Wild Vs. Canucks (10/14/05)

Wow, didn't this game already happen two days ago? Well, with the new scheduling in the NHL, rivalry teams (and teams within the division that have to travel far) will play against each other twice in a row. So, once again the Killer Whale Canucks stepped onto the ice at Xcel. Hopes were definitely high as the Wild had blanked the Canucks only two days earlier. With Roloson (and Cloutier) in goal again, things looked good. Unfortunately for Wild fans, no one can go undefeated at home....
For the first time this year, the crowd wasn't electric as the teams stepped on the ice. Sure, they cheered, but it wasn't like Wednesday night. Our boys played in their third jerseys (see right).
In the first period, it was all Canucks. Again, the total reverse of the game on Wednesday. The Wild gave up 13 shots and only took 1. Rollie the Goalie was on top of his game and only gave up a rebound goal to Anson Carter. At the end of the period, the fans are still optimistic that the Wild can come back. One of the guys in front me says, "The Wild do this all the time...no problem."
The second period saw a great deal of scoring. Walz bangs home the tying goal about 3 minutes in to the period. Derek Boogaard gets the first point of his career (congratulations). The Wild then get their first lead of the night on a power play goal by Bouchard. Still, the Canucks would keep coming back. They had an answer for every goal.
With the Wild up 2-1, Markus Naslund got the puck from Richard (Why did the Wild let me go) Park and fired a shot that went off of Scott Ferguson's skate and into the net. 2-2.
Park struck again 3 minutes later when he fired a long pass (that in the old NHL would have been a two-line pass) to Ryan Kesler. He fakes Roloson out of his skin and bangs the goal home up high. Two minutes later, however, the Wild are on a power play, and Brian Rolston lets loose his feared slap shot. The puck moves beyond the speed of light and gets by Cloutier (but doesn't pop out of the net through the back like when he was in Boston). Tied at 3, the period ends.
The third period, however, was all Canucks, all the time. Ricahrd Park put the game away for the Canucks with a beautiful wrist shot. If you've played and practiced with a goalie for a few years, it's not hard to get to know what he does right and wrong. Park knows Roloson's weaknesses, and it showed.
The absoultely worst part of the night, however, was the fifth Canuck goal. The (debatedly) most hated hockey player in Minnesota scores on an empty net. The fans who hadn't left (some had already...what's wrong with you?!) all boo in disgust and leave.
The final score is 5-3 Canucks. Former Wild man Richard Park is the first star with three hard-earned points. Remember: former Wild players Brunette and Park are who put Patrick Roy into retirement. Park is now on the Canucks, and Brunette is a member of the Avalanche.
There were also some interesting moments off the ice as well:
The "Let's Play Hockey" moment was done by Jeff Grayson. If you don't know who he is (and I honestly didn't), he hosts "Call of the Wild" on TV. No comments or allusions to Pawlenty tonight. Finally, a little over a week later, the whole thing is put to rest.
I, personally, knew we were doomed when the Wild went up 2-1 and some fans started saying, "Sieve." What did I say before, folks? If you do it at the wrong time, it jinxes your team. I was going to yell at these guys, but someone else who knew the whole process got to them before me.
Dutch Schnell...Goalie Racer. Yup, Goalie Racer. Only in Minnesota.
It's interesting to see how fast people can become fairweather fans. The Wild were losing, and the guys in front me start talking about the Vikings. Suddenly we're up two to one, and it's Wild, Wild, Wild. We the team was down 4-3, these guys said that if was that way with 10 minutes left, they would leave. It's one goal. What the hell are these guys thinking? And sure enough, they did leave, talking about the Bears and Vikings this weekend. Now, the Wild are pretty good this year. They've only played a few games, and they have a better record than Conference Finalist Calgary (take that Mike). If any of teams here lose a game, it's the end of the world. That's it for some of the fans. It's just not right.
Then again, what do I know? I'm the guy who thinks that the New York Rangers are still going to blow it. I could be wrong.
3 down, 38 to go.

Postponed

It has been a REALLY long day. So, due to, well, fatigue, I will be posting about the Wild game tomorrow.
Long story short, we lost.
Ok, until tomorrow.

Wild Vs. Canucks (10/12/05)

Great game. The Wild put the biscuit in the basket 6 times and Rollie the Goalie saved an incredible 33 shots for the shutout (two of those were without a stick as well).

