Introducing....

A new segment here on Ironic Teachings: Mail Mondays.
We (and by we, I do, in fact mean just me) get interesting mail and comments here at the old blog. I decided that I would share some of those comments or thoughts with you, my dear readers. First, however, some business. I would like to point out that I have a new link under my student section. Many of my readers (as well as myself) are fans of The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy and other Adams novels. Well, there is a true to life guide, and I am inviting anyone to check it out. It's quite...interesting. So, let's get to the mail.
1. This particular message was left by local celebrity (and self-proclaimed, "D-Lister") Jason DeRusha. I made the comment that I felt important because he had read my blog. Well, he responded (and if you don't believe me, click here):
1. You guys think I'm a local celeb? D-list at best.
2. You guys think I have an intern? I wish.
3. It really is me. Your blog is right above mine on the MNSpeak.com aggregator. I consider us neighbors. I like IT!
Now, Mr. DeRusha may not think highly of himself, but we here at Ironic Teachings think he's great (and not just because we're neighbors on MN Speak's Aggregator AND Slanderous Minneapolis). All we ask, Mr. DeRusha....Can you get Shelby to comment as well? Just kidding. Keep up the good work and thanks for checking us out.
2. This e-mail came from a rather angry Minnesotan. I'm used to it, but my intern (Evil Cat) was quite shocked and was so angry, he ate a bird...seriously.
Dear Ass,
Why don't you go back to New York transplant. We don't want you here.
Signed,
A Fan (I'm using a pseudonym in order to protect anonymity. I'm nice that way.)
Dear Fan,
Once upon a time, the human race had this wonderful gift given to it. It was called humor. Humor allowed us to laugh at things that we knew couldn't be true (or even things that could be true). We knew that people who used humor (often called humorists, or humourists to the Brits) were, in fact, either kidding, or pointing out life's foibles (a real word, look it up). Unfortunately, something has happened to humor: Modern society took it out into the back alley, raped it, and then beat it to death with a lead pipe. Seriously! If people were that thin-skinned, would George W. Bush ever go out in public? Would Clinton? Now, as to your "transplant" comment: I'm sorry that the city I am from is the honest to God center of this planet and that Minnesota is really associated with choking football teams and Fargo, but shouldn't you be glad that people are moving here? We help the economy. Yes, I did previously write about the bad aspects of Minnesota, but I also wrote about the good. Get over it. You live in a cold state, but you have such thin skin. Sheesh. You would think with the Vikings choking so often that you would be used to teasing. (At least from Packers fans, right?)
3. This lovely e-mail comes from a guy I went to high school with. I honestly have tried to keep a low profile, but he found me after reading my comments in USA Today. He then managed to track down my blog. This email came to me from him.
Hey Leab,
Damn it's been a long time. How've you been? I'm good...(He goes on to explain what he's been doing with his life, etc.) I saw that you wrote a piece in USA Today. Good for you! You're wrong, but good for you. People don't want to go to the movies anymore. There is no shared pathos, because we cannot get into modern films. Even Christians couldn't really get into The Passion of the Christ because of audiences, complaints, and a new "sensitivity" to violence. DVDs are better. Get with the future! We all want to be the guys on MST3K (Mystery Science Theatre 3000, for the uninitiated) who make up jokes when the film is bad and make comments about what makes the film good. Nothing more. Nothing less. At the same time, Hollywood gives us nothing we care about anymore. How do I know this? I work for them. (He goes on to explain that he is a screenwriter, but again...anonymity. Then he finishes his email.)
Dear Old Buddy,
Sorry, but you're wrong. There still is a pathos in the theatre. We have a shared connection. We laugh together because we are all in the moment with each other. No one turns and says, "What the hell are you laughing at?" (In a comedy.) Yes, DVDs are easier, because you can stop them for bathroom breaks or food, but you lose the connection of the darkened theatre. Most houses do not have that top of the line home theatre setup that draws you in to the world. You always know you're in your home. If I had seen Crash for the first time in my home, I don't know that I would have had the same experience as I did in the theatre (or theater for most Americans). Besides, years of theatre going hasn't stopped most people from talking during the movie. Happens all the time now.

Thanks for joining me for the first edition of Mail Mondays. If you want to join in, either leave a comment anytime (preferably where I'll see it) or email me at ironicteachings@hotmail.com.
Have a good night folks.