Ladies and gentlemen (and readers of all ages), this is one of those days where I just don't understand the opposite sex. You look over the following tale and tell me if I am just stupid or what. I freely admit that I have imbibed a great deal of wine.
My wife and I decided to go out for dinner tonight. We headed over to Sapor in Minneapolis. Fabulous restaurant. I highly recommend it if you're heading out with a group or just on your own. Extensive wine list, great bar and dinner fare. Superb.
Back to the point. Over the course of dinner, my wife and I started talking about the attractiveness of other people. Now, your typical person, regardless of whether or not they are in a relationship, will inevitably look at other people they find attractive. One of my wife's friends married a guy who is, for lack of a better description, man-pretty. He's one of those guys that walks into a room and every woman swings her head. I would be jealous, but he's, well, a mimbo. It's the classic Cyrano tale. He's pretty but he can't talk. I gave him lines to use on his wife, which apparently worked. I say them and women go, "ICK!!!" He says them, and women suddenly need new underwear. Ok, maybe that's a little far, but you get the idea.
So here's where I get confused. I don't care that my wife thinks he's attractive. She's married, not dead. The problem, however, is that I don't look at other women. I don't care anymore. I'm married, and honestly, I don't think about or look at other women.
At one point, my wife asked me, "Who do you consider attractive?" I started to think about it. "Who do I find attractive?" After what I would consider a VERY long minute, I answered my wife truthfully. "I don't find other women attractive. I married the woman that answers that question. You are everything I find attractive from looks, to brains, to personality."
Now, I would think this answer, which is the truth, would make her feel good. I was, however, VERY WRONG. She was and still is not happy with my response. She says that my answer shows, "I have no standards," and I'm, "not comparing her to anything." Why is that bad? Seriously, I don't know! I used to date a gal who told me that she, "shouldn't be compared to other women." Am I a total schumck and just don't realize it?
I would think being told, "You're the pinnacle of what I'm looking for," would be a compliment. I don't look at other women, because I'm happy with my wife. There's no reason to think there should be anything better. And yet, she's unhappy that I feel this way. Why? Is it because she needs that competition? I also don't feel bad that she looks at other men. I would if she did anything with them, but looking is ok (at least with me).
Honestly, it's also tough for me, because I have never really thought of women that way. Sure, a lot of guys say this, but I, for better or worse, mean it. Who do I find attractive? I don't know. I find my wife attractive. She's brilliant, beautiful, and has a killer sense of humor that can make me laugh so hard I cry (and pee my pants a little). She makes me very happy. Why would I bother looking around when I have that?
So ladies and gentlemen, if you have an answer to my dilemma, please let me know. I thought I was telling my wife how much I love her, but I guess I was just hurting her feelings.