Once again the Wild came out strong from the start. At three minutes into the period, the Wild were already on the powerplay when Zyuzin scored the first goal. Dan Cloutier, the Canucks goalie, (who will probably have a kink in his neck from the number of times he had to look in the goal to see the puck) was screened and unable to make the save. That would be the only scoring for the first period.

Many of the fans who had been to the first home game remembered that the Wild looked soft coming into the second period. Not tonight. The Wild came out hitting. Matt "Golden Boy" Foy showed that he was not only a hitter (blasting three Canucks), but also a scorer. With the Wild already up 2-0 thanks to a Chouinard goal, Foy banged home a powerplay goal to end the 2nd period scoring. This was his first ever career goal.

The thrid period, however, was the most exciting. Pierre Marc-Bouchard, who was called for diving (more on that later) came out of the penalty box to get tripped up while trying to score. You know what that means: Penalty Shot. The most exciting thing in a Hockey game. Everyone stood on their feet and cheered while Bouchard attacked the net. Using a beautious deke, he scored. Matt Foy would then get his 2nd goal of the game when he bounced the puck off the back of Cloutier. After Rolston made it a 6-0 game, the entire crowd was yelling, "Sieve!" Yet, for how badly Cloutier played, Roloson was amazing. He stopped every shot that came his way. He didn't misplay the puck once tonight.

Once again, there were some interesting aspects to the night both on and off the ice:

1. Joe Schmitt did the "Let's Play Hockey" moment. However, before he started, he made a comment about how, "The Governor showed me how to do this correctly." Many fans laughed at this.

2. There were some VERY questionable calls in tonight's game. The two linesmen and the two refs did not call several obstruction penalties on the Canucks. At one point, Bouchard was grabbed and thrown down by a Canuck player. He was called for Diving. It was a bad call. However, they made up for it with the penalty shot. Still, at one point Ruutu hit White in the face in front of a linesman and was not called for it. That's not ok.

3. Todd Bertuzzi. Everytime he touched the puck, the entire crowd booed. He is easily the most hated hockey player in Minnesota. They showed NO remorse. He even was jawing with some fans while he sat in the penalty box. The only person I have ever seen booed harder was Denis Potvin (if you know the Rangers/Islanders rivalry history, this will make sense).

4. Unruly fans...again. I had the same guys sitting in front of me again who tried to tell me to be quiet. I'm not kidding. I was cheering for Foy (see below), and one of them said to me, "You have to stop. You're too loud." Ok, if you don't want loud noises, don't go to the game. Instead of actually watching the game, these guys played with their cellphones. Ugh. Thankfully, the lady who didn't like me wasn't there tonight. Instead I got two very hardcore Wild fans (one of whom won the fan on the night). They were as loud as I was. Very cool.

5. Matt Foy. Our boy Foy scores the first two goals of his career. With Gaborik feeling better, I'm a little nervous that he'll get sent to Houston. However, if he can keep playing with this intensity, he's going to be a star. He can hit, score, pass, brawl. All he needed tonight was a fight, and he would have had the Gordie Howe Hat Trick (a goal, a penalty, and a fight). Congratulations Matt on your first two goals. Now, hit Bertuzzi harder on Friday.

There's just something about when the Wild play at home. They play harder and better. Then again, what do I know? I was the guy cheering too loudly in Section 222. I could be wrong.

2 down, 39 to go.

Fascinating

So, here's what so interesting to me:
A lot of my usual readers...have shuffled off to greener pastures. Granted, I now have people reading me in places I would never suspect (Honolulu?).
The other thing that fascinates me is that no one comments on the things I would expect. A few posts back I gave a lovely story about my posterior and the new mail person's hand. Nothing.
I put out the Smurf poster...nothing.
It just goes to show: You can't always predict what your readers want to see.
Off to see Wild/Vancouver tonight.

Damn You, SPAMMERS!

SIIIIGGGHHH!
I gave up folks. I went back over all of my posts and erased ALL THE SPAM COMMENTS. Do you know how many I had? 39. 39!!!! OY VEY!
So, though I tried so hard to be optimistic (which is tough for me), I gave up. I have attached word verification to my comment section.
Sorry that you have to do extra work now, but it was necessary.

