Ramblings for the Evening (01/31/06)

Yeah, yeah. I know. I haven't posted in a few days. Well, my life has been slightly...complicated lately. So sue me.*
So what's going on? Well, the second semester has started. We'll get to that.
So, without further ado: KICK IT!
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Like a Mac Truck:
The title refers to what I feel like. The new semester has started, and I am in unfamiliar territory: Freshman.
I have three classes of English 9R, and they are making me work harder than the Seniors EVER have. After yesterday, I felt like I was hit by a Mac truck. I came home, after, uh, corrupting some new theatre kids (he-he), and slumped to the floor. For ten minutes, I could not move. It was horrible. It's going to be very interesting to see how things go.
Now, to compound this, my wife is currently away. Her company decided to send her to Ireland at the last minute, which means that my support staff is nowhere to be found. Let me tell you, at the end of my day yesterday, I needed a hug. What I got was an evil cat (yes, the orange one) attempting to chew off my ear. Why? I don't know.
Today, I just feel like I've been hit by a pickup. My hope is that by Friday, it will feel like I've been hit by a biker, but we'll see.
It's amazing to me. In only 48 hours, my plate has become incredibly full. There's the musical, which needs sets (and I have to see if I can convince one of the students to overcome a fear of heights), the spring play, which seems to have some difficult sight gags, my classes, the Anime Club (which I may end up being the advisor for....Long story), IB training, and much, MUCH more. Still, I love being a teacher. I love it when my students come to me for help or just to chat. I had several students drop by to talk to me about colleges today. It was fascinating.
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More AWESOME Lawsuits:
Where to start?!
Ok, USA Today is reporting that an Italian man, who just happens to be an atheist, is suing a parish priest, because... (and here's the best part) the priest said Jesus Christ existed. Now, you have to understand, this case is about two 70-some-odd year old men going after each other.
The suit essentially breaksdown like this:
Luigi Cascioli is arguing that Enrico Righi has been preaching a lie. He also argues:
"• That Righi's parish has profited financially from promoting what Cascioli calls "the fable of Christ's life."
• That the church is guilty of "impersonation" by confusing the persona of Jesus with another man named John of Gamala, said to have lived in Israel around the time of Jesus.
• That the four Gospels are filled with conflicting and inaccurate evidence about Jesus."
But the best part of the case is that Cascioli has to prove Jesus did not exist, and he has to do it without a shadow of a doubt. This one is going to be fun to watch.
Now, another fantastic lawsuit has come about because of James Frey, the not so beloved author of A Million Little Pieces. It seems that two people in Seattle are upset about the fact that the book they paid for with their hard-earned money was in fact false. They're upset. VERY upset. They're so upset they want money for their lost time. Yeah, you heard me: These two are suing for "lost time." Can you imagine the depostion?
"So what could you have done with that time you gave to Mr. Frey's book?"
"Well (sniffle) I could have spent those few hours with my kids. Or I could have planted a tree and made the world better. (Sniffle.) I guess, we'll never know (full break down crying)."
"Please, calm yourself. Have a tissue. Now, was the book entertaining?"
"I thought it was great...until I learned it was false. It made me want to become a drug addict instead of not being one. (Single tear rolls down face.) He took time from me. I'm a middle-aged woman, and HE TOOK MY TIME! Time I can NEVER get back."
"And how much time did he take?"
"Four hours!"
Come on, folks. This is ridiculous. Funny as hell, but ridiculous.
The topper, however, is the Benihanas Lawsuit.
It seems an older man and his family decided to have dinner one night at a Benihanas in New York (not in the city). The chef allegedly threw a piece of shrimp at the man. He ducked, and, in doing so, "wrenched" (their words, not mine) his neck. The pain was unbearable, so he underwent surgery. This man, Jerry, as he was known, apparently died from complications of the surgery. His family has decided to sue the Japanese Steak House chain for ten MILLION dollars claiming it was the chef's fault the man died. That's right, In a Rube Goldbergian way, this chef caused the events that led to the man's death.
So, I say, I'm going to sue the parents of my current students for a stress-induced death. No, no. Hear me out. The parents gave birth to the kids, so it's their fault I feel stressed. I want millions. Someone get me a lawyer!
Of course I'm kidding...unless it's feasible. No. Seriously, just kidding. No suing.
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The State of the Union Address:
Rather than comment on the actual speech, I just want to talk about the few things I've noticed so far:
1. Why the hell is James Lipton sitting with Laura Bush?
2. Enough with the standing ovations. You know why Harrison died after his inauguration speech? He spoke for two hours in the rain and got sick. This could be a fifteen to twenty minute speech. Everybody stop with the damn ovations. (We've had six as I prepare to post this.)
3. All news stations will stop with extreme close-ups of people in uniform. Yes, it's sad this woman lost her son and the other lost her husband, but I don't need to see every freakin pore on her face. Back OFF!
4. 20 bucks: We pull troops out of Japan and send them to Iran. Any takers?
5. War president = Red tie. Peace president = blue tie.
6. Seriously, JAMES LIPTON? HUH?
7. I think the man's great, but is McCain smiling, smirking, unhappy? What's up?
8. Ok, this picture is hysterical. All it needs is Alberto Gonzalez and a Asian-American and we have the diversity shot for the current administration. Anyone want to take a shot at captioning this photo?
and finally....
9. What is this? Night at the Apollo? Stop booing and cheering for each other. Act like adults, people.
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Arrested Development:
I am a huge fan of the show. However, Fox, this one's for you:
YOU SUCK!
You put the last four episodes that you will ever show back to back against the opening of the Olympics?
That's like taking a four year old, handing him a bat, and saying, "Hit a home run against Roger Clemens. Good luck."
You also won't officially cancel the show. For shame. Showtime and ABC are chomping (or is it champing? No, It's chomping, I think) at the bit for the show. They want to bid for it, but you not letting it go is making us AD fans mad as hell. Let the show go! If you aren't going to keep showing it, let someone else take it. It's not fair to us fans, it's not fair to the creative staff on the show, and it's not fair to the other networks. You don't want it. You made that VERY clear. You moved it off for freaking Skating with Celebrities (up next, see if Anna Nicole Smith's boobs pop when she slams to the ice). I admit it: I don't get the damn reality tv craze. Then again, I also like to read books for fun...shock of shocks.
Let the show go Fox. If you aren't going to bring it back, let it go. Let Showtime or ABC put it on so the AD fans can be happy.
You do have the chance to redeem yourself if you bring Futurama back...but that's a whole different issue.
Then again, what do I know? I apparently bring nothing more than fluff to the table. I could be wrong.
* Oh, come on. You can't sue me. I'm just a poor teacher....