Tuesday, May 23, 2006

Ramblings for the Evening (05/23/06)

All day I thought it was Wednesday. I was so excited to think the week was half over. Now imagine my disappointment when I figured it out. Not a good thing.
Let's do this....
So, without further ado: OH GREAT STEVE!!!!
Pat Robertson...is Superman:
Hear me out. I'm not a big Robertson fan, but check
this out. Pat Robertson can leg press 2,000 pounds (Take that Madeline Albright and your 400 pounds). That's one ton! The man can press a Toyota! "How?" you ask. Well, it all has to do with his energy shakes (which you can buy at his website...but it's for God...yeah...God).
So, here's my plan. If Pat Robertson can leg press one ton, then he can be like Bruce Willis in Unbreakable. Wait, hear me out. He can go around righting the wrongs on this Earth. He doesn't like how Homosexuals are adopting? He can use his mighty legs to jump to all the places where they are adopting, and then kick them off the continent. Wait! He could kick our illegal immigrants away too!
How about this: Robertson, Tammy Faye Messner (nee Baker), Benny Hinn, and Jerry Falwell create a SUPER TEAM!
Robertson's powerful legs could be used to kick the enemies of Jesus!
Tammy Faye could use her eyes to take down criminals!
Benny Hinn can knock over any man, "With the power of Christ!"
and Falwell...well, someone has to be the brains of the operation....
Throw in Willie Ames as Bibleman and we're ready to fight the evils of hardcore liberalism, homosexuality, and even...other sects of Christianity!
Any thoughts?
Look, either they form this team, or I want a "Circus of the Stars"-type show. I want to see Robertson do this press. And it has to be all at once, none of this, "I did 10 reps of 200 pounds which is 2,000." Nope. All at once, and several reps. Let's go, holy man. Show the world.
Happy Birthday Rex:
It's been said. Moving on.
Regrets...I've had a few:
Regrets are horrible. Several of the other blogs I read have been talking about regrets they have. I have a few (I am, after all, only human). However, I don't let those regrets run my life. One blog I read (sorry, not naming this person) has been talking about how these regrets are coming back and not allowing this person to live his/her life.
I want to give some advice to the person:
Having regrets is fine. Allowing those regrets to dictate your life is not. Everyone makes mistakes. It's a part of life. The issue is that you have to be able to say, "Damn, I made a mistake." Then, you have to pick up the pieces and go on to the next thing. Why do we fall down? So we can get up.
Allow yourself to see the mistakes, but don't allow them to blind you. You had a bad relationship? That sucks, but it's over. The past. Keep going.
You told someone something you shouldn't have? Apologize and go on.
There's a story I like to tell that illustrates my point.
When I was applying to colleges, I made sure to make college visits (you have to see the school before you decide). When I went to St. Louis to check out Washington University in St. Louis, I got a campus tour from a guide who said (and I quote), "I can do this whole thing blindfolded. I know this place like the back of my hand."
We started the tour and came upon a part of the sidewalk that was cracked. Without looking he managed to miss the crack. Good for him. However, a few feet after that was another crack that must have been new. Our guide was concentrating on one of the gals in the group when he hit the crack with his heel and tumbled. Ten minutes later, he did it again. After that, he walked forward the rest of the time, but still managed to talk in a way we could hear him.
I bring this up because when we regret, we look back on what has happened and ignore what is or will happen. We're walking backward in the darkness on a path we don't know.
Regret should be like that prom dress or tuxedo you own. You have it, but you only wear it occasionally.
That's all I got. I hope it helps.


dennis said...

OMG, THe Robertson bit is insanely funny! Sounds like a Robot Chicken episode, maybe you should submit it.

dennis said...


I filled the log! I found my nuts!

Admin Worm said...

I like your piece about regrets.

I firmly believe, however, that everyone has their own timeline for leaving the past behind.

It took me years to forgive myself for the circumstances surrounding my first marriage. It took a lot of introspection and honesty with myself.

It took over a year to stop kicking myself for turning down what in retrospect seemed to be my "dream job." I declined it for reasons of pride and for the longest time thought I was an idiot.

Circumstances have arisen recently which make me think that I probably made the right move. I'll never know for sure, but I at least sleep better at night now.

Hope you're well.