Wednesday, February 01, 2006

Ramblings for the Evening (02/01/06)

Oy very, everybody. What a day.
Instead of giving you a story, you get a short ramblings. Come on, you love it.
So, without further ado: WOOOOHOOOO!
A Fun Link For When Work Is Boring:
This is a lot of fun. At least to me. Go and enjoy.
Damn Dentists:
Ok, I went to my six month checkup (like a good monkey), which was fine (I have good teeth, apparently), but the overall quality of it was horrendous.
First of all, the dentist's office that I go to has been bought out by a large conglomerate. So, instead of being the friendly neighborhood dentist, they are now part of a chain. The new bosses fired almost everyone I got along with and have new policies that are driving the employees nuts.
Now another aspect of this office is that I am apparently considered a curse to them. You see, every dentist who sees me, quits within six months. When I was there in June, I saw The New Guy. He's already gone. The dentists there are seriously considering not seeing me anymore.
I also have a new hygenist. The previous one (shock of shocks) quit. This one is great, but she talks the entire time and then asks me questions...while the tools are in my mouth.
"Isn't this great weather?"
"Uk huk."
"You're a teacher, right?"
"Do you have any recommendations for books my son should read?"

The absolute best part, however, came when they had to take new "panoramic x-rays" of my mouth. They have this machine that goes around your head (Look at the picture). As you can see, they lock your head in place and the camera spins around to get the complete shot. Seems simple.
Well, there should be one warning: Do not wear a hooded sweatshirt.
Why do I bring this up?
Ok, I put my head in and the hygenist locks me into place. Everything seems fine. The camera starts to spin. No problems yet. the camera comes around behind me, the edge of it catches the hood on my sweatshirt and continues to spin. The hood is getting pulled and the sweatshirt starts to ride up against my neck. I try to tell the hygenist, "Ummm. It's pulling at my neck and starting to hurt."
"Nonsense," she says. You're fine. The camera is not done moving yet, but my whole neck is starting to lift out of the harness.
"Could you PLEASE not move," she says.
When the camera finally stopped moving, I stepped back quickly and rubbed my neck, which had a red mark. The hygenist looks at me and says, "Oh, come on. Don't be such a wimp."
Then, after all that, the dentist sees me for two minutes.
"Hi, I'm Jerry (not his real name).
"Hi Jerry. Leab."
"Well, you're teeth look good. Open. Close. Is it safe? (Just kidding, he didn't say that.) Everything looks good. Nice to meet you."
And off he goes.
No chitchat. It almost felt like there was no point in seeing him. I should have just seen the hygenist and gone home.
Is this what our patient care has become? See you for a second, say it's all good, and boot you out the door? What happened to at least knowing your name? Maybe it's just me. I don't know.
State of the Union, Part Deux:
Ok, so I got mail last night...from people who were unhappy with my takes on the State of the Union speech. I guess I'm, "not a patriot."
I guess I care....
And finally....
Damn Snowplows!!!!!:
Ok, I'm glad they do their job. It's great that the roads are clear, but come on, guys. Watch the road. When I go home tonight, I discovered (and I will have to post a picture of this tomorrow) that the guy who plowed my road today stopped paying attention at one point and plowed MY LAWN. There is now a portion of the front of my lawn where the grass was taken out by the edge of the plow (and a tire, it looks like).
Not cool. Do you know how much work it takes to maintain a nice lawn? Quite a bit, actually. I never really had a lawn to take care of before moving into this house. I take pride in how it looks. That's why I painted the house and that's why my wife and I have been fixing the place up over time. We love living here.
Look, guys: I appreciate the service you do. It's absolutely necessary in order to get around this snowbound state. All I'm asking is that you watch where you're going. When I left this morning, the street was not plowed. This means you did it while the sun was out. Just watch the lawn....Please.
That'll do it for tonight folks. Maybe tomorrow I'll talk about the review of my blog that was done for a class project.

Tuesday, January 31, 2006

Ramblings for the Evening (01/31/06)

Yeah, yeah. I know. I haven't posted in a few days. Well, my life has been slightly...complicated lately. So sue me.*
So what's going on? Well, the second semester has started. We'll get to that.
So, without further ado: KICK IT!
Like a Mac Truck:

