Two Year Old Sitting Buddy

On Saturday I went out shopping with my wife. I am not a big fan of shopping, but I do love hanging out with my wife. Thus there we were Saturday afternoon in Ann Taylor so that she could use a 20% off coupon. While my wife looked over various articles of clothing, I headed for the only seat in the store.
You see, in the back of this particular retail store is a lone couch. It faces the shoes away from the windows and the clothing, and it is allllll the way in the back. This is the last "safe" place for men in the store. Essentially, by not facing the clothing, men cannot see what the women are looking at (and thus figure out how much it will cost). At the same time, not seeing out the window to see the sunshine and happy people walking does two things: 1. You don't think about how much you're missing out on, and 2. (less happy) you don't really know how much time has passed (think about being in a casino).
So, I sat alone. I was the only man in the store, and, armed with only a magazine, I headed to my false haven to wait. However, today would be very different.
Sitting there reading about "Good Carbs, Bad Carbs" in Minnesota Monthly, I heard the short, fast footsteps of child running toward my position. Sure enough, there was Francesca. This little precocious two year old was told by her mother to sit on the couch, but when Fancesca saw me, her eyes lit up. I had nowhere to go (I had my wife's purse for one thing), so when she sat down next to me, I had no escape.
Francesca, as I mentioned before, is two years old. She is very energetic, likes to talk, and liked me (apparently). She sat down turned to me and said, "Hi! Do you have a name?" Pretty gutsy considering that her mom had told her not to talk to me (more on the mom later). Thus, a new friendship was born. I heard all about her favorite color (purple), about the colors she was wearing (a slight mispronunciation of green that sounded like groun), about her favorite animals (giraffe and kitty), and more. She obviously liked me, because she kept trying to show off. Ever seen a MADtv sketch with Stuart? This little actually said to me, "Look what I can do," and then started to try and flip around on the couch. This is where the trouble began for my little buddy.
Francesca's mom saw her with me and immediately moved toward us. This is what she saw when she looked to the back. A guy with a beard holding a magazine on the far right side of the couch, and the feet of her daughter who was doing handstands on a couch. When she got to the back, Francesca's mom told her daughter to, "stop, and leave the goofy guy alone." Francesca looked at her mom, smiled and then jumped over to me and started talking to me again. I didn't look at her, because I could tell the mom was staring intently at me to see what I would do. Upset, Mom took Francesca and told her to stay with her. I thought I was now alone again, but I was wrong.
No sooner had ten seconds passed, when Francesca came bolting to the back of the store and hoped back on the couch. This time, her mother did nothing. So Francesca and I talked for another twenty minutes. During that time, she invented the finger-eating game. I would put out my hand to help her count to five. When we reached five (and thus my hand was open) she would begin to bite off my fingers to get us back to zero (I'm not kidding, folks. This was her invention). With not fingers out, she would have to tap the top of my hand in order to count up. We did this for ten minutes.
Again, her mom came to the back to try clothes on and saw the two of us together. Unhappy, she asked one of the sales clerks to watch her daughter. This woman (her name was Tammy) tried to get Francesca to talk to her, but Francesca wasn't having it. I was the dish du jour, and she was not having anything else. The clerk gave up, because she was all about me, so again, it was just the two of us.
This is where it got very awkward. Francesca was still hoping on the couch when her mom returned from the dressing room. Mom did not want Francesca jumping, so came up behind the couch and told Francesca to stop. Did she listen? No. Mom asked again. Nothing happened. I then turned to Francesca and said, "Listen to your mother, Francesca." Bam! Francesca stops jumping and sits down next to me. The look in her mother's eyes was, to say the least, not good. So Mom decided to make Francesca stick by her. "Say goodbye to the goofy guy," she told Francesca, and took her back to the front of the store. Francesca began to misbehave, because she was not happy. However, her mother did not really correct her behavior. It sounded like a person ordering at a cheeseburger: "Yeah, I think I need you to stop, please. Thanks." Do you think this worked? Show of hands please.... No. Mom then gave up, again, because she found a shirt she liked and Francesca was my sitting buddy again.
All through this, my wife was laughing. As she put it, "you have someone who is mentally your age to hang out with now." Ok, I really said that, but Caroline agreed. She agreed with me, however, that Francesca's mom showed no real interest in her child. The only time she really paid attention to Francesca was when she saw her on the way back to the dressing room, and then it was only because Francesca was near me.
Finally, it was time to go, so I said, "Goodbye," and went to the register. Well, Mom was ready to check out to, so Francesca kept running over to me at the other register and hugging my leg (and I'm sorry, I kept thinking about horny dogs, because she would not let go). As I started to leave, I waved goodbye to Francesca, who told me, "Bye-bye." It was cute. Mom apologized to me, but it really wasn't a burden. Honestly, I was more angry at Francesca's mother for not keeping tabs on her little girl. She would find an article of clothing and her two year old would be forgotten. No wonder Francesca liked to talk to me, I looked her in the eye. Anyway, I told Mom that it was fine, and one of the clerks told her to get my number for babysitting. I moved a little faster toward the door. Still, I enjoyed my time with my two year old sitting buddy, because she made me laugh and was very forward about things (best quote: I peed in my pull-up).