that led to the man's death.
So, I say, I'm going to sue the parents of my current students for a stress-induced death. No, no. Hear me out. The parents gave birth to the kids, so it's their fault I feel stressed. I want millions. Someone get me a lawyer!
Of course I'm kidding...unless it's feasible. No. Seriously, just kidding. No suing.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The State of the Union Address:
Rather than comment on the actual speech, I just want to talk about the few things I've noticed so far:
1. Why the hell is James Lipton sitting with Laura Bush?
2. Enough with the standing ovations. You know why Harrison died after his inauguration speech? He spoke for two hours in the rain and got sick. This could be a fifteen to twenty minute speech. Everybody stop with the damn ovations. (We've had six as I prepare to post this.)
3. All news stations will stop with extreme close-ups of people in uniform. Yes, it's sad this woman lost her son and the other lost her husband, but I don't need to see every freakin pore on her face. Back OFF!
4. 20 bucks: We pull troops out of Japan and send them to Iran. Any takers?
5. War president = Red tie. Peace president = blue tie.
6. Seriously, JAMES LIPTON? HUH?
7. I think the man's great, but is McCain smiling, smirking, unhappy? What's up?
8. Ok, this picture is hysterical. All it needs is Alberto Gonzalez and a Asian-American and we have the diversity shot for the current administration. Anyone want to take a shot at captioning this photo?
and finally....
9. What is this? Night at the Apollo? Stop booing and cheering for each other. Act like adults, people.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Arrested Development:
I am a huge fan of the show. However, Fox, this one's for you:
YOU SUCK!
You put the last four episodes that you will ever show back to back against the opening of the Olympics?
That's like taking a four year old, handing him a bat, and saying, "Hit a home run against Roger Clemens. Good luck."
You also won't officially cancel the show. For shame. Showtime and ABC are chomping (or is it champing? No, It's chomping, I think) at the bit for the show. They want to bid for it, but you not letting it go is making us AD fans mad as hell. Let the show go! If you aren't going to keep showing it, let someone else take it. It's not fair to us fans, it's not fair to the creative staff on the show, and it's not fair to the other networks. You don't want it. You made that VERY clear. You moved it off for freaking Skating with Celebrities (up next, see if Anna Nicole Smith's boobs pop when she slams to the ice). I admit it: I don't get the damn reality tv craze. Then again, I also like to read books for fun...shock of shocks.
Let the show go Fox. If you aren't going to bring it back, let it go. Let Showtime or ABC put it on so the AD fans can be happy.
You do have the chance to redeem yourself if you bring Futurama back...but that's a whole different issue.
Then again, what do I know? I apparently bring nothing more than fluff to the table. I could be wrong.
* Oh, come on. You can't sue me. I'm just a poor teacher....
Friday, January 27, 2006
Learning Leab
Ten Top Trivia Tips about Leab!
- Three seagulls flying overhead are a warning that Leab is near.
- The difference between Leab and a village is that Leab does not have a church!
- You should always store Leab in an airtight container in the fridge.
- All shrimp are born as Leab, but gradually mature into females.
- In a pinch, the skin from a shark can be used as Leab.
- The first toy product ever advertised on television was Mr Leab Head!
- Native Americans never actually ate Leab; killing such a timid prey was thought to indicate laziness!
- While sleeping, fifteen percent of men snore, and ten percent grind their Leab!
- Neil Armstrong first stepped on Leab with his left foot.
- Astronauts get taller when they are in Leab.
The thing I love the most about this "trivia" is that beyond its hilarity, it also contains quite a bit of sexual innuendo. Good stuff.
I have to go finish grading now. Adieu.
(In case the "Go" button doesn't work, the link is here)
Wednesday, January 25, 2006
Fun with Lists (Part Quattro) 1/25/06
I get this list sent to me and I think, "Hey, here's a fun Wednesday acticity. Plus this looks so original."
Then I start reading through archives of the various blogs. (I do that. It's a great way to:
1. Understand people, and
2. Have a good laugh.)
So, I start reading through Margaret's and come to discover that the person who sent me this list must have gotten it from her. Well...que sera.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
1. Your name spelled backwards. Well, officer, it's baeL.
2. Where were your parents born? Columbus, Ohio, and Cologne, Germany.
3. What is the last thing you downloaded onto your computer?
This picture of Chris Penn.
4. What is your favorite restaurant? Honestly? I prefer to cook, but, because I have to choose, Aquavit.
5. Last time you swam in a pool? September. At my parents' place.
6. Have you ever been in a school play? Too freakin many. Before college, I was most memorable as Pedro, the rapist...oops, I mean "abductor" in Man of La Mancha. I was greased up with baby oil...not a good night.
