Monday, October 24, 2005

Mail Mondays (10/24/05)

Wow, another Monday. Seriously, does anyone like Mondays? After a few days of relaxing, you have to return to the grind. Be it as a student, worker, or whatever. Oy vey.
Well, let's get to the mail this week.
Hey Leab,

Where do you get all your stories (the stripper guy, the dead Aussie, etc.)? You sure these are real?
The Fact Checker

Well, Mr. or Ms. Fact Checker,
I read way too much. When all is said and done at the end of the day, I read about six newspapers (at least), several websites, and (shock of shocks) I talk to colleagues about what they've been reading, listening to, etc. I'm very sure that the stripper story is real. It was in the
NY Daily News (free to read online...for now), and today they pontificated about it on KQRS (though they once again left out facts that were know like this happened two years ago today). On a side note, I love this picture. It's the ultimate "deer in headlights." McCormick looks like the camera guy called him Hitler. As for some of the other stories, well, I read "The Strange News" on the Comcast and Yahoo websites. Yup, while you're reading about Britney Spears, I'm reading about an exploding python, a dead Aussie driver, and more.
Why do I read so much? Well, if you just read one paper or one source, you don't get everything. I love to read both the NY Daily News AND the NY Post, because one if super conservative and one is pretty liberal, so they will approach a story very differently. It allows you to find the truth in that story, because, you see, the truth is always in the middle. It's never as clear cut as they present. No one side is always right. It just doesn't work that way. That's why I read so many sources.
Who's this Emma person you mentioned before?
Inquiring minds want to know?

Oh sure, "Anonymous", I bet "they" do. Where do I begin? Emma is the reason why the St. Thomas Education program now talks about what to do when your students "like you." That's
right. I was asked to talk to the program heads (and to a few classes) about what to do when a student has a crush on you. Now, she may deny it, or she may not, but most of my colleagues (and some of her fellow students) believe that she had a crush on me. Now, I honestly can't tell you what goes on in the heart and mind of a teenage girl, but this one, I am assured, had a thing for me. Emma is not your typical teenager. Most teenage girls aren't really concentrating on the far future, yet she was.
She's quite intelligent, and he fondness for me led to many interesting days.
Emma was one of the students, for example, who arrived at my home to "fork" my lawn. I know a few people aren't sure what "forking"is. Basically, the students put many, many forks into the teacher's lawn. As Emma once put it, "It's the new TP." I've mentioned
before how she and a friend came to my home.
However, there were other stories as well. For example, I turned Emma into a Smurf. Ok, not a real smurf, but close enough for reality's sake. I was working on a set, and I warned her not keep hitting me with
paint (think third grade hair pulling, but make it about paint). I gave her one final warning: "If you do that again, you will regret it." Well, being as she is the typical teenager, she did it again. So, I put her on a cardboard box and said, "If you apologize, I will not do it, but if you don't, I will pour a can of paint over your head. She refused, so...I made good. I took the blue paint, and I poured it over her head. The students (who had turned up to watch) were shocked. Emma was shocked. I, however, had proven that my word is my bond. There is a testament to that day on the wall outside the scene shop at the school. It has to do with "The Legend of Mr. Leab." Of course, funnier than the actual paint pouring was Emma's response. She first attempted to hug me (in order to get me painted), then walked around in a bra. Several students (and the director of the show) commented about the fact that she seemed to be walking by me mostly. What a shock.
The bottom line is that Emma is a very smart girl, but she has never been given boundaries. She's smart enough to get around most people, but when she ran into me, she was stuck. One of the things I know annoys her is the fact that she could never beat me. I could use logic or simple verbal tricks to stop her in her tracks. That is why I think she liked me: I was her foil. I said no, stuck to my guns, and outwitted her. Now, she goes to another school, and I don't really hear from her.
Hope that answers your question, "Anonymous."
Law # 2 of "Leab's Laws of Life" makes no sense. How can the situation be hopeless, but not serious? That makes no sense!
A Student

Oh boy. I sure got alot on this one. Some people liked
Leab's Laws of Life (scroll to the bottom), some people really didn't. Funny enough, it was the students who questioned more than the adults. I really thought it was going to be the other way. Whatever, back to the point.
#2: The situation is hopeless, but not serious. What does it mean? It means that even if things look bad, you can't dwell on them so hardcore. It DOES NOT mean that you ignore the seriousness, but rather understand it, and then move on to figuring out how to solve it. You fail on a test. It's hopeless that you can get the grade changed to passing, but the seriousness of it shouldn't be held on to for days. In the grand scheme of things, you will have more tests to take, more chances. That's what it means. Make sense now?

Thanks for stopping in for today's mail. See you all tomorrow...maybe.


Admin Worm said...

Leab, who are these people sending you mail? I can't fathom strangers sending me e-mails actually asking about my blog, but then again maybe 'cuz it's only immediate family that looks at mine.

Leab said...

Mostly students, former college colleagues, random people who have read my blog, etc, etc.
It's mostly students, former or current.

Admin Worm said...

Well, you keep this up and I'm using your Mail Mondays questions for Who's News.

Leab said...

Oh come on. They aren't that bad. If you want me to write fake questions for your Who's News, I can do that. It's not hard

Admin Worm said...

I didn't say they're bad, I'd just love to get my hands on 'em.

But I'll resist, especially since you dogged me so much about our tennis game.

Leab said...

Well...I mean the light was bouncing off your head and blinding me. I'm still seeing spots.
Seriously though, if you want, I'll start sending over the questions I don't use.
Let me know