A Conversation with My Cat

I usually get up at six every morning. This is because I need time to get ready and then drive the 20-30 minutes to St. Paul for work. This morning, however, one of my cats decided to wake me up earlier for a conversation. Usually they are pretty good, but this morning Oscar decided we needed to talk. So, at five, as I was sound asleep, he decided to use his claws on my neck to wake me up.
As I grabbed my neck thinking something was wrong, I discovered my furry friend sitting on my pillow. I rolled over and looked at the clock and was shocked at the time. Tired and groggy, I attempted to go back to searching for Kubla Khan. Oscar had other ideas. He decided we needed to talk about politics, life, and kitty litter. I did not want my wife to wake up, so I got up and walked down to the bathroom. It was there we conversed.
Me: Ok, I'm up. What do you want?
Oscar: First of all, can you turn on the sink? I'm thirsty.
I turned on the water.
Me: There you go. Now, why am I up so early?
Oscar: Thanks for the water. Anyway, what do you think about the geopolitics of Indonesia post tsunami?
Me: Umm, I don't know. Perhaps they can rebuild with help?
Oscar: I don't think so. Sometimes you're sooo stupid. How do you remember to feed me?
Me: I think it's too early to discuss this.
Oscar: Ok, ok. How about kids? Do you think you're going to have kids?
Me: Maybe. Why are you so interested?
Oscar: Cause I want to eat 'em.
Me: What?! That's horrible!
Oscar: Haha. Got you. I'm just kidding.
Me: I cannot believe I'm talking about this with my cat. Sigh.
This conversation continued for ten minutes until I realized two things. One: I was having a conversation with my cat that made sense, and I was neither high nor drunk. The second problem was that the entire time we were talking, there was a crocodile swimming in my toilet. At this point I realized that I was still asleep. I opened my eyes, and I was, indeed, still in bed. However, Oscar was scratching at my neck, and he was meowing at me. With a sense of deja vu, I got up and went downstairs to feed the cats.
I am still waiting for these cats to come forward and tell me their plans for world domination. They are just that evil at times. Still, I love them. They are a great source of entertainment.