Friday, June 09, 2006

The Name Game

Ok, I do have a great deal to talk about (end of the year, a boring graduation, and more), but I really don't want to blog while I'm angry. Why? Because things will be written that could cause problems or complaints or more, and I'm too tired at this point.
So instead, it's the name game.
Feel free to pilfer and use as your own. This can be quite fun.
1. YOUR ROCK STAR NAME: (first pet and current street name)
Triscket Grimes
2. YOUR MOVIE STAR NAME: (grandfather/grandmother on your dad's side, your favorite candy)
Rogers Starburst
3. YOUR "FLY GIRL/GUY" NAME: (first initial of first name, first two or three letters of your last name
4. YOUR DETECTIVE NAME: (favorite animal, favorite color)
Penguin Black
5. YOUR SOAP OPERA NAME: (middle name, city where you were born)
Rogers New York
6. YOUR STAR WARS NAME: (first 3 letters of your last name, last 3 letters of mother's maiden name, first 3 letters of your pet's name)
7. JEDI NAME: (middle name spelled backwards, your mom's maiden name spelled backwards)
Sregor Seyk
8. PORN STAR NAME: (middle name, father's middle initial, street you grew up on)
Rogers J. Litchfield
9. SUPERHERO NAME: ("The", your favorite color, an automobile you have)
The Black Infiniti

There you go.
Tomorrow, I'll tell you all about the graduation that never ended, the interesting new NASCAR sponsor, more.
Have a good night.

Tuesday, June 06, 2006

A Great Excuse

At least I now know that if I get out of my car and beat the crap out of lousy drivers, I am now justified. It's great, isn't it? We now have excuses for almost anything.
"Your Honor, I know what I did is wrong, but I have Intermittent Explosive Disorder."
"You have bowel issues?"
"No, Your Honor, I have anger."
"Oh...then case dismissed."
Now of course it won't go this way, but it's just another excuse.
When I was a kid, being hyper was being a kid. You had some sugar, and you ran around until you were tired. Now that's ADHD.
We have too many disorders and too many drugs for them.
Look at the article. They recommend drugs for this disorder too. I'm not surprised. Drug companies can make a ton of money if everything you do is wrong.
Did I mention I also have ILD? Yup, Intermitten Laughing Disorder. I just seem to find things funny and laugh out loud everyonce in a while. Maybe I need to get depressants....

Monday, June 05, 2006

Ramblings for the Evening (6/05/06)

Can I just tell you that I find it deliciously ironic that on the eve of the supposed "Day of the Demon" I have officially received my sixth email from an angry reader? Yes, apparently my comments on Pat Robertson, as well as the Pope, were not liked by a few readers. I have to say: I love hatemail. It usually is just a rambling mess with only one through line: "Here's why you're stupid, and I'm right."
Good stuff.
What's funnier than that? I've gotten more mail...about Anderson Cooper. The Coop's got a lot of friends out there. I'd write about him, but I don't want all remember the last time I wrote about a reporter....Sigh.

Do you think I could piss off more people if I talk about the fact that New York should get that money back? I mean if you were a terrorist, would you attack New York or Wyoming? If you said Wyoming, you're a liar. You don't deserve your 72 virgins.
Ok, let's do this.
So, without further ado: SWEET CAROLINE....BOP, BOP, BOP!
David Hasselhoff is Omnipresent:

Seriously, this guy is EVERYWHERE. In the last few weeks, here's where he's been (in no particular order):
American Idol Finale (where he cried. Sorry, HE CRIED when the dude won).
Courtside at a Dallas Mavericks/ Phoenix Suns game.
Various talk show programs (he's pimping a new CD apparently).
In Germany promoting the World Cup (it's only a few days away now).
He's also a judge on America's Got Talent (That one is too easy to make fun of, so moving on).
Oh, did I mention that Steven Spielberg wants him in the Baywatch movie, and he may be a part of the Knight Rider movie?
This just goes to show you: if you go through an incredibly tough divorce and 'roid up (and I think he may be 'roiding, but that's just my opinion, folks), you too can have a great career.
Look, I'm not going to Hassel the Hoff", but I am going to ask: Why is he the only 80's star that we are resurrecting? Where's Tuti? What about Rick (Don't Call Me Ricky, Bitch) Schroeder? Where's Yahoo Serious?
I'm just saying...I'm slightly worried that I might walk into my school tomorrow and see him there. Then, when I stop to get gas for my car...he'll be there. Then, when I head out to buy groceries, he'll be there.
It's a little creepy.
An Open Call to the Theatre Class of 2006:
Ok theatre grads, this is an invite.
If you wish, I am opening up the booth to allow any of the graduating theatre kids the ability to paint one brick as their own. This will become a new annual event for the theatre people. You want to bring your own paint? (which I recommend.) Do it. You want to decorate your square with pictures? Do it. It's your call.
My plan is to do this on Thursday. You want to do it earlier, let me know. You're the first class, so the placement is up to you.
and finally:
Hey, Minnesota Wild!:
To the local team,
I really hope you're paying attention.
Look at the Edmonton Oilers. This is a team that spent most of the last 15 years (since they won their last championship) as a joke. However, in the new NHL, this team is now thriving. They're spending money (did you see the Pronger trade and multiple signings), and they take chances (they traded for Roloson).

Look at the Carolina Hurricanes. They, too, have spent money and made trades.
Both teams had attendance issues, but guess what? They STILL spent the money to make the team better.
Now, I am a loyal season ticket holder. I have been for a while now. I have also attended many games since I first moved up here which also happened to be the team's first season. When team kind of screwed people during the lockout season, I did not complain. Nope, I paid my money.
This past season, however, you did NOT play into the new NHL. Your team reamained like the old guard. In fact, the Wild only spent barely over the minimum salary cap.
So, I want you as a business to look at the Edmonton Oilers and the Carolina Hurricanes. Two teams that did NOT spend the least amount of money and look what happened to them. The Oilers are the first number eight seed to make the finals (and they will probably win it in six). They traded for Roloson (who most fans AND management said was, "done."), and they made it MORE affordable for the fans instead of raising prices on a mediocre team.
I, as a loyal season ticket holder, declare the following:
1. If the team trades away the veterans and then rarely plays the superstar kids, I will no longer be a ticket holder.
2. If you have a subpar season (not making the playoffs, or, worse yet, being under .500), and you still raise ticket prices, I will no longer be a ticket holder.
3. If you do absolutely nothing in the offseason to try and get a big ticket name (hi, Zdeno Chara, did we mention that Minnesota is a great deal like the Czech Republic?), or to improve the team (DEEEEFEEEENNNNNSSSSSEEEEE), then I will no longer be a ticket holder.
Use the Oilers' model, folks.
They made the finals...we're playing golf.
Just a thought.