Life In The Slow Lane

Minnesota has decided to open up the express lanes to anyone willing to pay to get on them. In theory, this is a wonderful idea. Drop a few bucks, and you can skip the rush hour traffic to get to your destination. There's only one problem: Minnesota has forgotten that the people here are terrible drivers (it's no wonder that this state has been ranked in the top ten for bad driving). Some of the natives realize this, because there was an article back in 1999 in the July 29th edition of the Star Tribune. Essentially, the article admitted that Minnesotans can't merge, drive the wrong speeds in the incorrect lanes, and are overall pretty bad drivers. You need more proof? Look at the amount of road rage posted about Minnesotans. I believe I mentioned these problems in a previous post.
Now you can send a nastygram or hate mail, because you believe I am wrong or are just bitter about your driving, but I have further proof from Minnesotans themselves.
As I mentioned before, the new 394 lanes are open to the public should they wish to pay. An article on Tuesday said that the lanes were a complete success, but the picture as well as the experience says otherwise. The picture shows the entire eastbound lanes of 394 backed up in all lanes, including the new "fast lane". The picture, however, is not the only way to tell the experiment is not working at 100%.
Jackie was born in Minnesota (up near Brainerd), grew up in Minnesota, and still lives in Minnesota. She also has the benefit of living near 394 and takes the express lane in order to get to work. On Monday (as well as Tuesday) she took the express lane in the hopes that it would go faster. Unfortunately, instead of only three lanes of backed up traffic with people driving 4 mph in the left lane, Jackie had to deal with an express lane that was backed up. Think about that for a minute. The EXPRESS LANE was backing up. What's the point of the lane then? She explained that the following problems occured:
1. No one would let people move over. That sounds really familiar.
2. People were driving slower. Again, not only familiar, but it's an EXPRESS LANE. Go faster.
3. Many attempts at angry retaliation. Apparently, if a Minnesotan gets cut off, they will retaliate. It doesn't matter that it endangers everyone else, just as long as he or she gets revenge.
4. Unsafe Tailgating. I know, almost all tailgating is unsafe, but it is necessary at times. However, she explained that people were driving so close that you could see their pores. Maybe that's a little exaggeration, but I have seen how close they get.
On Tuesday, I myself went into the lanes in order to bypass (or so I hoped) traffic. I, too, experienced the above problems. We slowed to a crawl and were barely (and I stress BARELY) moving faster than regular traffic. I watched a green BMW on the outside keep pace with me. I believe we were both moving at 25 to 35 MPH. If that's the case, what's the point? I had a Escalade on my rear that was so close, I could almost read the lips on the kids in the back seat. This woman was not paying attention to me, but rather looking at her kids and looking at the clouds and other cars. At one point, we had to slow down quickly, and I heard the screech of tires from behind me. I honestly prepared to be hit. I was convinced I would be because she was so close. Luckily, I was able to swerve a little, and she was as well. She did almost hit me, and instead of being shocked, she rolled down her window, honked at me, and started screming at me to pay more attention. That is that wonderful Minnesota Nice at work. In the car? Go nuts.
I know a driving instructor who says that everything he tells his students is countered by their parents. He once witnessed a parent tell his son, "you don't have to let people in. They have to find their own way." That's a problem, people.
So here's my tip to you: Review the rules of the road and learn to let go of your anger and frustration. When we drive angry, we don't pay attention. Think of Bill Murray in Groundhog Day: everytime you get frustrated, think, "Don't drive angry. Don't drive angry." Do that, and maybe we won't be in the top ten of the worst states to drive in anymore.