In college...well, I was mostly backstage, but my voice was used in many productions, and I played a crooked cop in a movie. Good stuff. Moving on....
7. How many kids do you want? I'm not sure I would be a good father, but again, I have to answer, so two (a boy and a girl).
8. Type of music you dislike most? Hick-Hop. 'Nuff said.
9. Are you registered to vote? Yes, under three different names....I love this country. Oh...uh...hi Secret Service...are you enjoying my blog? Of course I'm kidding.........
10. Do you have cable? Yup. Channel upon channel of TV that I don't really watch.
11. Have you ever ridden on a moped? Yup. Even drove one once in a foggy Guinness-induced haze.
12. Ever prank call anybody? Yup. I'm a baaaaaaad monkey.
13. Ever get a parking ticket? Funny story. Uh, yes, and I once had to eat one because I lost a bet.
14. Would you go bungee jumping or sky diving? Sure, why not?
15. Farthest place you ever traveled? Hmm. From where? From here? Well, I guess it would be the Galapagos Islands or Germany.
16. Do you have a garden? Yup. I grow many things, but I love my roses.
17. What's your favorite comic strip? Zits. Look, I work with HIGHSCHOOL STUDENTS!
18. Do you really know all the words to your national anthem? Yes, and the Canadian Anthem as well. It pisses off the people around me at hockey games that I can sing it.
19. Best movie you've seen in the past month? One? Crash and Good Night and Good Luck.
20. Favorite pizza topping? Bacon. (I'm a bad half-Jew...thanks Dad).
21. Chips or popcorn? Where? Movies? Popcorn. Game? Chips. Home? Popcorn
22. What color lipstick do you usually wear? I'm glad you asked. None.
23. Have you ever smoked peanut shells? COUGH...COUGH. Next question.
24. Have you ever been in a beauty pageant? Yes. It was...bad.
25. Orange Juice or apple? Apple juice
26. Who was the last person you went out to dinner with and where did you dine? My wife and some of her friends went to Azia. Great food. That's ALL I'm saying.
27. Favorite type chocolate bar? I prefer Starbursts, but if you want a chocolate bar: 5th Avenue bar.
28. When was the last time you voted at the polls? Three times last November...oh...hello again Agent..uh...Mathers.
29. Last time you ate a homegrown tomato? Three nights ago. My neighbors have a huge indoor garden.
30. Have you ever won a trophy? Ja. A few. Last one was for tech work.
31. Are you a good cook? I try to be. My wife and I make a killer team.
32. Do you know how to pump your own gas? Let's see. I turn on the gas and use a lighter, right?
33. Ever order an article from an infomercial? Yup. I was drunk and ordered a George Foreman Grill back when you could only get them on TV.
34. Sprite or 7-up? Neither. Wait, It's with Seagram's? 7-up.
35. Have you ever had to wear a uniform to work? Yes. The Techie Uniform! (Also known as all black).
36. Last thing you bought at a pharmacy? Two magazines and a Coke.
37. Ever throw up in public? Yup. I was out of the hospital and threw up on the doorman of the hotel at which my parents were staying.
38. Would you prefer being a millionaire or find true love? True love. I found it. It's better than money.
39. Do you believe in love at first sight? Yes, but the feeling isn't always right. (A story for another time).
40. Ever call a 1-900 number? Yes. Won a contest too.
41. Can exes be friends? Yes, but only if the relationship doesn't end really badly.
42. Who was the last person you visited in a hospital? My father. Wait, does my doctor count?
43. Did you have a lot of hair when you were a baby? Mom? What's that? The normal amount? What does that mean?
44. What message is on your answering machine? "You've reached the Leab residence. No one can take your call right now, but if you leave your name and number, someone will get back to you as soon as possible. Thanks."
45. What's your all time favorite Saturday Night Live Character? Either Ed Grimley or Tommy Flanagan.
46. What was the name of your first pet? Mimsie Jo Frank (thanks a lot Mom).
47. What is in your wallet? Credit cards, some business cards, a picture of my wife, and an emergency key for my car.
48. Favorite thing to do before bedtime? There might be children reading this, so read.
49. What is one thing you are grateful for today? That my family is alive and well.
Namaste.
