Mmmm....Lungalicious

Before I became the awe-inspiring teacher I am today, I used to work at the Minnesota Tobacco Document Depository. It was extremely odd (and that's honestly the best word to describe it). First of all, there's the space. Imagine the warehouse at the end of Raiders of the Lost Ark and add nasty flickering fluorescent lights. You know the buzz one of those lights makes when it's close to dying? Imagine hearing that noise no matter where you went. It could drive you crazy when there was no music or noise.
The oddest aspect, however, was the staff around me. I can remember a day where everyone was supposed to bring in canned food that would be eaten at lunch. We ended up Spam, Potted Meat, and Anchovies. Put that on a cracker with Spray Cheese, and, apparently, you have a meal. It was as disgusting as it sounds, and it took a great deal of mental discipline not to throw up.
Beyond the canned food incident, there were just an odd assortment of people (names have been altered). There was Tanya, who once corrected me for asking her about her kids. "I do not have kids," she told me, "I have children. Kids are baby goats." She also like to tell me about how I had a guardian angel on my shoulder that only she could see. That was creepy, but it might explain my shoulder and neck pain when I worked there.
There was Suzy, who came in shortly before I left (or escaped). She liked to tell everyone about every little thing they were doing wrong using the power of Minnesota Nice. "Do you really think those shoes go with that shirt?" she once asked me. She also like to talk about her boyfriend who was a mechanic of sorts. I never really got it.
How about Randy, who was an aspiring director (along with John) and like to ask the most random questions. "You're on a deserted island after your boat sinks. During the destruction of the ship, you've had to lose a limb. Which one and why?" It was odd.
The only person I really got along with Patty. She was a cancer survivor from Africa. She was always very sweet and always had a cheery disposition. Patty was the only one of the staff that I would really let work near me, because she wouldn't tell stupid stories, she wouldn't criticize, and she had great taste in music.
The most ironic thing about working at the Depot, however, was the fact that aside from myself and one or two other people, the staff all smoked. That's right, they all smoked! Even though we had bags of blackened lungs, and even though we read documents on a daily basis that talked about chemicals, and risks, and such, they would all go outside (even in the dead of winter) and smoke. It was extremely odd, and very ironic. In some ways, I think it's the very definition of ironic: people who work with information about the dangers of smoking all smoke. That's very funny to me.
I have a great deal of stories that came out working at the depot. I'll try to share more over the next few days. There was indoor golf, chair races at Site B, the other trial I was assigned to, my own "office" and much, much more! Stay tuned.