Saturday, November 01, 2008

Training in Dallas...

Day 1.

A tourist. I should have been preparing for the training, but I was a tourist. The group I am with couldn't check in for a few hours, so we headed to the Sixth Floor Museum in Dallas. The museum is fascinating. The audio tour takes you through who JFK is, the fateful day in Dallas, and the conspiracy theories. It's incredible.

After a quick stop at a steakhouse (where I learned one of my colleagues with me can't look at taxidermy...because it scares her), we moved to the hotel.

The hotel, the Hilton Anatole, is what would happen if the Mall of America added on a hotel. A few rooms to sleep in surrounded by overpriced stores. My colleague actually bought a $2.00 bottle of Diet Coke today. Candy was also a $1.50...for the little bars.
It's usually a bad sign when the hotel gives out a fold-out map when you check in. Want to go to the sculpture garden? Go past the elephants, around the five different bars, and go outside to the other side of the compound. Ok, maybe it's not that bad, but it's close.
My room looks like the 1970s flew to Japan...and threw up. Orange everywhere.

Incidentally, the sculpture garden is the best part of the whole place. There's a quiet Koi pond where the sun shines and the grass is soft. I took my shoes and socks off and frolic a little before meditating. Of course one yutz had to come over ask me what I was doing.
"Why'd you take your socks off? The ground is dirty."
My first thought was, "Really? That's a problem for you?" But that's not what I said. I merely said, "Because the grass feels good for my feet. Try it."
"Eww," he responds. "Not way. Your feet will get dirty. You're weird." And with that he returns to the path and walks away. No loss for me.

Dinner last night was an adventure. Literally. We headed over to Medieval Times because one of my colleagues really wanted to see it. First of all, it was $40 for each of us. Secondly, the "fabulous feast" we were promised was mislabeled. I have no problem eating with my hands, though one of my colleagues would remark, "Umm...if we were really eating with the king, we'd have untensils."
No, the problem was the food itself. The ribs we were promised turned into rib (singular), and it was all fat. The chicken was down and dirty greasy, which is fine, but it took several washings to remove the smell.
My biggest problem, however, was the show itself.

I'm spoiled when it comes to theatre. I know how the tech works, and I have worked with some amazing actors in the past. Not to be too mean, but the acting was kind of atrocious. Don't get me wrong, as horse trainers and stunt people, these guys are good, but they can't act.
The worst was Princess Leonore who sounded like a Disney princess who was constantly ready to burst into song...but she never did. Beyond that, she dropped into her obviously East Coast accent now and then. "Oh my prince...Dis is a moment I will never forget."

However, the guys were good at fighting and riding. My section was for the Blue Knight (no idea of the name). He had the best hair out there. It was nicer than the hair of most of the girls I know. At the end of the show, the knights come into the lobby and talk to the nobles (audience). I just walked up to him and gave him a hug. It freaked him out.
If I had one gripe for the knights, it would be the telegraphing. I know they have to as it's all routine, but it's weird to see a guy point where he's going to start. I can't imagine a real sword fight where the knight points at a guys arm and starts to attack him.

It may be a money maker, but you can tell that the actors who are part of the show (not the knights) hate their position.

Still, I recommend going to see it once just so you can experience it.

As for the training far it's all lecture of things I already knew. Not really helpful.

We'll see if it improves.

Verily until then, my lords and ladies...


1 comment:

soxanne said...

Seriously? I can not even begin to picture you at one of those midieval dinners. Not that I've ever been to one myself. At least you got to enjoy the grass and the museum.

So welcome back.

Now can I have those measurements?