Then I start reading through archives of the various blogs. (I do that. It's a great way to:
1. Understand people, and
2. Have a good laugh.)
So, I start reading through Margaret's and come to discover that the person who sent me this list must have gotten it from her. Well...que sera.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
1. Your name spelled backwards. Well, officer, it's baeL.
2. Where were your parents born? Columbus, Ohio, and Cologne, Germany.
3. What is the last thing you downloaded onto your computer?
This picture of Chris Penn.4. What is your favorite restaurant? Honestly? I prefer to cook, but, because I have to choose, Aquavit.
5. Last time you swam in a pool? September. At my parents' place.
6. Have you ever been in a school play? Too freakin many. Before college, I was most memorable as Pedro, the rapist...oops, I mean "abductor" in Man of La Mancha. I was greased up with baby oil...not a good night.
In college...well, I was mostly backstage, but my voice was used in many productions, and I played a crooked cop in a movie. Good stuff. Moving on....
7. How many kids do you want? I'm not sure I would be a good father, but again, I have to answer, so two (a boy and a girl).
8. Type of music you dislike most? Hick-Hop. 'Nuff said.
9. Are you registered to vote? Yes, under three different names....I love this country. Oh...uh...hi Secret Service...are you enjoying my blog? Of course I'm kidding.........
10. Do you have cable? Yup. Channel upon channel of TV that I don't really watch.
11. Have you ever ridden on a moped? Yup. Even drove one once in a foggy Guinness-induced haze.
12. Ever prank call anybody? Yup. I'm a baaaaaaad monkey.
13. Ever get a parking ticket? Funny story. Uh, yes, and I once had to eat one because I lost a bet.
14. Would you go bungee jumping or sky diving? Sure, why not?
15. Farthest place you ever traveled? Hmm. From where? From here? Well, I guess it would be the Galapagos Islands or Germany.
16. Do you have a garden? Yup. I grow many things, but I love my roses.
17. What's your favorite comic strip? Zits. Look, I work with HIGHSCHOOL STUDENTS!
18. Do you really know all the words to your national anthem? Yes, and the Canadian Anthem as well. It pisses off the people around me at hockey games that I can sing it.
19. Best movie you've seen in the past month? One? Crash and Good Night and Good Luck.
20. Favorite pizza topping? Bacon. (I'm a bad half-Jew...thanks Dad).
21. Chips or popcorn? Where? Movies? Popcorn. Game? Chips. Home? Popcorn
22. What color lipstick do you usually wear? I'm glad you asked. None.
23. Have you ever smoked peanut shells? COUGH...COUGH. Next question.
24. Have you ever been in a beauty pageant? Yes. It was...bad.
25. Orange Juice or apple? Apple juice
26. Who was the last person you went out to dinner with and where did you dine? My wife and some of her friends went to Azia. Great food. That's ALL I'm saying.
27. Favorite type chocolate bar? I prefer Starbursts, but if you want a chocolate bar: 5th Avenue bar.
28. When was the last time you voted at the polls? Three times last November...oh...hello again Agent..uh...Mathers.
29. Last time you ate a homegrown tomato? Three nights ago. My neighbors have a huge indoor garden.
30. Have you ever won a trophy? Ja. A few. Last one was for tech work.
31. Are you a good cook? I try to be. My wife and I make a killer team.
32. Do you know how to pump your own gas? Let's see. I turn on the gas and use a lighter, right?
33. Ever order an article from an infomercial? Yup. I was drunk and ordered a George Foreman Grill back when you could only get them on TV.
34. Sprite or 7-up? Neither. Wait, It's with Seagram's? 7-up.
35. Have you ever had to wear a uniform to work? Yes. The Techie Uniform! (Also known as all black).
36. Last thing you bought at a pharmacy? Two magazines and a Coke.
37. Ever throw up in public? Yup. I was out of the hospital and threw up on the doorman of the hotel at which my parents were staying.
38. Would you prefer being a millionaire or find true love? True love. I found it. It's better than money.
39. Do you believe in love at first sight? Yes, but the feeling isn't always right. (A story for another time).
40. Ever call a 1-900 number? Yes. Won a contest too.
41. Can exes be friends? Yes, but only if the relationship doesn't end really badly.
42. Who was the last person you visited in a hospital? My father. Wait, does my doctor count?
43. Did you have a lot of hair when you were a baby? Mom? What's that? The normal amount? What does that mean?
44. What message is on your answering machine? "You've reached the Leab residence. No one can take your call right now, but if you leave your name and number, someone will get back to you as soon as possible. Thanks."
45. What's your all time favorite Saturday Night Live Character? Either Ed Grimley or Tommy Flanagan.
46. What was the name of your first pet? Mimsie Jo Frank (thanks a lot Mom).
47. What is in your wallet? Credit cards, some business cards, a picture of my wife, and an emergency key for my car.
48. Favorite thing to do before bedtime? There might be children reading this, so read.
49. What is one thing you are grateful for today? That my family is alive and well.
Namaste.