God's Ok with Meth

Sigh.
So Ashley Smith originally said that she used God to stop her captor...and we believed her. Now, she says she also gave Brian Nichols some Crystal Meth to, "Calm him down." Uh-huh. Remind me, isn't Crystal Meth a horrible drug? Isn't this country at war with drugs? Shouldn't this woman now be punished because of her owning these drugs? Sure, she was held hostage, and she got a huge book deal out of it. Meanwhile, people dying of Cancer who smoke Marijuana can be arrested. Now, I don't know about you, but if she doesn't get in trouble for any of this, then there's a major problem. Either that, or it means that God is ok with Meth. God is apparently not ok with Alcholism (see AA), nor is he ok with other real substance abuse. Yet, this woman, who talked about how a certain book (no free plug for it here) and God helped her. Oh yeah and Meth too. So, this means that if I do Meth, I can still go to Heaven. Loop hole! Hoo-rah! Seriously though, if she is continued to be championed by people for being a great Chrisitan even though she used temptation to free herself, then it is more proof that religion is a crock that is now more about politics than spirit. In certain cultures, people will take a form of LSD in order to see God. Most Christians in this country look at that and say, "Oh that's uncivilized. If you truly believe in God, then you don't need drugs in order to see or feel him." Am I abdicating taking drugs? No, but I'm so sick of people bitching about how Marijuana is SO bad, and yet this woman who gave Crystal Meth (and let me tell you something, Meth is considered the WORST American-made drug now, because it's easy to make, easy to move, and when you're poor, it's cheap to have) is considered a wonderful Christian. You know what: The next time someone asks me, "What would Jesus do?" I'm going to respond, "Pot." Why? Because Meth can either calm you down or crank you up. Don't believe me, need something you can see? Go watch the film The Salton Sea, and you'll understand why tweakers are so crazy. I've never seen someone on Marijuana rip a desk in half. I've seen a tweaker do it. So, knowing how laid back Jesus was and how he had random comments about life, maybe, just maybe, Jesus was a pothead.
Then again, what do I know? I'm in the corner arguing with Vincent Van Gogh's self-portrait after taking a tab. I could be wrong.

Two Gays and a Jew Walk into City Hall...

(Before you question the title, read the blog.)
If you have been reading my blog since I began, then you know that the man on the left is my father. Yes, we (in my family) talk about how he is probably a secret agent for the American government (I mean the man is friends with spies, for cripes sake!), a brilliant professor, a caring father and husband, and, though I haven't mentioned this before, a pretty gruff Republican.
Though he looks pretty harmless, this not-so-mild mannered history professor was the former treasurer of the Republican Town Committee. He's also a high church Jew. What's that you ask? Well, my father is a pretty good with his faith, but there are no real synagogues near where they live now. So, he goes to the Episcopal church with my mother. As everyone else around him prays and follows the sermon, he reads the Bible. "It's chockful of sex, violence, and more," he's always told me. But that's not the point. Now, this is a man who I still look up to, even though he talks about how slavery could be returned (though not with a race aspect, more of a class aspect....Long story). So, what is about to happen is, to me, quite amazing.
My father is a Justice of the Peace. He ran unopposed in the town where my parents now live. (A small town called Washington which is just inside Connecticut.) As a Justice of the Peace, he can notorize documents (oh the power!), and he can marry people. You'll recall he and his wife were married in a civil union at city hall instead of at a wedding. Well, this man, a gruff Republican as it were, is going to be performing one of Connecticut's first gay civil unions. That's right: he's marrying two guys. Now, whatever you think of gay marriage, I am proud of my father. He is going against something he believes and is doing this act for a friend. Connecticut put this act of civil unions in effect only a few days ago, yet he has already been asked to do this. Is he worried? Actually yes. He's worried that he will become known as the gay-marrying JOP (or Justice of the Peace). I still think that he should get an Elvis, put in a drive-thru, and marry people Vegas-style. I'm proud of my father, because he is able to do something that many Americans cannot do presently: He is able to put aside feelings and do things with people who disagree with his views. He doesn't sit there and say, "You either think my way, or I'm outta here." Nope. He is one of the only Jews at Seton Hall University (a Catholic university), so he is able to do this. Perhaps we could all learn a lesson from him.
Then again what do I know? I voted for a guy with the last name "Hooker" for the Robbinsdale School Board, because I wanted to tell people, "I put a Hooker on the school board," and watch their reactions. I could be wrong.

