Ramblings for the Evening (9/14/05)

Ok, I know: I've been doing alot of the "Ramblings" lately, but that's because so much happens during the day. At some point, I'll do what evey good blogger does and make some sort of schedule. So, with out further ado: SMOKE EM IF YOU GOT EM!
Britney Spears Gives Birth:
This one's too easy. Take your pick.
1. Christians: It was a boy....The Anti-Christ is here, so you should begin preparing.
2. Name that baby: No name has been released yet, so I thought I would throw out a couple names for her and Federline to mull over before choosing. (Feel free to leave your own ideas in the comment section.)
Welfare Check Federline (It makes sense. Her career is over)
Cheeseburger Spears Federline (She did say that was her favorite food, and food is hip now.)
New Orleans Federline (She loves her home state. Why not show pride for its fallen city?)
George Bush Federline (She did say we have to follow him no matter what.)
Justin Gigolo Federline (Like the song. She could call him that way. Every where he goes...)
Confederate Spears Federline (Cause the South might rise again.)
Madonna Spears Federline (She says she wants to be Madonna...)
3. Will anyone really care about her anymore? Seriously?
Delta and Northwest File for Bankruptcy:
I don't know about you, but I'm really not surprised. Now the two airlines can merge into one ginormous (that's for my wife) company, and Northwest can use Delta's mechanics. Problem solved for them. Seriously though, it's not surprising. The question is this: If Northwest goes all the way under, how screwed up will Minnesota's economy become? I've been saying for years: Fix the freaking railway systems. One of the best parts of Europe is riding around on the trains. Same thing in Japan. Come on America, let's wise up.
Chess Teacher Arrested:
Look at this man. Can you seriously tell me that anyone is really surprised that he was arrested for possible child sexual assault? How did he do it? "Pawn to Queen 7....King to Rook 4....My hand to your pants 2....Don't tell your parents 6...."
I mean seriously, his chess students sometimes spend the night at his home. How can you not see this coming if you're a parent. They saw it coming with Michael Jackson. Yet this guy, who's a dead ringer for my buddy Worm (Oh I kid, Worm, I kid. Worm's a handsome guy...or so I've been told by Tara) was just kicking it with students in his home, and no one thought, "Gee...Timmy sure is spending the night over at Bob's an awful lot. Oh well, must be practicing." Oy vey!
Finally...
The Most Evil Cat in the WORLD!:
Ok, he's not the MOST evil cat in the world, but he sure is darn close. Every morning before my alarm tells me it's 5:30, this lovely cat sticks a wet nose on my face. If that doesn't get me up, he goes to his "B-Move" (as my wife calls it) where he gets on my face and tries to suffocate me while digging his front claws into my neck. It's the kind of move that, were he not a cat, would probably be done by S & M lovers (or dominators) everywhere.
Now, if that move doesn't work, this lovely cat (and he is quite lovely, and hopefully will make it into the Bad Cat calendar coming out next year) will then go to the wall and begin picking at it using his claws while meowing. Even if a pillow is thrown at or around him (or even hits him) he will not stop. The sad part is that once I get up and he gets his drink from the faucet (yes, this is all about me turning on the bathroom faucet) he then goes back to sleep WHERE I WAS! He's clever, cute, and conniving. If only he were a woman...oh I kid the female species, I kid.
Well, special guest Sir Winston Churchill, how do you feel about tonight's ramblings?
Ms. Spears' baby still looks better than Prince Charles. That family was definitely hit with the ugly stick.
Thank you Sir for your cheeky British humour, as it were.
Good night Ladies and Gentlemen.
UPDATE
Apparently, the kid has been named Preston Michael Spears Federline. Um, I got nothing.