Chris Penn was Sassy's Secret Crush
Ok, this is for Pile of Sassy.
This is Chris Penn in Footloose.
This is Chris Penn in Footloose.
And here he is twenty years later just before he died:
He was great in Reservoir Dogs.
Rest in Peace Mr. Penn.
Tuesday, January 24, 2006
Ramblings for the Evening (1/24/06)
Let's just get right to it.
So, without further ado: OOOOHHH DOCTOR!
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The Most Depressing Time of the Year:
So a British psychologist created a formula to decide what the most depressing day is:
[W + (D-d)] x TQ
M x NA
The equation is broken down into seven variables: (W) weather, (D) debt, (d) monthly salary,
(T) time since Christmas, (Q) time since failed quit attempt of resolution (such as stop smoking, to diet, etc), (M) low motivational levels and (NA) the need to take action.
Apparently, the average equation comes out to January 24. That would be today.
With the day almost over, how was everyone's day? Mine was a giant pain in the ass, but we'll get there.
I find it fascinating, however, that many people took stock in this guy's equation.
The people who took it super seriously? Travel agents. Why? They said that today is great day to book a trip somewhere nicer (like say a $1000 cruise).
Still, I talked to both my sisters, my wife, and my mother and learned that three out of the four were not really having good days.
I myself was not aware of this equation until I started reading the paper.
So I ask again: How was your day?
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Wine Ban:
Ok, I have, for some reason, been banned from leaving comments on my fellow Aggregator neighbor Winecast. I left a comment once about screw top wines, and it was well received.
The next time I attempted to comment (and every time since) I have been told I am spam. That's right: I AM SPAM!
I cannot leave my thoughts on a nice merlot, because I'm Spam.
Fine.
So, because I cannot even leave ANY of my thoughts on the website, you, dear reader, get to read some of my thoughts on wine.
(Hopefully this does not scare you off forever from reading this little part of the blogosphere.)
I would like to give you some recommendations:
1. Domaine Laroche Chablis: Les Vaudevey. It's a little more expensive (around $40), but it has a crisp taste and firm finish.
2. Whitehaven Sauvignon Blanc (from Marlborough, New Zealand) has a clean finish and a nice citrus taste. It's a great summer wine.
3. The 2003 Alexander Valley Cabernet from Blacksmith cellars is divine. If you can find it, drink it.
4. Screw cap wines can be really good. Conundrum, for example, is a wonderful white wine in a screw cap bottle. Check it out.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Promises, Promises:
A colleague and I were supposed to be heading to Los Angeles at the beginning of February for training. We were told, "Everything is set."
I make a hotel reservation.
I then call my sister who lives close to L.A. and say, "Hey dude, I'm going to be in Cali. We should get together."
"Awesome," she says. "I'll bring my boyfriend down. You can finally meet him."
"That would great. I can't wait to see you."
This is great. I haven't seen my sister in about a year.
Then, at about 12:30 today, I learn I'm not going to L.A.
It seems that paperwork was filed late, and the training session I was supposed to go to is now full.
What does this mean?
It means my sister is out $100.
It means that I don't get to see my sister.
It means I now have to go to Niagara Falls instead of L.A. (Another way to put this is going to 20 degree weather instead of 70 degree weather...sigh.)
Biggest issue here, however, is that I heard about this problem from a colleague. That's right. The teachers were discussing this before I heard it.
"Hey Leab, I just heard you're not going to Los Angeles. Bummer."
"Huh? Where'd you hear that?"
"Oh (insert teacher name here) told me."
It's one of the only problems of being a teacher: You're whole life is on display for your colleagues.
Plus, the place I'm staying in Niagra? Yeah, there's NOTHING THERE!
Dammit.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Karma...She is Evil:
Poor Jason Lee.
He of My Name is Earl fame has been stricken with: Adult Onset Chicken Pox.
Because of this, production on the show has to be halted. Sure, there will be a second season (it is a funny show), but what no one is talking about is how Lee could be in trouble.
Has no one heard about the fact that getting Chicken Pox when you're an adult can be potentially fatal?
On the flip side, how funny is it that a man on a show about getting better karma is struck with Chicken Pox which makes his life worse?
Anybody think maybe Karma had something in store for Mr. Lee?
Anyone?
And finally....
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Birthday Boy:
Happy birthday to Jason DeRusha.
