Thursday, May 05, 2005

Gutentag Herr Puck

Ok, I know I promised to talk about Minnesota, but tonight presented a topic I couldn't pass up. My wife and I went to Wolfgang Puck's new restaurant here in Minnesota. It's called 20.21. It's a California/Asian fusion restaurant, and it's quite good. However, one other reason why we went was the chance to meet that loveable Austrian chef.
We ate (a great meal), and looked around for a glimmer of the man, but he was nowhere to be seen. We were even served by Scott Innefree, the executive chef. That was a treat.
So, because we did not meet the big man, I present instead a proposed conversation between myself and Herr Puck.

(Disclaimer: For all legal purposes, this conversation never took place. So no suing.)
Me: Mr. Puck, Mr. Puck! Great restaurant.
Wolfgang Puck: Zank you, zank you. I've tried very hard to make it special.
Me: It is that. I mean the food is original and great. The wine, however....Weeellll, it's a little over-priced for the choices
WP: What!? How dare you insult me with your accusation! I will crush you! I'm Austrian. You know who else is Austrian? That's right Governor Schwarzenegger.
Me: Whoa, whoa, whoa. I didn't mean to insult. Just trying to help. I mean this is only the second day you've been open. Sorry.
WP: It's all right. I've been testy since Julia (Childs) died. I miss her everyday. She was special both in and out of the kitchen (stares off and smiles).
Me: What do you mean by that?
WP: Veeellll, she was a beautiful women, even right before she died.
Me: Ummmm, ewww.
WP: You have no appreciation for women. I'm Wolfgang Puck! I love all women.
Me: Hey that's great. Can I get back to dinner now?
WP: Ja, ja, dat's fine. Have you tried the Lobster?
Me: I don't like lobster, and my wife is allergic.
WP: WAAAASS? Then no dessert for you!
Me: Just because I want to order something I like?
WP: Ve have nothing else to discuss. Just get your wine and finish. You've broken my heart, just like Julia.
Me: Like I said before: ewwwww. So, one last question. Are you happy with your staff.
WP: Vell, the ones I like I tell to call me Wolf. The rest call me boss.
Me: Oh, that's interesting. Who calls you Wolf?
WP: Only the ladies. You know how that goes, eh? (winks)
Me: I walked into that one.
WP: Ok, I should go now. Do you want an autograph?
Me: Could we get one?
WP: Tell your wife to show her breasts and....
Me: Check please!

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