Strange Feelings

Sometimes I swear that I'm asleep, and my dreams have taken control of my life. Sounds odd, I know, but sometimes things happen that just don't feel like they can be real. I don't mean like pigs flying or anything like that (although I had a disturbing dream the other night where God came to me a la Joan of Arcadia in the form of Wayne Newton and talked to me about life. So strange. Should probably seek help). No, I mean a person says or acts in such a way that is so totally different then their character that you think, "This cannot be real."
For example: I was out picking up Chinese food the other night when this woman who seemed nice came in to the restaurant. I had been waiting for ten minutes and had not yet ordered (they were swamped). As I waited in line, this woman got on her cell phone in the corner and talked just loud enough that the woman in front of me and I could hear her. I had seen her talking on her phone in her car when she pulled into a parking space really close to my car. Anyway, she told the person on the other line about how she had been using the whole funeral excuse all day, and it had been working. "No one's caught on yet," she explained. So, a few more minutes passed, and the lady in front of me ordered. As it was about to be my turn, she stepped in front of me and said, "I've been at a funeral and haven't eaten. Can I order before you?" I thought about what I had heard, and honestly, if I hadn't been having a bad day, I probably would have kept waiting, but something within me stirred, and I told her, "No. Just wait a little longer." That did not sit well with her. It was like telling a two year old to stop. Her face twisted, and she got very angry. As I finished my order, she was back on the phone complaining about me. Even more rude was that she ordered while on the phone (a no-no in my book).
Now, her order came up before mine (I was ordering for two, while she was ordering for one). I, meanwhile, was talking to the other woman about cars. I even pointed out my own car in the parking lot as she asked about the model. Well, Angry Gal must have heard me, because when she walked back out there, she slammed her car door into mine and then keyed me. Yup, she got so mad at me, that she keyed me. I was walking out when she did this, and took in the situation, and finally yelled at her. Unbeknownst to me, a cop had pulled up as we were talking. The Po-Po asked me what was happening, and I began to explain. Angry Gal cut me off and used her funeral story. When I explained that I had overheard her saying it was a lie, she got very defensive. That was it for me. The cop told her to be on her way without any citation. I was pissed, so I called him on it. Whoops....Well, Officer Krupke (not his real name) did not like that, so he got out of his car and told me to be on my way or I would receive a ticket.
As I got in my car, I couldn't believe this was real. Maybe I was on Candid Camera, or maybe it was a dream, but alas, it was real.
Another example is when a student, who is usually difficult, changes and is super sweet to me. While I was covering for another teacher who was out, there was this one girl who would tell me everyday about what she didn't like about me ("You're ugly, stupid, etc). I would just laugh it off. After a week of this, she suddenly changed her tune and was all about how great I was. Total turn around and very unexpected. It didn't feel real, and I kept waiting for a Maurice Sendak creature to come out of the back room and ask to play.
I don't know. Sometimes the news and real life just doesn't seem real either. Paris Hilton marries person with same name, Trump creates ice cream flavor, man's dog shoots him, Keith Richards still isn't dead, and on and on. It's just so strange. Maybe I'm right. Maybe I'm asleep, and my dreams are holding me captive. How else can you explain that students like me (for God sake, I'm a friggin teacher)?