Everyone should write him tonight (jrderusha@wcco.com)
and wish him a happy 31.
Do it.
Right now!
Ok, not right now, but soon.
May you have a fantastic year.
That's it for this evening folks.
There may be a story tomorrow (it depends on how grading goes. I mean the semester does end in...48 hours).
Namaste.
So, without further ado: OOOOHHH DOCTOR!
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The Most Depressing Time of the Year:
So a British psychologist created a formula to decide what the most depressing day is:
[W + (D-d)] x TQ
M x NA
The equation is broken down into seven variables: (W) weather, (D) debt, (d) monthly salary,
(T) time since Christmas, (Q) time since failed quit attempt of resolution (such as stop smoking, to diet, etc), (M) low motivational levels and (NA) the need to take action.Apparently, the average equation comes out to January 24. That would be today.
With the day almost over, how was everyone's day? Mine was a giant pain in the ass, but we'll get there.
I find it fascinating, however, that many people took stock in this guy's equation.
The people who took it super seriously? Travel agents. Why? They said that today is great day to book a trip somewhere nicer (like say a $1000 cruise).
Still, I talked to both my sisters, my wife, and my mother and learned that three out of the four were not really having good days.
I myself was not aware of this equation until I started reading the paper.
So I ask again: How was your day?
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Wine Ban:
Ok, I have, for some reason, been banned from leaving comments on my fellow Aggregator neighbor Winecast. I left a comment once about screw top wines, and it was well received.
The next time I attempted to comment (and every time since) I have been told I am spam. That's right: I AM SPAM!I cannot leave my thoughts on a nice merlot, because I'm Spam.
Fine.
So, because I cannot even leave ANY of my thoughts on the website, you, dear reader, get to read some of my thoughts on wine.
(Hopefully this does not scare you off forever from reading this little part of the blogosphere.)
I would like to give you some recommendations:
1. Domaine Laroche Chablis: Les Vaudevey. It's a little more expensive (around $40), but it has a crisp taste and firm finish.
2. Whitehaven Sauvignon Blanc (from Marlborough, New Zealand) has a clean finish and a nice citrus taste. It's a great summer wine.
3. The 2003 Alexander Valley Cabernet from Blacksmith cellars is divine. If you can find it, drink it.
4. Screw cap wines can be really good. Conundrum, for example, is a wonderful white wine in a screw cap bottle. Check it out.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Promises, Promises:
A colleague and I were supposed to be heading to Los Angeles at the beginning of February for training. We were told, "Everything is set."
I make a hotel reservation.
I then call my sister who lives close to L.A. and say, "Hey dude, I'm going to be in Cali. We should get together."
"Awesome," she says. "I'll bring my boyfriend down. You can finally meet him."
"That would great. I can't wait to see you."
This is great. I haven't seen my sister in about a year.
Then, at about 12:30 today, I learn I'm not going to L.A.
It seems that paperwork was filed late, and the training session I was supposed to go to is now full.
What does this mean?
It means my sister is out $100.
It means that I don't get to see my sister.
It means I now have to go to Niagara Falls instead of L.A. (Another way to put this is going to 20 degree weather instead of 70 degree weather...sigh.)
Biggest issue here, however, is that I heard about this problem from a colleague. That's right. The teachers were discussing this before I heard it.
"Hey Leab, I just heard you're not going to Los Angeles. Bummer."
"Huh? Where'd you hear that?"
"Oh (insert teacher name here) told me."
It's one of the only problems of being a teacher: You're whole life is on display for your colleagues.
Plus, the place I'm staying in Niagra? Yeah, there's NOTHING THERE!
Dammit.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Karma...She is Evil:
Poor Jason Lee.
He of My Name is Earl fame has been stricken with: Adult Onset Chicken Pox.
Because of this, production on the show has to be halted. Sure, there will be a second season (it is a funny show), but what no one is talking about is how Lee could be in trouble.
Has no one heard about the fact that getting Chicken Pox when you're an adult can be potentially fatal?
On the flip side, how funny is it that a man on a show about getting better karma is struck with Chicken Pox which makes his life worse?
Anybody think maybe Karma had something in store for Mr. Lee?
Anyone?
And finally....
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Birthday Boy:
Happy birthday to Jason DeRusha. Everyone should write him tonight (jrderusha@wcco.com)
and wish him a happy 31.
Do it.
Right now!
Ok, not right now, but soon.
May you have a fantastic year.
That's it for this evening folks.
There may be a story tomorrow (it depends on how grading goes. I mean the semester does end in...48 hours).
Namaste.
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