Mail Mondays (01/02/06)

Annnnnnnnnd Happy New Year.
Yeah, I'm a day late and a dollar short, but it's the thought that counts.
Let me start by saying Arrested Development is the best show in television. Period. Tonight's episode was pure genius. They hit every type of gimmick other shows would do: Live feed (last line), stunt casting (Andy Richter in five parts), heartfelt (father and son bond!), and even 3D. They also threw in so many inside jokes. They producers shopped the show to HBO who passed. The line in the show?
"The Housing Builders Organization isn't going to want us?"
"The HBO passing on us? We don't need them."
"What are we going to do?"
"It's show time."
Brilliant.
If Showtime really does save the show, I think many people would be ecstatic.
I'm also happy to announce (if anyone who read this cares) that Futurama is going to return. As of right now it's only as a straight-to-DVD movie, but the producers have been talking about bringing the show back a la Family Guy. I don't know about you, but I found Futurama extremely funny. The episode where Fry switches hands with the Robot Devil was not only laugh out loud funny, but also quite touching.
So, how about the mail? Well, I got some really interesting nastygrams after the post about Don Shelby. Apparently he's loved by many a Minnesotan. There were a few "How dare you"s, a couple of "You crossed the line"s, and one, "I don't get it."
So, how about I stop rambling and get to the mail?
Yeah, I'm skipping Sherno Stops, because I missed a few days and don't have a full total.
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Ironic,
First of all, where the hell did the "Throwdown in Downtown" come from?
Secondly, that was the WORST ending I could have expected. The "Fight of the Century" ends up in a draw? Come on, that's a cop out. You cheated your readers!
We wanted Keillor to be left in a bloody pile.
We wanted the other guy (that would be Rex Sorgatz. It's good to see complainers really read) to be badly beaten.
We wanted an ENDING!
Disgruntled Reader

D.R.,
1. Short and simple: Rex Sorgatz was selling a shirt with the words, "A Prairie Ho Companion" on it. Keillor got pissed and fired off a cease and desist order. It was a perfect setup for a fight.
2. Sorry if you're unhappy, but that's how it ended. Why? Well, first of all, I opened it up to the public to decide who would win. One person voted for Rex, and one person voted for Keillor. Let's see...if I do the math...carry the four...yeah, that's one for each of them.
There will be another fight in a few months. I can almost guarantee that.
You can't be happy with every ending. I know a few films where the ending pissed me off (Matrix Revolutions, Saving Private Ryan [How could Matt Damon KNOW what the others experienced?], Crimson Tide, I could go on and on). However, did you laugh at all? Did you not find the whole Fan Man thing funny (a story which happened in real life)?
If not, then yes, I did fail you, but if you even giggled, then I did it right.
Sorry you don't like the way it went. How about suggesting an ending for the next one.
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Leabster,
Tice got fired.
Thoughts?
D-Rock

D-Rock,
I don't really like the Vikings. I feel bad for the guy, but EVERYONE saw it coming the minute management gave him their backing.
Whenever management says, "We back (fill in the blank) fully," he or she is getting fired. End of story.
He'll work again, probably in college.
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Leab,
Are you really married?
Also, your pics. Is that really your dad?
Curious J

Curious,
Yup. It's proof the universe is totally unfair.
I have a wife of almost five years (March 3rd to be exact).
Why?
Ask her. I think she's nuts.
Secondly, yup. That's my dad. I actually put that picture on stamps for him so he can send himself to others. If I ever have a production company (say, Ironic Teachings Productions), that would be my symbol. The man with the balloon.
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Mr. Leab
I don't like being the butt of someone's jokes.
Who the hell is "Diddy", and why are you comparing him to me?
I assure you I am a professional and would never smack a fellow anchor.
Shape up, sir.
Don Shelby

Dear Don,
Fake letters are always fun.
It's even better when someone emails you as "Don Shelby" with Don and Shelby in quotes throughout the entire letter.
If one weren't looking at the email carefully, one might miss that fact as well as the smiley face at the bottom of the page.
Good try though.
I somehow get the sense the REAL Don Shelby hasn't read this. Perhaps DeRusha will point him my way and then I'll really get my ass kicked.

Last one:
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Leab,
Fuck you so much for that Jingle Bells thing.
It was lame, but it almost gave me a heart attack.
You're a bastard.
A loving student

Dear meine studentin,
I got a few emails and comments about this.
I sent it to my wife, who screamed, and then got very angry at me.
(In case you missed it, here it is again.)
However, the angriest email came from a co-worker of my wife who didn't understand my warning...and watched it with her six year old son. Umm, he freaked, apparently peed himself (on her lap), and she was pissed at me. That was a fun email.

Well, that's it for tonight. School starts up again tomorrow, so my posting may become erratic.
I should have ramblings tomorrow and on Wednesday a fun story about how I almost married a gal to keep her in the country.
Take care.