Baby Whews

I didn't post yesterday, because I spent the entire day babysitting a 7 month old boy. My friend Paul had to go to St. Louis (for a bachelor party), and his wife had to be at work. With no other options, he called me. Now, anyone who knows me knows that I am loyal to a few people and willing to help if needed. I called in to take the day off (sorry Highland) and went over to help.
Basically, I had to drop Paul off at the airport and then watch the kid by myself for seven hours. No problem, right? Wrong. You see, I had never been with an infant by myself before 10:30 yesterday morning. Oh, I had watched Xavier before, but not without my wife to guide me (she used to watch her younger cousins when they were babies). I am the youngest of three kids, and the youngest of my cousins (of the ones I saw as a child), thus I never before had worked with a baby. Want to guess how I was feeling after Paul left the car? Nervous would cover it.
I got young Xavier home, and immediately he started to cry. This was not a "I'm not a happy camper" cry. No, no, no, no. This was more of a "Oh dear lord, why have you left me with this man? I'm gonna die" cry. He got so shrill, that I could feel my ears hurting when I got close to him. This was only twenty-five minutes since he was in my charge. His crying totally flustered me. I ran through the various things it could be in my head. It played out as a conversation between myself and my Id (or Ego, or whatever. That's not the point.)
Maybe he's hungry?
No he ate in the car. Remember, Paul fed him.
Ok, then maybe he needs to be burped?
Good thinking, let's try it. (after a few minutes, Xavier is still wailing and my left ear is ringing.) No good. Next idea?
Could he have pooped? Smell him.
No, he smells fine. I'll change the diaper anyway.
As soon as put him on the changing table, he got louder. The cat bolted at this point as if to say, "screw you. Your problem, bub." The diaper was clean. Again, having never really worked with diapers, and with the little poppet screaming, I became flustered. I had a hard time getting the diaper into the right position. I started to think about my mother, and my sister. How could they do this? I was only with him for a half an hour, and I was ready to sell him on the black market for a pair of eyes and half a liver. It made me realize how strong parents have to become in order to deal with all of these issues.
Anyway, with his diaper changed, his crying had not really subsided. He was now hicupping from his crying. "Waaaa, hic, aaaah!" I returned to my conversation.
Damn. I was sure that was it....Ok, how old is he again?
He's 7 months old.
Ok, what happens when a baby is 7 months old?
Uuuhh. Uuuhh. Ooh, maybe he's teething? Where's that teething ring?
The ring did the trick, he stopped crying. I later found out that Xavier was supposed to have a nap, but I had not been informed of this.
The rest of the day went alot smoother. Xavier watched Antigone with me (he was not a fan. I'm not sure I really am either). He kept trying to crawl, but the house has harwood floors, so he kept pushing himself backwards. It looked like a modern dance piece. After he ate again at one, he fought it and fought it, but he fell asleep. After a nap of a little less than two hours, he was up again, and playing with me. His favorite thing seems to be "upside-down baby" where he is turned upside-down and swung around. There were giggles (from both of us). Lori, his mother, returned home around six, and Xavier lit up (he is very aware of who his parents are).
So, the final score read something like this:
One baby still alive, one mother relieved, six phone calls from or to family members (a totally unrelated issue), four diapers changed, one bottle of milk downed (baby), and one extremely tired baby sitter (though it wasn't the baby that made me tired, so much as family talks and a very warm house).
What lesson did I learn from all this? I don't know. The kid's alive, so I guess I can take care of a baby. Do I want a child of my own? I still don't know. I'm not thrilled that this came about for a bachelor party, but again, that's another story. Suffice to say, I am actually sore today (probably from holding the baby so much yesterday).
So, to parents out there, I salute you for your ability to take care of these small creatures and remain (somewhat) sane.