Ramblings for the Evening (10/11/05)

It's a funny thing. My wife is in and out of town almost all the time now. She came back from Boston, then we went to Detroit, now she's in Boston again. I'm starting to feel like Kim Jong Il in Team America. So without further ado: "I'm so ronrey...so ronrey." (If you've seen the film, you get it. No, it's not racist.)
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Monkeys:
I've been thinking alot about monkeys lately. First, there was an escaped monkey in Detroit. Then I read Worm's post about Infinite Monkeys (Having seen that some scientist tried to see if monkeys with typewriters can make sense, I'm just more depressed about it. Bye and bye, the monkeys just pooped on the typewriters). Then my wife and I reminisced about the last time we went to the zoo. We decided to go to the Como Zoo. Yes, I know that zoos can be cruel and unusual punishment for animals, but they also allow children and adults to see animals up close that they may not see otherwise. Anywho, we headed to see the monkeys. Now, when we were living in Missouri (during college) we saw monkeys that actually flung their poop at people. It wasn't us, so it was funny (which is the crux of life, folks). These monkeys couldn't do that (there was glass in-between us), but while my wife and I were standing there, one of the monkeys (and I believe it was a Debrazza Monkey) was following my wife and kept trying to get her attention. It talking at her and following her where she walked. Now, being the good person that she is, Mrs. Leab stepped up to the glass and gave the monkey some nice comments ("How cute, etc"). Well, Mr. Monkey sure liked that, as he stood up and started pleasing himself. Yup, Monkey Masturbation. Anyone who needs proof that monkeys and man share a history, there it is.
So, we're laughing very hard, a older woman near us is making the Minnesota "Oooh" noise, and some parents are trying to rush their children out of there. The kids, at the same time, are asking, "What's he doing, daddy?"
To this day, I love that monkey.
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Michele:
I haven't heard from Michele in forever. I'm kinda sad. Really.
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Angry Alien:
If you're a regular reader of this little ole blog, then you know I love random websites that are amusing. This here website is quite funny. In essence, the author took famous movies, cut them down to 30 seconds...and added bunnies. Seriously. Check it out. Then, when you're done, go check out Happy Tree Friends, which I've pimped in a previous post. Deliciously disgusting and quite funny.
And finally....
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Death of the Smurfs:
Though quite a horrific looking scene, there's something kind of...funny about the idea that the Smurfs being ravaged by war. This picture comes from a UNICEF campaign on Belgian TV to teach kids that war can happen in even the most innocent places. Smurfette dies (meaning the village probably won't be creating any...new Smurfs for a while) and other Smurfs lose limbs. Now, why the Smurfs in Belgium? Well, The Smurfs were created by a Belgian artist named Peyo, so UNICEF figured that the national creation might speak to Belgians more than celebrities. (Quick, name three Belgian celebrities....) So, here are your questions class:
1. If you were going to use cartoon characters to illustrate a point about a social or political problem, who do you use and why? Now, some rules. You may not use Scooby-Doo and Shaggy for anti-Marijuana ads. That's just too easy. Notice I only said Marijuana.... Secondly, nothing too horrible. What's too horrible? Well, that's in the eye of the beholder...wink...wink.
2. Is this ad campaign going to work at all?
3. Could a campaign like this work here in America?
Send me your answers either using the comments section or to my email (see any Mail Monday, such as yesterday's to get it).
Have a good evening folks.

Mail Mondays (10/10/05)

I'm back from Detroit. It was...well...Detroit.
There isn't a a great deal of mail this week, so let's just get to it.
This letter came from a reader who honestly appeared (at first) to be a spammer. However, after reading through it, I came to learn that it was, in fact, a real person.
Dear I.T.
I really like your blog. (At this point, I'm thinking "Yup, spam...sigh.") You're idea of "Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of the Inane" is quite inspiring. I was curious about a few things:
1. How do you come up with some of your ideas?
2. How long have you been married and what's your wife like?
Keep up the good work. It's fun to read.
Shun Tai
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I have no idea who or what Shun Tai is. It could be someone I know, it might not be. Like the name though. So let me answer your questions:
1. My ideas: Well, most of them come from my sad little life. Seriously. I also try to see how my family and friends live their lives and attach what they've done to real life lessons. Though, you'll notice, I don't really talk about my sisters that often or....
2. My wife: The sunshine in my often grey world. I love my wife. I've talked about our first date, but I don't know that I've talked about marriage. We will have been married 5 years this upcoming March. She's great. I am very much an intense person, and she balances me. I won't post a picture, because she has asked me not to (there are times when she says, "Oh God, please don't talk about me," but I don't listen).
What is my wife like? She's a much better version of me...with her own sense of being and humor.
Well, that will do it for this week's Mail Mondays. Feel free to write in anytime to ironicteachings@hotmail.com or just leave a comment.