The title refers to what I feel like. The new semester has started, and I am in unfamiliar territory: Freshman.
I have three classes of English 9R, and they are making me work harder than the Seniors EVER have. After yesterday, I felt like I was hit by a Mac truck. I came home, after, uh, corrupting some new theatre kids (he-he), and slumped to the floor. For ten minutes, I could not move. It was horrible. It's going to be very interesting to see how things go.
Now, to compound this, my wife is currently away. Her company decided to send her to Ireland at the last minute, which means that my support staff is nowhere to be found. Let me tell you, at the end of my day yesterday, I needed a hug. What I got was an evil cat (yes, the orange one) attempting to chew off my ear. Why? I don't know.
Today, I just feel like I've been hit by a pickup. My hope is that by Friday, it will feel like I've been hit by a biker, but we'll see.
It's amazing to me. In only 48 hours, my plate has become incredibly full. There's the musical, which needs sets (and I have to see if I can convince one of the students to overcome a fear of heights), the spring play, which seems to have some difficult sight gags, my classes, the Anime Club (which I may end up being the advisor for....Long story), IB training, and much, MUCH more. Still, I love being a teacher. I love it when my students come to me for help or just to chat. I had several students drop by to talk to me about colleges today. It was fascinating.
More AWESOME Lawsuits:
Where to start?!
USA Today is reporting that an Italian man, who just happens to be an atheist, is suing a parish priest, because... (and here's the best part) the priest said Jesus Christ existed. Now, you have to understand, this case is about two 70-some-odd year old men going after each other.
The suit essentially breaksdown like this:
Luigi Cascioli is arguing that Enrico Righi has been preaching a lie. He also argues:
"• That Righi's parish has profited financially from promoting what Cascioli calls "the fable of Christ's life."
• That the church is guilty of "impersonation" by confusing the persona of Jesus with another man named John of Gamala, said to have lived in Israel around the time of Jesus.
• That the four Gospels are filled with conflicting and inaccurate evidence about Jesus."
But the best part of the case is that Cascioli has to prove Jesus did not exist, and he has to do it without a shadow of a doubt. This one is going to be fun to watch.
Now, another fantastic lawsuit has come about because of
James Frey, the not so beloved author of A Million Little Pieces. It seems that two people in Seattle are upset about the fact that the book they paid for with their hard-earned money was in fact false. They're upset. VERY upset. They're so upset they want money for their lost time. Yeah, you heard me: These two are suing for "lost time." Can you imagine the depostion?
"So what could you have done with that time you gave to Mr. Frey's book?"
"Well (sniffle) I could have spent those few hours with my kids. Or I could have planted a tree and made the world better. (Sniffle.) I guess, we'll never know (full break down crying)."
"Please, calm yourself. Have a tissue. Now, was the book entertaining?"
"I thought it was great...until I learned it was false. It made me want to become a drug addict instead of not being one. (Single tear rolls down face.) He took time from me. I'm a middle-aged woman, and HE TOOK MY TIME! Time I can NEVER get back."
"And how much time did he take?"
"Four hours!"
Come on, folks. This is ridiculous. Funny as hell, but ridiculous.
The topper, however, is the Benihanas Lawsuit.
It seems an older man and his family decided to have dinner one night at a Benihanas in New York (not in the city). The chef allegedly threw a piece of shrimp at the man. He ducked, and, in doing so, "wrenched" (their words, not mine) his neck. The pain was unbearable, so he underwent surgery. This man, Jerry, as he was known, apparently died from complications of the surgery. His family has decided to sue the Japanese Steak House chain for ten MILLION dollars claiming it was the chef's fault the man died. That's right, In a Rube Goldbergian way, this chef caused the events that led to the man's death.
So, I say, I'm going to sue the parents of my current students for a stress-induced death. No, no. Hear me out. The parents gave birth to the kids, so it's their fault I feel stressed. I want millions. Someone get me a lawyer!
Of course I'm kidding...unless it's feasible. No. Seriously, just kidding. No suing.
The State of the Union Address:
Rather than comment on the actual speech, I just want to talk about the few things I've noticed so far:
1. Why the hell is James Lipton sitting with Laura Bush?
2. Enough with the standing ovations. You know why Harrison died after his inauguration speech? He spoke for two hours in the rain and got sick. This could be a fifteen to twenty minute speech. Everybody stop with the damn ovations. (We've had six as I prepare to post this.)
3. All news stations will stop with extreme close-ups of people in uniform. Yes, it's sad this woman lost her son and the other lost her husband, but I don't need to see every freakin pore on her face. Back OFF!
4. 20 bucks: We pull troops out of Japan and send them to Iran. Any takers?
5. War president = Red tie. Peace president = blue tie.
6. Seriously, JAMES LIPTON? HUH?

7. I think the man's great, but is McCain smiling, smirking, unhappy? What's up?
8. Ok, this picture is hysterical. All it needs is Alberto Gonzalez and a Asian-American and we have the diversity shot for the current administration. Anyone want to take a shot at captioning this photo?

and finally....
9. What is this? Night at the Apollo? Stop booing and cheering for each other. Act like adults, people.
Arrested Development:

I am a huge fan of the show. However, Fox, this one's for you:
You put the last four episodes that you will ever show back to back against the opening of the Olympics?
That's like taking a four year old, handing him a bat, and saying, "Hit a home run against Roger Clemens. Good luck."
You also won't officially cancel the show. For shame. Showtime and ABC are chomping (or is it champing? No, It's chomping, I think) at the bit for the show. They want to bid for it, but you not letting it go is making us AD fans mad as hell. Let the show go! If you aren't going to keep showing it, let someone else take it. It's not fair to us fans, it's not fair to the creative staff on the show, and it's not fair to the other networks. You don't want it. You made that VERY clear. You moved it off for freaking Skating with Celebrities (up next, see if Anna Nicole Smith's boobs pop when she slams to the ice). I admit it: I don't get the damn reality tv craze. Then again, I also like to read books for fun...shock of shocks.
Let the show go Fox. If you aren't going to bring it back, let it go. Let Showtime or ABC put it on so the AD fans can be happy.
You do have the chance to redeem yourself if you bring Futurama back...but that's a whole different issue.
Then again, what do I know? I apparently bring nothing more than fluff to the table. I could be wrong.
* Oh, come on. You can't sue me. I'm just a poor teacher....