My wife has a lovely friend named Jill. Jill is a funny, energetic, and vivacious engineer who looks like Giada De Laurentiis only thinner. She also tends to like the liquor. The first time that I talked to Jill was at a hot tub party at one of my wife's co-worker's house. Jill, who was already three sheets to the wind, stood up in the hot tub and screamed at me, "Get me some Tequila!" Derek, Jill's husband, shook his head vigoursly. When I agreed and said, "no," Jill got upset, got out of the hot tub, ran over to the bar, grabbed the bottle, and jumped back in to the water. As the alcohol coursed threw her veins, she, along with the other drunk ladies in the hot tub, called for Mark (whom I have mentioned in previous posts) and I to "get naked and get in the damn tub." Both Mark and I slinked away in order to avoid more embarrassment.
I like Jill, don't get me wrong. Beyond the yelling and drunken debates, she is a very intelligent person to talk to about a great many things. However, when Jill gets drunk, she goes to a whole new level. Once, thanks to her imbibing alot of beer, Jill created a new term that has spread out across the nation. This term? Party Loser.
It was Thanksgiving night of 2003. My wife, my friend Paul, and I had finished eating and were laying out on the various couches while watching football. Slowly, but surely, we were being dragged into that Tryptaphaned (no, I can't spell) state. Feeling weighed down, I was unable to move when the phone rang. Still, I answered it only hear a piercing scream come across the line. The conversation was as follows:
Jill: Screams into phone
Me: "What the hell? Hello?!"
Jill: "It'ssss Jill. Hi!
Me: "Hey what's up?"
Jill: "Derek and I are going to see that Neil Diamond impersonator. You guys want to come?"
Me: "Umm...We're kinda drugged out. Trytaphan (I can't spell) and all. So I think we're gonna pass."
Jill: "What?! Cooommmeeee Ooooonnnnn!"
Me: "Yeah, dude, we can't move."
Jill: "You are SUCH a PARTY LOSER!!!!"
Now it turned out later that Jill was so drunk that she couldn't stand up. Still, this whole "Party Loser" thing stuck. I told Paul and Caroline about it, then it spread. Another friend of mine, Vicki, who lives in Indianapolis, told me that a friend of hers heard the term from a friend in Minnesota, and her friends have started using the term. Now, whenever anyone in our group tries to cut out early while we're out partying, we turn to them and say, "Don't be a party loser!"
Jill still laughs about it when we bring it up. So thanks Jill for coming up with a new term. Who knows, maybe we can copyright it like Trump did with, "You're fired." (Does this mean I owe him a quarter now?)